Are Lesbian Threesomes “In”? 1-2-3, Britney Spears Loves NSFW Sexy Sunday!

best-threesome-everTHREESOMES: Are Threesomes In? Here’s our first question: Were they ever OUT?

Anyhow, well, you may or may not be aware that Britney Spears’s new single is about …. threesomes! It’s a hot dance tune, though I personally prefer Fenix TX’s ode to threesomes. Apparently this is an article for straight people about the terror and pleasures of threesomes. So close your eyes and pretend we live in a non-heteronormative world, and then consider this question posed by this incredibly idiotic awesome article:

“Britney Spears “3″ is one of the most popular songs out there right now, but how many of you have stopped to actually listen to the words? Britney claims that threesomes are the new “in.” Well, that’s what we’re talking about today on the show. Are threesomes the new “in” or a disaster for your relationship?”

ENDURANCE: The Times of India, which for some reason is constantly publishing articles with bizarre premises and oft-hilarious translations, asks How Long Can You Last Without Sex? Really seriously they’re always super funny to read. We haven’t slept in a few days so we’re hoping it’s actually okay to make fun of terrible translations, like these examples:

Sex is, undoubtedly, a necessity of the body, based on two coordinates: reproduction and the tendency to socialize, to permanently cooperate with those around us. Survival on long periods of time is based to humans’ abilities to live in groups, which involves the birth of relations, more or less lasting or enjoyable.

Practically, a non-existing sexual life causes a lot of reactions, more or less explicable, and in some extreme cases it can lead to severe physical and philological reactions: skin itches, irritations, anger etc. You could end up hurting the ones beside you, emotionally or even physically, because you did not “read” one of your body’s cries for help.

nsfw-nov-15DILDOS: Review – Buck. Also, one out of the four women in the room I’m in right now also recommends this item and misses it more than she misses her relationship. (@sugarbutch)

DITA: Dita Von Teese is interviewed by Rachel Kramer Bussel at The Daily Beast about burlesque and her new flipbooks: “In America they’re obsessed with pop stars and maybe they’re a little bit afraid of having me on there because they think what I’m talking about and what I’m doing is too risqué.”

How do you feel about lesbians in schoolgirl outfits having sex on the altar? Anyone?

SWEET: BTW yes there was a lesbian wet t-shirt contest on the Sweet cruise. Luckily the photographer was standing near us rather than across from us, where you could have witnessed our looks of alternating horror and laughter.

FANTASIES: If you’ve had a rape fantasy, and statistically it’s quite possible that you have, you probs wonder … y’know. Why. Here’s some theories. (@eros blog)

BABES: Bras are so old school, here’s 68 babes who prefer belts. (@coed)

NERVE: Cinema Sutra … Cruel Intentions. Some advice for ladies who want to kiss ladies. And here’s a little refresher if you forgot the video, or weren’t burning with underground homosexual desires in the late 90s (or, conversely, burning sexual desires for Ryan Phillipe, who is hot):

BRAIN OF GOLD: Belle De Jour, the author of the blog Diary of a London Call Girl, which served as the inspiration for the Showtime Series “Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” has been unmasked — she’s a Cancer scientist! This is not surprising, because despite common belief, being a serious high-class full-time escort is really f*cking hard work; the fucking is the easy part, srsly.

Dr. Brooke Magnanti, and she’s a 32-year old developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology specialist at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health. (Her large number of degrees is impressive, but more so is the fact that she had a job with that many words in the title and also had time to write so much.)  She gave up escorting in 2004, but she’s still writing extensively, and others are quick to praise the quality of her prose.

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2743 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. On page 3 of that sweet cruise wet t-shirt contest.. That girl in those red, keyhole bottoms does not have real friends. Cause real friends would not have let her 1. wear/ buy that swimsuit 2. get up there with that body and expose it. Just saying.

    • Girl, I was thinking that exact same thing. If I had been there in person I would have been even more horrified than I am right now. That swimsuit wouldn’t look cute on anybody.

  2. Ok I actually looked up ‘philological’ ’cause I thought it wasn’t a word, but it turns out it’s the study of linguistics/literature, etc. Which’s funny cause then then the article went on to say something about reading bodies.

    Cruel Intentions was my favorite movie for like 5 years. I love Sarah Michelle Geller cause’ like, Buffy, duh. This makes me think of high school.

  3. The top photo just made me spit-take laugh out loud in the library. Thanks for that.

    Also, re: Times of India, it is important to note that that is probably not actually a translation. That is just how people in India speak English, even the hyper-educated ones who become journalists for the most important and widely-read paper in the country, and it is what you are signing up for if you decide to spend any amount of time there. It is actually kind of wonderful IRL.

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.