Lip Service Episode 105 Recap: Like a Strap-On Without the Strap

Hi! Welcome to the Lip Service Episode 105 recap, which I turned in about five days late. Just in time for the next episode to air! Some of these screencaps are from the Lip Service Fansite. Big up to those ladies. OKAY LET’S GET STARTED WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!


Heyyy Good morning Frankie!

Frankie is always Tumblr-Ready


Last night, in case you don’t remember after all that coke and booze, you slept with Jay, and Tess saw. Before getting out of her bed and sitting on its edge in her standard thinking-hard-about-my-life pose, Frankie takes some time to flick through some photos on her camera, which is a great way to remember what happened when you don’t remember what happened. Frankie sees a picture of Jay and um, remembers what happened. I hope she doesn’t get preggers, you know how men are.



And, in the age old tradition of this show, we are showed some early morning cunnilingus within the first 30 seconds, followed by Sam telling Cat that she loves her and Cat telling Sam that she has to go to work, which is slightly off topic.

This Almost Looks Like Dana Fairbanks Kissing Jill Bennett


So there you go. Sam loves Cat, and Cat likes that Sam loves her. At least Cat didn’t respond: “I think I could fall in love with you.”

So, Ed wrote an alien book about his unrequited love for Tess and Tess doesn’t realize it’s about her because she’s distracted by her fit neighbor — you know, the one who so far has no dialogue and is the only butch and/or woman of color on the show. Do you want to know how butch she is? She’ s an electrician, and she drives a truck! (Hot right)

I See You Baby. Shaking that Ass.


When Tess asks Frankie about her romp in the hay with Jay, Frankie delivers possibly the best line of the season, re: “having sex with a dude”

“What? It’s just like a strap-on without a strap!”

Tess tells Ed who promises not to tell anyone which means he will. Meanwhile Frankie and Jay have a pissing contest over who can be the bigger morning-after asshole and agree to pretend it never happened.

In happier news, Tess’s 30th birthday is coming up! In addition to the cowboys-and-indians themed surprise party he’s throwing together, Ed has made her a present to add to the towering pile of glaringly obvious evidence of his glaringly obvious love for her:

This is the picture I picked out for January, just wait til you see JUNE!….


Tess: Look at your pasty little chest.

Cat & Frankie snag a suspiciously convenient Important Architectural Assignment, which involves taking photos of their old high school so it can be converted into condos like Melrose Place.

Remember That Time You Said You Were a Falcon and Jumped off the Roof? That was Weird


They’re getting increasingly flirty with each other as the writers try to convince us that they were actually once a bona fide couple with chemistry (they’re actually mildly successful with this), resulting in lyrical gems such as:

Frankie: I remember it being even bigger than this.
Cat: I think we were just smaller. Well, I was.
Frankie: I remember you being pretty well developed.

So now we get it — Frankie is the hot bad girl, and Cat is the good girl, and together they probably have really important sex.

Smize For Me Baby


They scope out the places where they used to perv on each other from afar, where they met in detention and carved their initials into a door frame, and amidst all the distraction of the nostalgic montage where Frankie takes photos of Cat in hallways with the happy guitar music, they forget to put out a cigarette and properly smoke out an old classroom.

Remember the time the nuns told us we were all going to hell?


I Used to Have a Life Once


Tess is trying to get her life on track in time for her thirtieth and Ed is getting a big Literary Contract. This is highly upsetting for Tess because she wants to Make It Big, too, so she lies about having a gazillion auditions.

The Alley of Our Discontent


Sadie’s unimpressed with Frankie because when a girl gets high in the bath with you and then lets you watch her shave, that means forever. It’s like diamonds. But Frankie doesn’t invite Sadie in, so Sadie is sad. Also Sadie is getting progressively more good-looking, has anybody noticed that.

Rear-View Mirror Symbolism


Cat is having relationship issues with Sam ’cause Sam said I love you and Cat did not say it back. As Sam explains to her police partner while they’ re staking out a factory and doing other important police work:

“ Saying ‘ I love you’ is like a gun fight. If you draw first, you better not miss.”

Got that? Got it.

another scene where frankie doesn’t make out with anyone


In the land of family issues, Frankie follows the trail left by key chains and boxing gyms to a purdy little suburban block of flats, where the boy from the estate with the marijuana lives. Her uncle is there and he’ s angry, apparently about marijuana boy getting high with Frankie and Jay that one time. It’s a mystery, but maybe there’ s a connection to Frankie’ s past. “Who am I?” she thinks. “Am I Francesca? Am I Shane? Am I really really really good looking?” Really you can see the wheels turning in her brain, she’s thinking really hard.

Remember that incident with Jay and the Hot Intern and the ketamine in the bathroom? The big angry homophobic boss is giving Cat a hard time about it, and now she’ s gone and set a building on fire. Frankie sees her chance to get in Cat’ s good books/vaginal canal and ends up taking responsibility for everything, including the high intern. Such a Shaney move. She gets fired, obvs, and Cat looks good now b/c she warned her boss about Frankie.

Speaking of fire, Tess manages to lure the butchy electrician into her apartment on the premise of having blown a fuse of some sort. This seems like an ill-fated plan.

Yeah I think i have a spark plug up my vadge if you could fix it for me?


And yes, just as our Lesbelectrician gets into the apartment, Tess’s ex-girlfriend Chloe calls and Lesbelectrician picks up.

I’m K-K-Kinda Busy


Remember Chloe? She’s the Gabby Devoux of Lip Service and in the first episode she was giving her girlfriend head while Ed and Tess hid under the bed? Yeah she has big news for Tess, it’s heads-or-tails at this point if it’s going to be an engagement, a wedding, or a baby, or all three. And the potential New Girlfriend is outta there because ex-girlfriends are like anthrax.

It’s Friday, Tess’s birthday! THE BIG 3-0! LOOK AT THIS HAPPY FACE!

I wish there was an Autostraddle Meet-up in Glasgow so i could meet a new girlfriend


The special day has arrived! All of her friends have cleverly invented tales of work, concert tickets, etc., to convince her that nothing, absolutely NOTHING is happening on her birthday, not a cake, not some drinks, not a flat full of cowgirls and sexy Pocahontases, just a lonely thirty-year-old on her way to see her ex-girlfriend.

This would be a good moment to say “BUT I SLEPT WITH A TV STAR!”


Chloe doesn’t want to say happy birthday or anything, no, she just wants to flash her big fat engagement ring in Tess’ s face and recommend botox.

This is definitely the worst birthday in a while, but it gets worse. On top of the engaged ex, the turning thirty sans friends and the non-starter acting career, Tess decides to get some birthday botox and gets a teeny lil’ reaction to it which makes her face swell up so she looks like she’s taken a beating. Ouch.

Dirty Thirty


Ed chases down a teary, bruisy-eyed Tess and at the sight of her being upset and vulnerable, is overwhelmed with the need to express his unbridled, heterosexual love for her. He’s inspired by Frankie’s sexual fluidity.

Ed: I love you.
Tess: Aw, I love you too, Ed.
Ed: No, no. I love you like a man loves a woman.

Coincidentally, Tess wrote off being loved by a man like a man loves a woman about fifteen years ago. She takes this badly, because she’ s very emotional and now she thinks that the only reason Ed is friends with her is because he wants to get into her pants, and her pants are homosexual pants, and so she runs off towards home.

You know, home. Currently occupied by a lot of dressed-up, liquored-up gay people. Frankie is ostentatiously snogging Sadie, interspersed with dark, brooding looks in Cat’ s direction.

Cat looks supercute, and Sam makes a rather sexy sheriff.


Little do they know everything is about to go, horribly, horribly awry, or as they say in Glasgow, tits up. Becky struts right up to Frankie and asks if Sadie is the one who stole her necklace way back when. She throws in some gratuitous snark about how Cat is taken now which is interrupted by Ed calling to say Tess is on her way, though he leaves out that she’s in a really terrible mood.



They do the whole “SURPRISE!!” thing anyway, which sends Tess scurrying to her room to lie on her bed and lock the door, Angela Chase style. Ed rushes in after her and declares that he has declared his love. Then disaster strikes:

Jay: No wonder you never pull. You do realize she’ s gay?
Ed: Didn’t stop you with Frankie, did it?
Becky: Is that where you were the other night?

Hi I’m the Other Straight Guy On This Show


Becky is understandably upset/done. But so is Cat, who shoots Frankie a sad look across the room, like the look Carmen gave Shane when she brought home those two blondes. What a floozy.

But They Already Put You on the Cast Poster, There’s No Backing Out Now


Sadie’s no fool either ’cause she knows Frankie wants Cat, not her, so she pushes Frankie away from her and eventually leaves in tears.

Cat goes home with Sam to finally say “I love you” back, but in a way that we can tell is insincere. Not the best circumstances really.

I Won’t Be Left Dancing Alone To Songs From the Past


So, to sum up, Jay and Becky are breaking up, Frankie broke Cat’ s and Sadie’ s hearts, Tess is crying in her room and hates Ed, Becky hates Frankie, Jay hates Ed, Sam still deeply dislikes Frankie. Basically every character is crying or seriously pissed off just in time for the last episode! See you next week folks I MEAN TOMORROW BECAUSE I TURNED IN THIS RECAP SO LATE.

Next Week:

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    Actually, there’s one in 10 days. Tess, join the AutoScots!

  2. And with one line “I love you like a man loves a woman.”, Ed proved he was the biggest weasel on the show. Just when one thought Jay and Frankie had the crown, Ed says that crown is mine. And damn Ed…could you pick a time when she is more vulnerable. Hope Tess hooks up with the electrician. She is hot.

    I’d like to see Cat hook up with Sadie. Now there would be a shocking but fun twist.

    • Ed is a weasel, seriously?

      Look, Ed had the bad luck to fall in love with someone who can’t love him back, not that way. That’s happened to a lot of people, and it doesn’t make them weasels. He also clearly wanted to convey to Tess that she had valuable qualities and was loved, right when she was feeling useless and utterly alone, because he loves her and her being in that much pain and feeling so down on herself was killing him, just like standing by while the people Tess tried to go after shit on her or weren’t interested or whatever was killing him.

      Should he have said it? God no. He should have known it would blow up in his face, except people who are in love do and say stupid things. (I’m not a Tess/Ed shipper, I kind of want Lou to do something crazy like declare her love on TV and then come crawling back begging forgiveness and really stick to it this time.) But a weasel? And a worse weasel than Frankie or Jay? I don’t see that at all. It’s really a sad situation all around.

      • Yes Ed is a weasel. His actions were self-serving and he went for it when Tess was at her lowest. He acted like a dog. A real friend supports their friend. A real friend does not exploit the situation to get down the other person’s pants. Seems some people give Ed a break because he comes across as so passive. Don’t cut people slack for their actions when their actions are so cruel and so about themselves.

        As for the notion of Tess/Ed shippers, I did not know those existed. That seems to have no respect for Tess’s character and I am glad you are not one.

      • How can you not see that his language proves completely his weaselness? “Like a man loves a woman” is the most heteronormative ignorant thing he could have said to her. He is straight up devaluing her as a lesbian.

        • Wow, it looks like some people are carrying some serious baggage. “Devaluing her as a lesbian”? Didn’t we just get numerous prior scenes where Ed feels her out for hints that it MIGHT be ok w/ her to sleep with a dude (she wouldn’t be the first lesbian in the world to do that, nor would she be the first lesbian on this show) – he’s not DEVALUING her as anything, he’s instead trying to tell her at her lowest point that she IS valued, to the greatest extent that someone CAN be. “Like a man loves a woman” may SEEM heteronormative (I’d argue it’s a really shittily written line of dialogue), but in the moment he’s trying to get his point across – he has feelings for her that are love not just as a friend but as MORE than a friend. Maybe he could have said “as more than a friend,” but she wasn’t entirely getting his point. Was he maybe trying to get in her pants? Perhaps. Didn’t seem like it during the scene itself. But he’d been building up to it for 5 episodes, and looking for a good time to talk to her, and YES it was a shitty time, but as has been mentioned people in love often have awful timing or do things that seem inappropriate (but aren’t intended as such). Tess is clueless, and that’s ok – there are plenty of clueless people out there. But Ed wasn’t trying to take advantage of her nor was he challenging her lesbianism. They discussed Frankie’s tete a tete with Jay and Tess seemed to think 1) that genitals are irrelevant and 2) that if someone has feelings for someone, they should come out and say it. She said BOTH those things TO ED. It’s perfectly reasonable (if a little naive) that he’d want to confess his feelings to her. Did he pick a bad time? Yes. Was he being an ass? No.

  3. Frankie’s a jerk, but I like her.

    Also, on a side note, is it just me or are Becky and Chloe also not “women of colour”?

  4. Don’t you just KNOW Frankie is gonna be immediately crossed my mind. Doesn’t bode well for the next generation…

  5. What? I thought Cat was sincere when she told Sam she loved her.
    Oh hold on, I have to go muzzle my confirmation bias.

  6. I kind of hate Frankie. Every week I try to care about her, and her family life, and how she used be have lots and lots of sex with Cat, but I just can’t. Also, it irritates the hell out of me that she will inevitably break up Cat and Sam, who btw I LOVE.

    Also, did anyone else check out Frankie’s shirt during b-day party from hell? Her shirt had an effing Confederate flag on it!

  7. i was in this episode of lip service, milling about in the background at the party because my friend is a friend of one of the producers and they wanted REAL LESBIANS to make it authentic. all i remember about the day was that it was FREEZING cold and i nearly died but then the hot cop saved my life by lending me her hot water bottle. it was a very special moment.

  8. The character of Cat is somewhat annoying. Everything she does seem to be passive and related to Frankie. She says “I Love You” to Sam BECAUSE Frankie slept with Jay and broke her heart again. She gives Sam head BECAUSE she is feeling guilty about still carrying a torch for Frankie. Basically she is nice to her current girlfriend because of her ex-girlfriend. I am not exactly camp SamCat but isn’t what she does is unfair to Sam?

  9. For the record, the sixth (season finale) episode is available on youtube. I’m about 2/5ths through, but there’s a huge spoiler in the related videos that made me punch my laptop. So maybe waiting for the megavideo link would be more advisable.

  10. And since we are doing our civic duty to inform of ways to obtain the finale. Folks can also Google “lip service S01E06 stagevu” (copy and paste this exact phrase), you will get to download or stream the entire thing in high quality without any issue. I know cuz I just got the whole thing on my laptop hard drive to keep. ;P

    On an unrelated note, I honestly don’t know why I am keeping all the episodes of this, cuz it’s not that excellent of a The Walking Dead on the other hand, is something I’ve no regret keeping. lol.

  11. The last episode was good (and sexy!) – it redeemed the dodgy earlier episodes.

    It’s now available on DVD (on… hopefully ships internationally).

  12. Pingback: So, I Let a Guy Fuck Me | HOLAAfrica!

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