In the 2014 Autostraddle Reader Survey, we asked you to share your relationship status with the group. A whopping 49% of you are single, 26% are in a serious relationship(s), 17% are living with your partner(s), 12% are dating and 6% are married. Readers were invited to ‘select all that apply’ but many readers found their particular situation was not adequately covered by the multiple choice options, and instead chose to write in a more descriptive answer. These are just some of those very very VERY special responses.
1. Relationship Anarchist
2. the most single person in the entire world
3. MOTHERFUCKING ENGAGED! :)
4. i’m dating six-ish people right now? casually? am i going to die?
5. alone and with too much social anxiety to change that!
6. using one-night stands to distract myself from my crush on my flatmate counts, right?
7. too legit to quit
8. in a serious relationship with Netflix
9. we are kinda dating but it’s not official, it’s really complicated up in here
10. spinster
11. it’s a shit show
12. SINGLE FOR LYFE
13. I have no idea, women are confusing!
14. plotting to kindly leave my husband and become a lesbian separatist
15. I am so alone please send cats
16. My dog and I are the slippery slope
17. Love-hate relationship with my dissertation
18. Single and ready to mingle with pringles
19. I am terrible at dating and considering breaking up with a nice girl because she cares too much, THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP AUTOSTRADDLE
20. Crazy cat lady
21. Sleeping with girls who will never be my girlfriend
22. I am in a relationship with a man and I want to leave but it’s very complicated and my mom will definitely cry
23. Is it serious if we’re each other’s firsts and it took two months to realize we were dating? What is that?
24. Imaginary relationship with my tumblr followers
25. 21 years March 18th.
26. FINALLY LEGALLY MARRIED, BITCHES!!!
<3333333 y'all are hilaradoramazing.
“I am so alone please send cats” I think I choked on my own laughter for a solid 5.
#8 & #20 so much!! Also include will die alone and my cats will eat me.
I laughed really hard at all of these.
And I can relate to several of them, including:
“imaginary relationship with my Tumblr followers”
“single and ready to mingle with Pringles”
“in a serious relationship with Netflix”
And all I can think about now is that Bob’s Burgers episode where Tina asks if it’s possible to be in love with 25 people at once.
This is just the greatest thing ever. #4 made me laugh out loud in the silent study room so thanks for that.
…about six ish. Great placement of “ish”. Can she have her own column? My eyeballs are guaranteed.
you’re welcome!
hilarious but like 10 of these work for me tho
me and all my friends
With 49% of us single (myself included, although 17 is def true), I find myself strongly desiring an Autostraddle dating site.
I feel like autostraddle would be so good at making a dating site format that doesn’t suck.
Would it be like A-Camp cabin choosing? Just Autostraddle making us fill out surveys, then the editors sitting around drinking wine and pairing us up?
FTR, i am VERY sober while making cabin assignments. more or less. mostly.
I don’t care how much wine is involved I stand behind the A-Camp cabin assignment a million percent!!!! I’ve LOVED all my cabins!!!!
(Anxiously awaiting my next one!!! Mostly cuz I’m always super excited and only partially so I can beg for a ride, lolz.)
As long as it was and didn’t compromise the fabulousness that Autostraddle IS now
Maybe any dating site could be very separate from the rest of Autostraddle, because, the one thing that keeps me on my keyboard, contributing, and glued to Autostraddle is the mere fact that it is not a meat market. It would seriously hamper my willingness to contribute if Autostraddle became more dating website orientated. That is only me by the way. One of the major things I LOVE about Autostraddle is that it is a queer safe womens’ space that any queer women can access if she has internet. It is a safe space and that so needs to be protected and cherished and not compromised by things getting blurred with a dating site….
I am sure it could be done…
So Autostraddle here and
Dating website there
So they are separate because
Autostraddle needs to remain as expansive, safe, friendly and inclusive as it is, and it needs it audience as much as we need the contributors and performers – there are conversations to be had, old ones, new ones, it is a dialog
and to enable the audience and contributors/performers to continue to contribute, the safeness of an inclusive welcoming space needs to continue and be protected, which, I believe could be compromised if a dating website’s “interests” became confused with Autostraddle’s “safe queer womens’ conversation space”, became confused.
It could happen, but keep them separate, because their vested interests are kind of conflicting…
Oh gosh! Your comment is super relevant! Somehow I became unofficial captain of a queer-friendship group that went from 4 people to 50 within two weeks…goodness gracious I don’t know what is going to happen to the dating scene when we basically just blew it up. Friendship, dating? It is just something that I think about as our group grows up.
Sarah it won’t let me reply to you, but I AM IN THAT EXACT SITUATION. So many queers at once, to the point that every hangout is like a big thirty-person date. And it is wonderful and perfect and no one has coupled off yet but it’s coming, I feel it… Hahaha.
I was mostly posting this comment as a pipe dream hypothetical, but positively yes on separation! I suppose I just differ from many other commenters in that I don’t have terribly many (or really any) not-straight women that I see on a regular basis at this point, so I was potentially jumping the gun a bit.
true. so many babes in the comments tho :/
the chart
I have a lot of questions for 16, would like to see a picture of their dog
the relationship anarchist needs to write a manifesto and be my new best friend, please and thank you
There is already a relationship anarchy manifesto…
I never heard of relationship anarchy before, this manifesto is awesome!
I am the relationship anarchist! (Unless there is more than one… In which case, hi!) And I did indeed get the term and the concept and all from Andie Nordgren, girlwithglasses! Can I still be your best friend molllllly? :)
Also woooo, I was featured on one of these lists, yay!
Woooooo indeed! I am #20 (or one of the #20s, in case there are other people out there who know that “crazy cat lady” is a relationship status)!
26. FINALLY LEGALLY MARRIED, BITCHES!!!
FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
so much anarchist representation this year on the reader survey by the way, A++
just wanna say I don’t know why there photo for this article has a sexy nun but I’m way into it
yes
…is it weird that I actually clicked on the article because of the picture before I saw what it was about?
was hoping for an article on sexy nuns but this was ok too
right?
What does it say about me if I relate to like 60% of these?
that you’re awesome
Also, “why did no one put ‘in a serious relationship with autostraddle'” – my friend Rowan who I just introduced to this site
awwwwwww!
15 is so amazing! And I know so many 17s/will maybe hopefully be her in a few years.
I am somehow in number 9, kinda dating but not officially (but we’re also dating exclusively?), with my ex sooooo probably don’t do that. It’s very messy.
Really wish I wrote #14. Tonight’s when I kindly tell the husband I want a divorce.
oh wow! good luck, megan! <3
Thanks, Riese. It’ll all be okay. It can’t be more miserable than it is right now. Famous last words. (Also, OMG Riese replied to one of my comments!)
Good luck
I registered an account so I could say, I did this last year, and good luck! For me it’s been completely worth it.
I also wish you luck
good luck! it really really sucks for a while and then it gets SO MUCH BETTER, seriously.
You can do it! So much strength and peace to you.
we love you
Good luck! I hope it goes as well as it possibly can. <3
Best of luck <3
<3 <3 i hope you’re ok today! i did the same thing 8 yrs ago and can confirm that your future self will really love you for this. xoxox
Same thing that so many others over here and everywhere : I also did this 5 years ago, and although it might become a rather chaotic time of your life (but then again, maybe not!), just like Laneia said, you future self will love you for doing this. And a future self filled with love has to be something to be looking forward to… :-)
Sending you love and good vibes too. <3
Number 15 I feel you.
“18. Single and ready to mingle with pringles”
yeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss -casually jumps into the pringley mix-
Yeah….
![](http://mlkshk.com/r/BEG8)
Crazy Cat Lady has an amazing story. Be warned, young Ambitious women, this could be you in a few years.
http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Eleanor_Abernathy
I love the way these women think ;)
16. Yes. Absolutely.
Whoever you are I’m going down that slope with you because my dog is the fucking best.
#19 and #24. Breaking up with nice girls who care too much and in imaginary relationships with Tumblr followers — are you guys me??
This is fantastic. I love Autostraddlers.
So, these will all be options on the multiple choice menu next year, RIGHT?
#17, serious relationship with a dissertation.. that’s brilliant. (I’ll be done end of this year, finger’s crossed, and it’ll feel like a divorce, I guess.)
“Imaginary relationship with my tumblr followers” and “I am so alone please send cats” are essentially my relationship status in a nutshell.
#23- If your relationship goes anything like mine that started that way did, in three years you’ll be married. And in six years you’ll be “that couple,” who married young and are always together, and have cats. (But only if you like cats. You could have something else instead.)
I’m pretty sure #19 describes my entire dating history. Send pringles.
You know, I have days when i want to jump back onto relationship train solely so that I can once again minimally-awkwardly come out by dropping “my girlfriend” in a conversation.
#19 basically describes/sounds like what happened with my ex so you guys can probably guess what MY response would be to that question
it’s all so good!
Relating to #6 and #15.
in a serious relationship with Spotify
I relate to alllllll of the terribly lonely singles ones ._.
and I can’t have a cat because I’m constantly moving from place to place, job to job so the poor critter would have no constancy!
“plotting to kindly leave my husband and become a lesbian separatist.” Aren’t we all?
Id have to say 18 & 24….. im deeply envolved with my food and tumblr hahaha
Ladies, have to say 13 is true. Men are much easier to read than women. There should be a Degree for observing, studying, learning, interacting and being with women. Though I wonder how many would actually graduate to being a master…
I made it on to a thing! :D
All of these, definitely, are just amazing and hilariously relatable. But to #22–heart goes out to you. I did it, she cried, time passed and everyone is much happier.