“Legends of Tomorrow” Episode 502 Recap: Never Trust a Big Butt and Smile

Bugsy comes in and insults the stranger he sees on his club stage but Sara snaps at him and tells this 40s mob boss that it’s her girlfriend, for no reason other than that it was her instinct to defend her lady.

sara scolds benjamin

“You listen to me, wise guy, that dame is the love of my life and I won’t be hearin’ nothing else of it, yasee? Now scram, before I snap my cap.”

She looks him square in the eye and tells him that she’s going to stop him. He of course doesn’t believe this smol girl could outsmart him, let alone outmatch him, so he pulls his gun, but the gun on his person isn’t the magic gun.

sara is delighted

Sara is just having the best time. And frankly, so am I.

And he pays for underestimating her with his consciousness.

Also, side note, Sara lets Ava finish her debaucherous performance before they leave.

Ava drunkenly sings on stage

You’re doing amazing, sweetie!

Back in 2044, Nate finds a magazine with a young Zari on it, and we learn that her dragon made little Zari famous at 11, and the strong-willed girl had no choice but to take control of her life and turn that fame she never asked for into a career she curated. Zari uses Nate’s dopiness and openness and attraction to her and almost gets him to admit that Behrad has been lying about business school and the air totem.

Zari seduces Nate

She might care more about her image now, but our Zari is still smart as a whip.

But then Behrad interrupts and says it’s time to cut the cake.

Back in the 1940s, Constantine figures out where Bugsy is keeping his blackmail photos, and takes Jeanie to find them…though not without schtupping her first. (Which I felt good about. I like having at least one messy bisexual on the show at all times, and now that Sara has Ava, and Charlie is MIA, the role was open.)

Once they find the blackmail stash, before Constantine can burn it, Jeanie reveals that she’s the one who swapped the magic gun for a real gun, and she has the obliterator now. She wants the stash so she can take over as mob boss in Bugsy’s place. She’s tired of being taken advantage of, and she wants to turn the tables. At first Constantine tries to talk her down, but then he realizes that it’s not his choice to make. So he hands her the blackmail folder and she hands him the gun and they go their separate ways.

Jeanie looks sad as she leaves

You deserved better, babe.

Except Ray had been duped and Sullivan was actually a bad guy and he and his guys rigged Jeanie’s car to explode, right in front of Constantine’s face.

And my question is…has this ever happened before? Have they ever straight-up lost someone they were supposed to be helping? I know they’ve lost Legends and friends before, but has a victim-of-the-week ever DIED? I can’t tell if this is meant to up the stakes for this season, or if this was meant to be a lesson for Constantine; if you don’t try to lead a person (read: Astra) to do better, and instead just leave them to their own dubious devices, they will die in a fiery pit of flames? I’m not sure but I’ll be interested to see if this death impacts anyone in the future—namely Sara, who was ostensibly in charge of this mission—because it sure didn’t seem to affect Ray as much as I would have thought. In fact, his arrival on the scene with the steering wheel he was cuffed too dangling by his side almost seemed played for laughs, which would have been a bit out of character for Legends, and for Ray.

Anyway, back up on the Waverider, Sara is getting the holding cell outfitted for its brand new mobster.

Sara looks impressed with her work

“Well would you look at that! I put on my gayest pants and I fixed the holding cell.”

But before she can put Bugsy in his cozy new home, Constantine comes and takes him to hell.

Sara watches Constantine go

“All this bopping back and forth is really taking the fun out of the phrase, ‘Go to hell.'”

Constantine uses his magic gun to obliterate everyone in his way until he gets to Astra, who remains unflappable in the face of Constantine’s rampage. He points the gun at her but she just looks up at him, almost bored, knowing he won’t do it.

Astra looks evilly at the camera

Is she looking directly into anyone else’s soul or am I hexed now?

He puts the gun down and says he won’t give up on her, not this time. She calls him soft, and to prove that softness has nothing to do with why he didn’t shoot her, he shoots Bugsy into hell dust.

When he gets back to the ship and explains that they don’t have the magic gun that can kill the unkillable Encores, Sara is only mildly annoyed. Ray is proud that he didn’t kill Astra.

Ava stumbles in, proud of her epic performance, and rambling about how much she loves Sara not having responsibilities.

Ava swigs a beer

The way she was slinging around that stolen beer was comedy gold.

Sara is so amused by her girlfriend being the sloppy one of the group for the first time, assures her that there’s no such thing as a small role on the Waverider, and gently strokes her hair as she passes out. “Night night, sweetheart.”

Sara smiles down at her sleeping angel of a gf

A great assassin. An even better girlfriend. Who’da thunk.

As Nate and Behrad are getting ready to leave 2044, Zari confronts them about having been at Heyworld 24 years ago and yet looking the same age right now. Zari is extremely suspicious, and knows that he probably also has the air totem, and is about to march off and tell her parents when Behrad opens a time portal in her path so she ends up on the Waverider. She looks around at this unfamiliar place full of unfamiliar people and she. is. SHOOK.

zari points confusedly

“Who are all you peop—good LORD that woman is attractive.”

Much to the confused faces of the Legends, Zari just screams for help.

See you next week, when we end up in an 80s slasher film, and if my dreams come true, Charlie will stroll in and be like, “Sup Z?” as if nothing had changed.

Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Valerie Anne

Just a TV-loving, Twitter-addicted nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories. One part Kara Danvers, two parts Waverly Earp, a dash of Cosima and an extra helping of my own brand of weirdo.

Valerie has written 566 articles for us.

7 Comments

  1. Favorite captioned screenshots: 4,5 (I KNOW), 7, Last two!
    The way Caity Lotz can switch on que from commanding top (with her team) to seductive controlling bottom (when she husked her voice for the mob villain) is a GIFT!
    Tala Ashe is so attractive. So HOT. I don’t know why I never noticed this before. Maybe because she’s gone femme this episode.

  2. Favorite line of the episode is when Zari is screaming for help and Ava sings with a slur “That girl is poison”.

  3. loved this episode but I can’t believe they are denying us Charlie! I hope whatever timey wimey hijinks she is up to are revealed to us soon.

    • From what I’ve seen on twitter, Charlie’s only missing because her actress was working on another project while they were filming the first few episodes. I’m hoping that won’t mean that they just brush off her absence, but at least it’s not driven by the writers!

  4. Hi did you know I love Avalance very very much???? They were PERFECTION in this episode. They’re just so CUTE together and they really bring out the best in each other.

    I hadn’t thought about if the Legends have lost a victim of the week before, but that’s a really good point. The closest I can remember is when Nate’s grandfather died, I think in the moon landing episode? Usually when they lose someone, it’s a pretty big deal (except for Rip Hunter, and except when Sara’s dad died on Arrow and no one even mentioned it on Legends).

    Where! Is! Charlie!

  5. Ava drank so much that the fourth wall got beer goggles.

    ——–

    This new Zari is intriguing… she’s like the inverse reciprocal of the last Zari we saw. Sharp wit behind a well crafted facade. I look forward to her arc this season, as long as there is more to it than her and Nate “reconnecting”. Love that transcends realities is Iris and Barry’s thing.

    ——–

    I think I know where Charlie is; she’s at a support group with Nia, Alex, Kelly, and Grace for interesting characters who don’t get enough screen time.

  6. “Sara is so amused by her girlfriend being the sloppy one of the group for the first time, assures her that there’s no such thing as a small role on the Waverider, and gently strokes her hair as she passes out. “Night night, sweetheart.”’

    *Sigh* These are the ‘Girlfriend Shenanigans’ that fill my bubbly squishy bits. *Sigh*

Comments are closed.