NSFW Sunday Knows What Will Make You Feel Better

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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ Spanking (giving or receiving) can be a mood booster, and according to a recent Northern Illinois University study participants report feeling psychologically happier and less stressed after than before. At the Establishment, Kate Sloan writes:

“Spanking has been a kink of mine for a couple years, my favorite form of foreplay or a titillating treat all on its own. But in the past few months, I’ve started to use it as a mood-lifter when I’m depressed or anxious, too. It’s versatile that way.

While Georgia continues to smack me with the paddle, another friend holds my hand from where he’s sitting on the couch, while still another pal mutters in my ear about what a good girl I am, how well I’m taking my spanking. My friends are well used to my peculiar preferred way of shaking off the sads, and they — fellow sufferers of depression and anxiety — understand that whatever helps, even a little bit, is worth doing.”

Eden Alexander and Chelsea Poe via the crash pad series

Eden Alexander and Chelsea Poe via the crash pad series

+ Porn SEO depends on a laundry list of racist, sexist, transphobic, ableist and ageist terms and tropes created by mass production companies and leading to a feedback loop in which the available terms shape viewers’ habits, which reinforce “what we have come to see as natural desires” but which are instead manufactured (and awful). At TrechcoatX, Stoya and Kayden Kross are developing a new squick/squee tagging system of porn vocabulary that aims to be more precise and more ethical, as Natasha Lennard notes in the Nation:

“The project, at its most ambitious, seeks to create a new feedback loop of porn watched and made, unmoored from the vagaries of old, bad, lazy categories. Any suggestion that mainstream porn is simply a reflection of what ‘people’ want is undermined by the fact that people are being steered by near-hegemonic content spewers. The model leaves no room for the fact that a vast number of porn viewers might hate typing in ‘interracial’ or ‘teen’ but must navigate this lexicon to find desirable content. The uncomfortable consumer then feeds unhappily into the system that dictates how porn is made. Stoya admits that TrenchcoatX’s tagging system is a work in progress that is not and should never be complete. The aim is not simply to produce a new set of terms but to develop a more ethical way to create them over time. […]

Porn is part of the ecosystem that tells us what sex and sexuality are. Porn terms are, to use Foucault’s language, part of a network of technologies creating truths about our sexuality. Efforts like those at Trenchcoat would also create a regime of truth of sexuality, but, with hope and care, a more ethical one. Foucault might argue that no system of categories can be liberating if it affixes us to specific sexualities and identities. TrenchcoatX’s response is to keep moving.”

@megawoo + @B_fasho via rodeohs

@megawoo + @B_fasho via rodeohs

+ In-person retail is largely dying but brick-and-mortar sex shops are going strong, thanks to mainstream sex positivity, knowledgeable staff, and the desire to touch expensive sex toys before purchasing them:

“Another important factor driving these gradually rising figures is, believe it or not, online shopping itself. While the internet has effectively killed the offline market for pornographic magazines and video, customers often use e-commerce websites to research unfamiliar products before popping into local stores to make purchasing decisions.

The reason is simple, says Wolf: If you’re going to spend a lot on something that you plan on becoming very intimately acquainted with, you’re going to want to ‘see it, touch it, [and] feel it’ first. Ordering books and video games online is one thing; with products that you put on and in your body, things have to fit, and look and feel comfortable enough for intimate use.”

+ The internet of bodies is coming.

+ Into forced orgasms? Try out bondage and vibrator play alone or with a partner, edging with verbal commands with a partner, forcing them yourself during masturbation and more.

+ Here’s why pain can make you horny (spoiler alert it has to do with neurotransmitters).

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Ray Walsh discusses piercings, including genital piercings, pain and reclaiming body parts.

+ It’s time to rethink using raw cloves of garlic to treat your yeast infection.

+ Exercise might help prevent UTIs.

@witchuationist via rodeoh

@witchuationist via rodeoh

+ What can a Daddy/little relationship look like in practice? (Yes this is talking about consenting adults; no kink shaming will not be tolerated in the comments do not even try me with that shit this weekend.)

+ Sex gets better as you get older.

+ No on California’s Prop 60.

+ At Future of Sex, Dr. Trudy Barber discusses the question, Will sexualizing machines (ahem sex bots) change human understanding of attachment? And at the Washington Post, E.L. Dickson argues that sex robots won’t ruin sex, and might even make it better: “Our collective freakout over sex robots is yet another example of how our culture is terrified of technology — even though history has consistently proved that technology in the bedroom is rarely, if ever, something to be feared.”


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Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Editor and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Bitch, Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 761 articles for us.

20 Comments

  1. After reading the UTI article, I just want to remind everyone that association is not causation. I’m a pelvic floor physical therapist, and I have a bit of a different perspective on the association between UTIs and sedentary lifestyle. Many of my patients have chronic pelvic floor tension, which can lead to urinary retention (which leads to UTIs) and which can also cause them severe pelvic pain on a daily basis, not necessarily only when they are having a UTI. They commonly have comorbidities like interstitial cystitis, IBS, low back pain, sacroiliac pain, etc. And they often report that their pain and urinary symptoms prevent them from being as active as they’d like to be. So it’s possible that the causative effect is the reverse of what the article implies, or there could be no causative effect either way. Of course as a PT, I’m always going to be for people being more active, but if pelvic pain is preventing that, a pelvic floor PT can help!

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