26 Really Special Ways You Described Your Relationship Status In The Autostraddle Reader Survey

In the 2014 Autostraddle Reader Survey, we asked you to share your relationship status with the group. A whopping 49% of you are single, 26% are in a serious relationship(s), 17% are living with your partner(s), 12% are dating and 6% are married. Readers were invited to ‘select all that apply’ but many readers found their particular situation was not adequately covered by the multiple choice options, and instead chose to write in a more descriptive answer. These are just some of those very very VERY special responses.

1. Relationship Anarchist

2. the most single person in the entire world


4. i’m dating six-ish people right now? casually? am i going to die?

5. alone and with too much social anxiety to change that!

6. using one-night stands to distract myself from my crush on my flatmate counts, right?

7. too legit to quit

8. in a serious relationship with Netflix

9. we are kinda dating but it’s not official, it’s really complicated up in here

10. spinster

11. it’s a shit show


13. I have no idea, women are confusing!

14. plotting to kindly leave my husband and become a lesbian separatist

15. I am so alone please send cats

16. My dog and I are the slippery slope

17. Love-hate relationship with my dissertation

18. Single and ready to mingle with pringles

19. I am terrible at dating and considering breaking up with a nice girl because she cares too much, THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP AUTOSTRADDLE

20. Crazy cat lady

21. Sleeping with girls who will never be my girlfriend

22. I am in a relationship with a man and I want to leave but it’s very complicated and my mom will definitely cry

23. Is it serious if we’re each other’s firsts and it took two months to realize we were dating? What is that?

24. Imaginary relationship with my tumblr followers

25. 21 years March 18th.


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Riese is the 40-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3020 articles for us.


  1. I laughed really hard at all of these.

    And I can relate to several of them, including:
    “imaginary relationship with my Tumblr followers”
    “single and ready to mingle with Pringles”
    “in a serious relationship with Netflix”

    And all I can think about now is that Bob’s Burgers episode where Tina asks if it’s possible to be in love with 25 people at once.

    • As long as it was and didn’t compromise the fabulousness that Autostraddle IS now

      Maybe any dating site could be very separate from the rest of Autostraddle, because, the one thing that keeps me on my keyboard, contributing, and glued to Autostraddle is the mere fact that it is not a meat market. It would seriously hamper my willingness to contribute if Autostraddle became more dating website orientated. That is only me by the way. One of the major things I LOVE about Autostraddle is that it is a queer safe womens’ space that any queer women can access if she has internet. It is a safe space and that so needs to be protected and cherished and not compromised by things getting blurred with a dating site….

      I am sure it could be done…

      • So Autostraddle here and

        Dating website there

        So they are separate because

        Autostraddle needs to remain as expansive, safe, friendly and inclusive as it is, and it needs it audience as much as we need the contributors and performers – there are conversations to be had, old ones, new ones, it is a dialog

        and to enable the audience and contributors/performers to continue to contribute, the safeness of an inclusive welcoming space needs to continue and be protected, which, I believe could be compromised if a dating website’s “interests” became confused with Autostraddle’s “safe queer womens’ conversation space”, became confused.

        It could happen, but keep them separate, because their vested interests are kind of conflicting…

        • Oh gosh! Your comment is super relevant! Somehow I became unofficial captain of a queer-friendship group that went from 4 people to 50 within two weeks…goodness gracious I don’t know what is going to happen to the dating scene when we basically just blew it up. Friendship, dating? It is just something that I think about as our group grows up.

        • Sarah it won’t let me reply to you, but I AM IN THAT EXACT SITUATION. So many queers at once, to the point that every hangout is like a big thirty-person date. And it is wonderful and perfect and no one has coupled off yet but it’s coming, I feel it… Hahaha.

        • I was mostly posting this comment as a pipe dream hypothetical, but positively yes on separation! I suppose I just differ from many other commenters in that I don’t have terribly many (or really any) not-straight women that I see on a regular basis at this point, so I was potentially jumping the gun a bit.

  2. #23- If your relationship goes anything like mine that started that way did, in three years you’ll be married. And in six years you’ll be “that couple,” who married young and are always together, and have cats. (But only if you like cats. You could have something else instead.)

  3. Ladies, have to say 13 is true. Men are much easier to read than women. There should be a Degree for observing, studying, learning, interacting and being with women. Though I wonder how many would actually graduate to being a master…

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