Internet Haikus Written by a Person Who’s Maybe Been Watching a Little Too Much “Black Mirror”

a gofundme page
that’ll have a real impact
on my bank account


a good writing prompt
is the venmo emoji
let your mind run wild


the google doodle
surely virginia woolf’s dream
a room of one’s pwn


POV cooking
keeps the cortisol at bay
timelapse me daddy


listen to the tweet
say myspace like versace
a cognitive mod


a twitter feature
that closes the app for you
when you open drafts


heard tweens play a game
called “name the best youtubers”
and smelled soil unearthed


how far is too far?
said cady “tide pod” heron:
no limits exist


early internet
bless her for livejournal’s name
which is just talking


also for facebook
so much literalism
vine would be loopclip


you tube and me watch
said the future with a club
dragging on the ground


ever notice how
it’s always h-t-t-p
ne’er h-t-t me


what are the chances
there’s a google doc review
that awaits us all


i can freeze my bank
and get groceries delivered
but can’t e-unsend


wikipedia
they’re like, “mam, a penny, please”
as i gorge to death


timeline minesweeper
me too, aziz, cat person
better luck next time


remember covfefe
respect and honor covfefe
for it signed the end


what’s night without day
what’s a blog without a mom
what’s dark without light


when amazon reigns
will we call him lord bezos
or papa bezos


in case there was doubt
alexa’s a feminist
wokest surveillance

Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 204 articles for us.

12 Comments

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.