This year’s lesbian Christmas movie slate includes a new indie feel-good holiday romcom Last Exmas — available for purchase on VOD — directed by Sarah Rotella and written by Adrianna DiLonardo of Almost Adults fame. We viewed the trailer and decided that we’d all get together as a family (virtually), eat weed gummies, turn on the film and chat to each other about it on Slack. Today we are here to share our thoughts with you. Most of them are about the movie we were watching!

Okay so here’s the basic plot: Last Exmas is a lesbian Christmas movie about the torrid romance between Maggie and Jules. They were secret girlfriends in high school but Maggie always wanted to keep Jules a secret. Also Maggie was rich and Jules was not rich and they went to different schools, but they were gonna apply to the same colleges, but then they didn’t. So then it’s ten years later and they’re both coming home for the holidays after not coming home for the holidays for a long time!

Now, Jules is the youngest chef on the Lower East Side and Maggie is a successful actress in Los Angeles who has been in a car commercial. Maggie has been through a lot of relationships and most recently was dumped by a famous musician named Vi. Jules’ Mom Tina owns a diner and Jules is in town to help with the “reno.”

It’s a very small town and everybody in the town is deeply invested in convincing Maggie and Jules to get back together, especially Lola (a particularly charming performance by Raven Maducdoc). Okay now here we go!

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Drew: Elise made cookies. I’m so happy.

Kayla: I did not know this would be historical fiction about the year 2015.
Riese: A period piece!
Drew: Did I miss a title card or is it their clothes
Riese: The banner said “happy new year 2015”
Drew: Oh lmao. Nothing gets by you two.

Riese: The song playing at this party feels like it’s an instrumental version of HEY YA
Drew: HEY YA omg
Riese: Like weirdly. Do you see what I mean? Like a whale new age version?

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Drew: Kissing early is a good sign. I thought this was going to be like Hallmark and they’d only kiss once at the end. I’m thrilled.

Riese: They’re talking about college applications? Are they supposed to be in high school?
Kayla: Kristen also just also asked if they’re in high school.

Riese: Wait why is she lying to this girl in the hallway about being in there with her girlfriend?
Kayla: She’s closeted?
Riese: Why are they talking about cheerleaders?
Drew: She’s just only dating cheerleaders?
Riese: What’s going on sorry I was thinking about whales
Kayla: She’s closeted about dating a vague butch????
Because she’s a… loser?
Drew: They’re in different social circles. This is basically Normal People.
Riese: Ok the song doesn’t sound like “hey ya” anymore
Drew: It does not.

Riese: “I’M GOING TO CULINARY SCHOOL” wow
Kayla: Her culinary career is more important than her relationship

[Maggie says Jules doesn’t care enough about what people think of her “and that’s why you look like that.”]

Drew: “Look like that”? Hot??
Riese: What’s wrong with how she looks? She looks like every person I have ever known.
Drew: I kind of like that instead of doing the 90’s thing of giving the hot girl glasses and braces and curly hair, they just gave her a beanie.

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Kayla: Why is direct address happening? From multiple characters???
Riese: It’s a genre mix up

Drew: I love the Prom Queen To Car Commercial pipeline
Riese: “Mom it’s not called tinseltown anymore”
Drew: I still call it tinseltown.
Kayla: Oh ok, ten years have passed???
Drew: Why did I think this movie had time travel? I might not know what we’re watching.
Riese: Every time i tried to google this movie, google thought i really wanted to google “last exams”
Drew: Not the last exams! Pressure is on.

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Riese: So this is Maggie’s first time home since she moved to LA?
Kayla: Ever????
Drew: In ten years.
Kayla: This was my mother’s fear when I moved to LA too.
Riese: Oh her return is on the front page of the newspaper! I’m impressed they are maintaining a local newspaper. Support local journalism!
Kayla: Kristen has questions about where we are geographically.
Riese: They’re giving Maggie a key to the city just for coming home for Christmas? Nobody has ever given me a key to a city.

Drew: I think this is on purpose camp? Like the key to the city for a car commercial is funny. It’s a comedy. Like Down with Love.
Kayla: Drew that’s so generous I feel
Riese: I would be so pissed if I came home and my mom was like “you’re getting a key ceremony this afternoon.” Just out of the blue.
Drew: I wouldn’t. I want the key.
Riese: I would want to be warned so I could prepare and have a cute outfit ready.
Drew: But it’s great news.
Riese: That’s true maybe my panic at a last-minute invite would be balanced by the joy of getting the key.
Drew: Gimme the key to Oak Park, Californai! Heal my trauma with popularity
Riese: I feel like someone already has the key to Ann Arbor, Michigan

[Googles]

Riese: Hm apparently not. Could be me.

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Kayla: Are we in Canada?
Drew: Omg my people!
Riese: We aren’t in tinseltown?
Drew: No, she’s back home from tinseltown.

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Riese: There’s like five people at this key ceremony. I would be sad if this was how many people came to my key ceremony.
Drew: Lovers to enemies to lovers. One of the best tropes.
Riese: Lovers to keyholders.
Kayla: Oh her ex is also getting a key to the city. You know what happens when you and your ex both get a key to the city…

Riese: NOW KISS
Kayla: WHY IS THE KEY SO SMALL
“WHAT DOES IT OPEN” – Kristen
Drew: They share??
Riese: It opens a little diary. My diary, maybe.
Kayla: They’re so mad at each other. Would they really hate each other this much a decade later?
Riese: If I suddenly was sharing a key with my ex i think we would be nicer to each other.
Drew: Some people hold grudges
Riese: Well some people should stop it!
Kayla: Lesbian Christmas movies do love toxic dynamics. I rewatched Happiest Season and was like, “this only makes sense if they’re 19 years old.”
Drew: Maybe they’re just Scorpio4Cancer.

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Kayla: What’s going on??
Riese: If i was at a diner right now i would get grilled cheese and french fries and a pickle and a soda pop.

Drew: I love stories about kids trying to get their parents to fall in love. I just watched The Perfect Christmas. Oh also Billboard Dad.

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Kayla: Was Maggie’s friend clipping her toenails on FaceTime?
Drew: I’m actually really not a sex with exes person. When I’m done I’m done.
Kayla: Same.
Drew: If I’m going to return to someone from my past, it’ll be an unfulfilled crush not an ex.
Riese: I have had sex with exes. Sometimes years later.

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Kayla: I once again have to ask what’s happening on our screens
Riese: They’re at Tender Moments. Shopping for candles and scarves.

Drew: My best friend just filmed a car commercial lmaooo
I need them to watch this.

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Riese: I like the crossing guard bit.
Drew: This is camp! It’s stylized! It’s comedy!

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Drew: They’re going to have sex. Thrilled for them and us.
Riese: What state is this?
Drew: Canada
Kayla: Is it Canada?
Riese: I love Canada.
Kayla: YOU SMELL LIKE FISH?????
Riese: That’s such a rude thing to say to somebody who works at a restaurant that serves fish.
Drew: ???
Kayla: Why are they so aggroooo
Drew: I really love Christmas you guys

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Riese: For a moment I was like “what if they pause on the upside down Santa Claus forever.” Do you ever think that, like “what if this moment is going to last forever?” Because I mean in the moment…. how can we know it won’t??
Drew: No because I know it won’t.
Riese: Okay, Drew knows

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Kayla: “Why are you shitting on Florida when these are the only two restaurants in town” – Kristen
Riese: That dish of Jules’ that she just talked shit about sounds good actually. I would eat it currently.
Kayla: That IS a pizza pocket but yeah sounds good

Drew: I love a scheming friend.
Kayla: Why is Lola meddling what’s at stake for her
Drew: The chaos. Love of the game.
Riese: She just loves love I think.

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Drew: Oh that guy who was eating should get an Oscar
Kayla: 100%

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Kayla: Are they caroling in drag? Is that their family tradition?
Drew: Beautiful

Kayla: What are they collecting funds for
Drew: I was so confused who that was. And then I realized it was Maggie in drag.
Kayla: “Drag” in a Canadian accent is so satisfying
Riese: Wait I get that it was filmed in Canada, but it doesn’t take place in Canada? Or does it?
Drew: She looked hot with the mustache. She should stick with it
Kayla: I feel like this flag was outside the building where the key ceremony was. So I think we’re in Canada British Columbia specifically.
Drew: I love setting. Right up there with plot and character.

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Kayla: OYSTERS SWEATSHIRT
Riese: I was gonna say I love this sweatshirt
Drew: I want that sweatshirt
Kayla: I’m struggling with this mom but I’m not struggling with the oysters sweatshirt
Riese: I can’t with this Mom trying to get Jules to get back together with Maggie. Everybody is so meddling.
Drew: Have either of you seen The Meddler? It stars Susan Sarandon

Riese: If my mom started talking to me about being lonely and using a vibrator and then running out of vibrator batteries, i would perish on the spot
Kayla: The mom seems like an alien pretending to be a human mother.

Kayla: So has chef never had another girlfriend?
Drew: She was focusing on her career.

Kayla: I do love the music in movies like this. It’s always adjacent to a song.

Drew: Ooo a twist.
Kayla: DADDY JOE
Riese: I love joe

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Drew: This is hot. I love enemies to lovers.

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Kayla: A lot of vibrator jokes in this film
Riese: The chef is cute. I like her big tee.
Drew: Extremely cute.

Kayla: But she’s wearing a BEANIE so she can’t be COOL
Drew: People being mean is hot I’m sorry. I’m not proud.
Kayla: Lovers to enemies to coworkers

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Riese: Sorry what is happening i left to get a string cheese
Drew: She got hired at the diner
Due to blackmail

Riese: Is this like seasonal temp work?
Kayla: She has a job at the diner
Riese: I thought she was a famous actress
Drew: Car commercials don’t pay like they used to. The switch to streaming fucked over all the actors.
Riese: Hmmm
Drew: This is commentary on that I think.
Riese: I’m sorry but Maggie is B O R I N G and Jules deserves better!

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Kayla: Wait if it’s 10 years after 2015… this takes place in 2025.
Riese: Oh man, this is the future?
Kayla: It’s the future. It’s sci-fi.
Drew: Exactly. It’s just gonna get worse for actors

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Riese: “unlike you i have a life” always felt weak to me tbh as a thing
When people are like “you don’t have a life” I am like ……. ok so what
Drew: Make outttttt
Kayla: Everyone has a life
Riese: Yeah like by definition
Drew: It’s the QUALITY of the life that counts
Riese: That’s so true drew

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Riese: Oh they’re trapped together! I love it when people are trapped in things.
Kayla: Oh yeah this is a good trope
Riese: Once I wrote a play about all of the laundry being trapped in the dryer. The characters were like, SHIRT, PANTS, etc. You can imagine it was pretty funny.

Kayla: USE YOUR LESBIAN STRENGTH
Drew: What did I just watch where this happened? People were trapped.
Kayla: USE YOUR LESBIAN STRENGTH WAS SAID AGAIN
Drew: Oh the Cruel Intentions TV show. That show could’ve used more of this energy tbh
Kayla: This is Yellowjackets.

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Riese: Maybe they’ll find Scatttergories in one of those boxes in the basement.
Drew: Oh I love Scattegories. They should play Strip Scattegories.
Kayla: 10 year old booze that was open would not taste good.

Drew: Make out make out make out
Riese: I’m glad people are still wearing baggy things in 2025 because I will be and i like to be on trend.
Drew: I have only been in one trapped situation like this. It did not end well.

Kayla: We all played Scattegories together remember
Riese: Yes, me and Drew won.
Drew: We did!
Riese: But we tied so we had to have a face-off. It was thrilling.
Drew: You won the tie.
Riese: Everybody was thrilled. Not just me and Drew. Everybody had a great time and was so happy.

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Kayla: Was Lola gonna say “scissored”?

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Drew: Okay what’s crazy is this movie kind of happened to me. My prom date’s friends told her that I wasn’t cool enough to go to prom with her and if she went with me and not Landon she couldn’t come in their limo so she called me and canceled and I never went to prom.

I was just a straight boy at the time. So it was heterosexual. So sometimes it’s not the queerness that’s the problem, it’s the perceived coolness.

Riese: Sort of like Ross in Friends when he was gonna take Rachel and then he walks down the stairs looking sad.
Drew: Except not exactly. Because she said yes to me first and was excited about it.
Riese: Ok details. But you have curly hair and so did Ross at the time.

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Kayla: Another song that sounds like a song.
Riese: I wrote this song.
Kayla: You did a good job Riese.

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Riese: I like to print out one pic with an ex and keep it on hand for nostalgia.
Drew: It’ll be a thing in 2025

Kayla: I thought she was holding tickets to Wicked: Part 2. I was so jealous.
Drew: Omg
Riese: Yeah if this was really 2025 everybody would be talking about Wicked: Part 2
Kayla: These characters do exist in the time of Wicked: Part 2.
Drew: They’ve probably seen it.
Kayla: Lola definitely has seen it.
Riese: Lola has a souvenir popcorn tub.
Drew: They also know what a second Trump presidency is like.
Riese: They seem fine?
Kayla: They seem pretty chill about global politics
Riese: Yeah
Kayla: Maybe everything fixes itself in 2025.
Riese: Nobody has mentioned tariffs.
Kayla: I suppose they are in Canada.
Riese: Trump wants to put tarrifs on Canada.
Drew: But they have Wicked in Canada.
Kayla: I have always wondered if they have Wicked in Canada.

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Riese: Penny [our dog] is really upset about something.
Kayla: 2025?

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Drew: Woah I just realized the chef has Kristen Stewart’s voice.
Kayla: Oh you’re right.
Drew: Gay voice.

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Kayla: SCISSORING ref

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Riese: “It’ll be a while a long while” Is Jules’ Mom going to the back of the diner to masturbate?
Drew: She’s going to the back to give her daughter and Maggie  a chance to fuck. Very kind.
They’re doing it! Rooting for these kids.
WTF why did the mom come back after that whole thing??
Kayla: Everything the mom says…..perplexing.
Drew: It was a trap. Trap. Great movie.
Kayla: Love Josh Hartnett. My wife’s favorite man

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Drew: I’m gonna go get another cookie hope I don’t miss anything.

Riese: I never hold up a shirt. I put it on. And if I don’t like then I take it off and put on a different shirt.
Kayla: Yeah because you can’t know what it actually looks like if it’s not on

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Kayla: Tube tops are back in 2025?
Drew: Okay I could hear but not see were there any visual gags in the last ten seconds?
Riese: I was here but in another way, not here at all

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Kayla: We’re only on December 21???
Drew: I honestly think this movie is really well lit.

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Riese: Who is this girl in her room? Is this her guardian angel?
Kayla: Wait who is this
Riese: Oh her ex
Kayla: ANOTHER EX????

Riese: She is like me I think… a multitude of exes.
Drew: I’m jealous. I wish I had more exes. I just have two big ones. And a third little one but that one is in Belgium so we don’t cross paths.
Riese: The thing about having a ton of exes is that you get like, a lot of negative feedback about your personality.
Drew: LMAO

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Riese: EVERY TIME THEIR PHONE BUZZES i think it’s my phone. This is probs what Twisters 4DX is like.
Drew: You have your buzz on?
Riese: No. That makes it even crazier.
Kayla: Woah this movie should be in 4DX.
Riese: Yeah if it was snowing on me right now i’d feel better.
Drew: I’m eating cookies so

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Kayla: Interesting vest choice happening.
Drew: Does it work? I can’t decide.

Riese: I’m glad this vest is back in style.
Kayla: Are vests part of 2025?

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Riese: I made chili last night so I think we can have that tonight.
Drew: I love leftovers. And the tv show The Leftovers.
Riese: I hate leftovers! But I love The Leftovers.
Drew: It’s food for free. No money or labor. It’s just there.
Riese: I like leftover pasta and soup but I can’t do leftover meat because of food poisoning trauma.
Drew: Second day brisket in a sandwich yummmm

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Riese: Is everyone gay in this town??
Kayla: A lot happening here

Drew: Hmmm the chef isn’t a Scorpio because they made a point about someone else being a Scorpio.
Kayla: I have a ring pop.

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Drew: This should end with a throuple. Remember when The L Word had a throuple? What a beautiful moment. Almost made Gen Q worth it.

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Kayla: Club sandwich sighting

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Drew: I am very into Jules being like a very serious chef who makes diner food. I bet it’s so good.
Riese: She should elevate it or deconstruct it.
Drew: Remember when the fad was deconstructing salads? Like here’s a head of lettuce with dressing on top and a big knife
Kayla: That sounds like a wedge salad.
Drew: Is that what they’re called?
Riese: Yes that’s what I was typing.
Drew: Ohhh no. Like sort of but not exactly. It was longer. Like a caesar salad. But long.

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Riese: Kayla, does [your wife] Kristen ever sit one seat away from her ex with you in the middle and say “i wrote a novel, a bestseller”
Kayla: Lmao that really is something that almost could happen

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Drew: # CARPE FUCKING DIEM is on the wall
Riese: That’s the same banner they had at New Years Eve.

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Riese: She’s pretending they’re not exes?
Did you see the Lindsay Lohan movie?
Drew: The Canyons?
Riese: No the new one.
Kayla: The Christmas one.
Drew: Oh no not yet

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Riese: Holy shit. She’s going on a long tour.
Drew: This is going to ruin the tour.
Riese: What tour?
Drew: The world tour.

Riese: Why is Maggie hesitating about going with her on tour? This is a free trip to Europe and Asia!! A one year free trip!!
Drew: I would go even if I didn’t like my ex.
Riese: Well i guess she hasn’t asked if there would be a per diem.
Drew: True.

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Riese: Are there no dads in this film?
Kayla: How is the dead dad representation?
Riese: Really touching
Kayla: Wait, did you write this movie?
Riese: Are there any men in this movie?
Oh the crossing guard.
Kayla: Joe and her dad
Drew: The guy who was eating
Riese: Wasn’t the guy who was eating Joe the crossing guard?
Drew: Oh yeah. All the same guy.

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Drew: Maggie’s parents gave her $5000 !!! I could really use $5000 if anyone was wondering what to get me.
Riese: How about a gift card to Target?

Drew: What is the message here?? To give up on your dreams??

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Riese: What are they doing
Drew: I think the wrong one is apologizing.
Kayla: PROPOSAL?
Riese: Oh wow ok Vi is proposing even though Jules is right there

Drew: Nooooooo
Kayla: Now grandma is meddling???
Drew: Wow
Kayla: Omg this is mean to this Vi girl
Riese: This is so mean of Grandma to say they don’t belong together, like that is a private thing you can say for later!.

Drew: Wouldn’t it be crazy if they had a huge car chase right now?
Kayla: They basically are
Drew: In a Uhaul!

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Riese: Wow i just totally zoned out.
Drew: Omg crossing guard !!
Kayla: Joe really is the star

Riese: I don’t care for this honestly.
Drew: I do.
Hiding the most gorgeous woman because she wears a beanie sometimes. This is kind of like an Edith Wharton novel.

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Kayla: Maggie’s sister really loves bullying her about her many exes.

Drew: Throuple! That’s what I said! FaceTime friend understands.
Kayla: Throuple of the three most boring lesbians on the planet.

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Riese: Oh Maggie came back and now she will make a Love Confession In Front of Everyone, that’s nice

Drew: It’s good to be ambitious wtf. You can be proud of your partner and in love but still be ambitious.
Kayla: It should be like two years that passed, not ten.
Riese: I feel like everyone who made this movie had fun and felt good
Drew: That’s so important.

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Kayla: ONE YEAR LATER omg it’s 2026
Riese: Oh god
Kayla: Is this an adaptation of Matrix by Lauren Groff

Riese: Well.
Kayla: So that’s the end.
Riese: I have to be honest I did not follow
Drew: They ended up together forever
Riese: That’s so nice for them.
Drew: And they live in New York. Like me.

Riese: This song is incredible. Someone really got their Casio out for this.
Drew: I can’t believe I thought this movie had time travel.
Kayla: It did in a way. We all traveled to 2025 and then to 2026.
Drew: That’s true. And vests were back.