JoJo Siwa’s ‘Karma’ Music Video Recap: Lesbian Lothario Lost at Sea

We have gathered here today to briefly recap the events that took place in JoJo Siwa‘s allegedly hotly anticipated music video “Karma,” which is about a bitch named Karma and also about going under the sea, which is a location where we got no troubles because life is the bubbles.

We open, as so many sea mammals do, in the wide expanse of a computer-generated ocean, miles of dark water separating our symbolic raft from a sliver of shore, glimmering in the distant horizon, full of promise, menace and the specter of rhinestone. The sky is haunted by menacing clouds. The island, for some reason, only grows palm trees in two distinct sections with the middle carved out like when Moses parted the Red Sea.

island in the ocean

On the shores of Shutter Island we find JoJo Siwa, a bad girl who has done some bad things, like paint a tar-colored line from the middle of her chest to her throat:

JoJo Siwa on the shore looking extra

It’s giving Bette Porter in noteable L Word episode “Land Ahoy” (2005)!

bette porter dress

Anyhow, JoJo explains that the bad things she did “never happened” and “they were a secret,” just like when Shaggy’s girlfriend caught him red handed creeping with the girl next door. So now JoJo is on her island pathway with a girl who is wearing the same thing she wore to skate to “Black Velvet” in Ice Capades ’88. There is some mounting and face sucking going on:

jojo and girl making out on an island

okay just tilt your head *slightly* to the side and I can get the spinach out

As JoJo recalls “another late night” and “another crazy mood” we transition to an Olivia Cruise, a vessel populated by a mixed bag of dancers dressed for a Death and Other Details White Party, complete with martini glasses of CGI water, go-go boots, cocked hips, knee socks and JoJo Siwa hooking up on a bench in the background.

girls at a party

Now THAT’S what I call Music!

“And I didn’t think twice what it would do to you,” JoJo sings, which I believe is an apology to everybody who’s ever been cut off in traffic by the Jojomobile. As she muses about being a “wild child,” an actor giving strong Lindsay Lohan vibes holds her nail to her mouth, gazing in JoJo’s direction. JoJo cannot resist this temptation! So many hotties sparkling with such vivid incandescence! So much screensaver energy!

girl with hand on mouth

Hmmm, just one Irish Wish?

JoJo siwa looking backwards

Those kids are after me lucky charms

Then! JoJo remembers #1 New York Times Bestseller book The Bible, except she remembers it only a little bit and not the whole way. “Thou shall not lie,” says JoJo Siwa, wearing bedazzled maxi-pads on both shoulders. “Thou shall not cheat,” JoJo continues. Ok

threesome

Tell me where you hid the money or your little friend gets her neck cracked!

“Thou shall not get caught,” JoJo sings and then the music stops, our heartbeats quicken in the air of night, and the world slows down JoJo thinks about her life (girls) and her choices (making out with girls).

“Or you’ll end up just like me!” JoJo warns. What does it mean to end up just like JoJo Siwa? Does it mean having a Nacho machine in your kitchen??? No, it means CARTWHEELS!!!!!

jojo cartwheeling for her life

HEY OOOOO

“Karma’s a bitch, I should’ve known better,” JoJo continues, doing her dance with all the backup dancers, some of whom are going to fall off that ship if they don’t get down from there.

“If I had a wish, I would’ve never effed around,” says JoJo Siwa. I understand that she is avoiding the word “fuck” but you know, “frack” is right there.

JoJo with her fist in the air

CAPTAIN PLANET POWER

“When I saw the pics of you and her I felt the knife twist,” JoJo Siwa sings, which makes me think about that time that Eve stabbed Villanelle in the gut instead of making out with her, but JoJo is probably thinking about Prince Charming’s Regal Carrousel. Then everybody grabs their crotch and that is between them and God. Then everyone howls at the moon like wolves:

WHO CAN SEE THE ECLIPSE

“Karma is a bitch,” says a now-wistful JoJo, full of regret. Lyndzee Lohan watches JoJo Siwa as she does the only thing one can do after effing around, which is give yourself to the sea!

Tell me it was me all along, tell me it was always me

No

Byeeeeeeeee

Now JoJo has been banished to the bottom of the sea, like the ring that the little old lady threw into the ocean at the end!

JoJo Siwa underwater

“Shе is a good girl, I think she’s boring (Boring),” says JoJo. Now she is talking trash about whomstever the girl she lost is currently dating. “Believe me, twenty minutes later, you’ll be snoring.” Rude!

Despite her evaluation of the Other Girl as as total snooze, JoJo admits that it still kills her to know that the girl hooked up with her, and “now the universe is giving me what I deserve.”

What does JoJo deserve? To be wearing the KISS outfit again like a dark clown!

jojo creeeping out of the water

Anybody wanna grab some cheeseburgers and explore the great beyond

Now Dark JoJo is dancing with her team right there in the water, like when Tom Holland did “Umbrella” on the Lip Sync Battle, which was iconic. As she repeats a verse we’ve already discussed, her dancers lift her in the air and then they change their minds and put her back on the ground.

lifting JoJo Siwa

Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Hava nagila ve-nismeḥa!

Hark! Red Danger girl is back, having crawled her way to shore like an alligator to inspire JoJo to make bad life choices!

liftoff

I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD

I would like to say that this move is very familiar to me because one time Cindy Scavia did this to me in her basement — like she lifted me up with her feet and my torso was on her feet — and then she flipped me into the air so I could fly like an eagle, but instead I landed on my face and my wrist landed on a baseball, and I broke my wrist, but I wanted to keep playing with Cindy (she was older and very cool) so I told my Mom I was fine, but anyhow it wasn’t fine and then I cried and got a cast and then I had to go to swim lessons with a newspaper bag tied around my cast so it wouldn’t get wet and anyhow I never really learned how to swim, unlike Deep Sea JoJo.

I think we all know what happens next so we don’t have to talk about it.

jojo doing pushups

Is it worth it? Let me work it, I put my thing down flip it and reverse it.

Anyhow, JoJo’s like, “better be good because what goes around comes around” and her and this dancer do some lifts in the water and the ocean spray is floating through the night air like fireflies or like the sprinkler my landlord says we need to have on for 37 minutes, four times a week, which my girlfriend thinks is going to be really expensive on the water bill. What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

dancing on the beachj

Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do!

JoJo sings that when she lays herself down to sleep it’s not your body next to her. I think she is referencing how sometimes your dog sleeps in your bed but sometimes it wants to sleep in its own tiny bed on the floor. Then JoJo has to simply lie in bed with her regrets about selling a makeup palette at Claire’s that had asbestos in it. (She apologized and it was discontinued.)

jojo dancing in the water

LET THE RAIN POOR I’LL BE ALL YOU NEED AND MORE

She then explains that the mirror has no sympathy, it’s more like a symphony that won’t let her forget. So now it’s time for a REWIND and the whole music video happens again except backwards!!! But this time there is a TWIST — JoJo is no longer swimming alone in the ocean looking for the remains of the Titanic, now she has a buddy, the bad girl with whom JoJo (also a bad girl) will do bad things.

JoJo and a girl underwater looking at each other with bubbles

Ursula said I don’t need to speak bc I can just use my body language do you think that’s true or no

Now we just do a little revisit of all of the makeouts and then JoJo rises back out of the water, like Jesus Christ Superstar. Good for her!!!!

surprise bitch i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me

There we have it, the complete recap of “Karma,” a music video brought to you by Dell computers. This is so campy and weird and so I have no choice but to love it a little bit!!

Don’t worry I am writing an entire JoJo Siwa Adult Lesbian Pop Star Rebrand Thinkpiece and you can look forward to that when you’re not trying to massage these lyrics out of your brain where they have already been imprinted potentially forever!

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3202 articles for us.

11 Comments

  1. I think you should convince your landlord to do a lawn with native plants that don’t need to be watered.

    Also, you are right that the lyrics are in my head now. I’m really glad I waited to watch the video until this article was out so I wouldn’t have to feel things like that alone.

  2. The music video gives me weird early to mid 00s boyband vibes when the 90s boybands all grew up and wanted to be serious “grown up” boybands now.

    Also i bet that “karma’s a bitch and she’s with me right now” part will get used in a movie montage or movie trailer at some point while leaving out most of the song.

  3. This song is a bop, and will greatly merit from being remixed. The covers on TikTok are pretty amazing. The choreography has a few “Wait, what??” moments. It does feel like it’s for teens, or tweens… for kids, anyway, not seen-it-all queer elders like myself. JoJo Siwa as the new Pied Piper, leading a giggle of girls away from pastel hair bows towards darker glitter. I’m here for it !

    As for your lawn… I gotta go with Nico on this : native plants, no watering. You probs won’t be allowed to water your lawn anyway, the way things are going !

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