Megan Fox to Participate in Time-Honored Bisexual Tradition of Releasing a Poetry Collection

feature image photo of Megan Fox by  Dimitrios Kambouris / Staff via Getty Images

Megan Fox, who I’m 90% sure appeared in very bad poetry written by my teenage self in performing arts high school due to my intense obsession with Transformers during a formative year, is writing a poetry collection of her very ownPretty Boys Are Poisonous will be published by Gallery Books (the same publisher doing Britney Spears’ upcoming memoir) on November 7 and is already available for preorder.

The collection contains over 80 poems, so Fox has been staying busy. I’d be remiss not to point out it’s not the first time Megan Fox has indicated she’s a poetry bisexual. Who can forget the time she went on Watch What Happens Live — my favorite program for finding out wild celebrity stories — and revealed that after an argument with her former husband Brian Austin Green, she…wrote Friedrich Nietzsche poems on his wall with PERMANENT MARKER!!!!! Honestly, that dramatic anecdote alone makes me think she’s perfectly qualified to write a poetry collection. Will it be good? That’s a different question, but I’m rooting for her!

The publisher includes a quote from Fox in its description of the book:

“These poems were written in an attempt to excise the illness that had taken root in me because of my silence. I’ve spent my entire life keeping the secrets of men, my body aches from carrying the weight of their sins. My freedom lives in these pages, and I hope that my words can inspire others to take back their happiness and their identity by using their voice to illuminate what’s been buried, but not forgotten, in the darkness.”

So basically, we’re getting over 80 poems dragging bad men. I’m listening, Megan!!!! Now I’m just rooting for her to accomplish her 2023 New Year’s resolution of getting a goddamn girlfriend. Maybe becoming a published author is a path toward that. After all, I met my soon-to-be-wife when she was on book tour for her debut novel. I wish the same for Fox. (Some reports suggest she’s back with Machine Gun Kelly, but that sign can’t stop me because I can’t read.)

Pretty Boys Are Poisonous by Megan Fox comes out November 7, making her book a Scorpio, which feels correct.

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 814 articles for us.

4 Comments

    • I want to like Megan Fox: She’s gorgeous, and she seems to be intelligent. And then I love this quote:

      “I have no question in my mind about being bisexual,” Fox stated. “But I’m also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.”

      I couldn’t have said it better; I don’t date bi women either bc I don’t want to put my mouth where some rando’s swimmers might be still be wriggling around. But I’m a lesbian. (Before I realized that I was gay, I had several relationships w/ men that only convinced me that I must be asexual. Thank God for the woman who shook me out of my straight stupor. The point is that I really can’t relate to women’s attraction to men, other than for reproductive purposes, & I don’t want to deal w/ women who do find men attractive. I want to keep my life as simple & gay as possible). Fox perplexes me. To my knowledge, “Jennifer’s Body” is as close as she has ever come to hooking up w/ a woman. For finding men so “nasty”, she seems to be obsessed w/ them; actions speak louder than words, so I AFAIC, she’s straight. And I can’t even watch a straight music video all of the way through bc I don’t find men the least bit erotic, & as a result, heterosexuality bores me to death. So I cannot imagine reading a book about Megan Fox’s trials & tribulations w/ men even if it’s recommended by a queer online publication.

      To cut to the chase, my number one gripe about women who identify as bi, queer, etc., is that they never seem to have relationships w/ women, so they always want to talk about men in supposedly queer spaces which irritates gay women, most of whom have test driven men, were not impressed & CNCL. Like me.

      When Megan Fox writes a poem about a woman, then I’ll happily read it. I dare not hold out hope that she will ever have. 80 poems full of reasons to whine about women.

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