Love & Canada: The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

For the past few months, and the past few weeks especially, I've been going along, filled with a vague sense of worry and uncertainty and the feeling that the next steps of my life are largely in someone else's hands (what's up immigration officials), and working basically all the time (I am normally very into my work, but this is something else) and not keeping up with friends and not sleeping all that well and doing none of the things my body normally needs to make it happy and at some point this weekend I just sort of cracked? What I mean to say is, when I woke up Saturday I was going to get a lot of stuff done and I was just pretty focused on that and by mid Sunday afternoon I had cried for about 12 of my weekend waking hours, of which there had not been many, because I kept needing to go to bed.

So Sunday afternoon and evening Shannon and I spent a few hours talking and powering through all my life feelings, and also through many of her life feelings, and just hanging out in th...

You've Reached A+ Content!

A+ Members support Autostraddle and keep most of our website free for everyone. Will you be the next awesome person to sign up? Memberships start at just $4 a month! That's why we publish special content like this, just for members, to thank those who give.

**Join A+!**

Where do A+ Member dollars go? First and most of all — the vast majority of support from readers pays our team and queer writers. When you pay for A+, your money becomes GAY and goes toward paying the LGBTQ humans who make Autostraddle possible. Your membership supports the kind, loving, hilarious, radical and challenging work you’re here for. Besides that, sometimes we need to mail things and pay for tech support and get some pens and stuff. ABOVE ALL, A+ Members help sustain Autostraddle and our future. Plus, A+ members get a direct line to the team, their advice questions answered anonymously, hot perks and their names enshrined in our gay hearts forever.

Did you know Cobalt Membership starts at just $1 a week? Every dollar matters when it comes to helping Autostraddle thrive, build queer community, and be here for the next person who needs us.

Join A+ Today!

Already a member? Sign in

Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1039 articles for us.