NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is a Rupture

Feature image of Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexuaal orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Golden Curlz and Vivienne Vai in Crash Pad Series episode 273

It’s one thing to get ghosted by a Tinder third date. It’s another to get ghosted by a longer-term partner. At the Outline, Brandy Jensen gives advice on what to do if that’s happened to you:

“[W]hat happened isn’t simply unjust, it points to something much more frightening — that love itself exists outside the framework of justice. There is no court at which to plead your case, no authority who can grant you recompense.

This is a terrible thing to contemplate, and naturally the mind rebels. After a particularly surprising break-up we all prefer not to know this, just as we prefer not to know that the person you loved does not love you back. Not enough to stay, and in your case not even enough to be gracious as they leave. This knowledge is a rupture, and so we grasp at the fiction of closure.

And closure is a fiction.”

Decriminalize sex work.

Here’s how to be a better bottom.

Here’s a great introduction to golden showers. Hydration is key.

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter in Crash Pad Series episode 280

“[H]aving boundaries is just the recognition that you’re soft and permeable, a stuffie with pores and mucous membrane, and everything you encounter, human and otherwise, has its own energy that you’re subject to and have to manage, all on your own,” writes Kate Carraway at the Establishment in this primer on setting boundaries, including with the behavior and bodies and not-consented-to Insta stories of people around you, your own thoughts and more:

“[Y]ou have to do what you said you’d do. Even worse, you have to keep your cool! So if your thing is that your roommate uses 16 glasses, cups, mugs, and repurposed Le Parfait jars for iced coffee and lemon waters throughout the day and leaves them out, scattered like lily pads, and never washes a dish because the water “splashes” her (in this example, I am the Golden Goose), and you told her that next time you were taking all of your contributed shit and storing it in your own room and then locking the door, you have to do it. Or if someone yells at you but you decline to be yelled at, and have clearly, at some point, communicated that you decline to be yelled at, you have to leave or hang up or log off when they start yelling, instead of asking them—again, again, again—not to yell.”

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281

At the Daily Dot, Ana Valens writes about how it can be hard to figure out and relearn masturbation for trans women (and what to try):

“The more trans women I spoke to on- and off-the-record, the more I realized what I was doing wrong. I wasn’t experimenting with my body. I wasn’t listening to the sensations running through my arms and chest when I lightly graced them. I thought I knew how to touch myself, and I tried to do it by force. What I needed to do was relinquish control, play with my breasts and nipples gently, and listen to the signs my body was giving me while playing with myself.”

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 927 articles for us.

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