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How To Improve a Queer Sex Marathon

One description of sex forever etched into my mind came from a bisexual friend. She described one of her exes as follows: ‘she and I would spend sunrise to sunset moving the bed from one end of the apartment to the other.

That was my first exposure to marathon sapphic sex. We can do it for hours. Like, hours. We’re foreplay oriented and know that orgasms don’t conclude the ceremonies. We’re not averse to assistance. Women are hot. I could keep going, but that’s another article. Even so, have we given thought to making marathon sex more comfortable? I love a spontaneous romp, but a few basic preparations can go a long way.

The Body Package

I’ll lay my bias out openly: I’m a germaphobe and hygiene comes first (I cum third, everyone else goes second). Like many people, we have a rotation of sex towels on hand. You know. Save a sheet; ruin a towel. Just toss it into the wash when we’re done. Easy.

But further than that, how about a package of essentials nestled in a bag under the bed? A package with wet wipes, lip balm, and a soft face towel for stray sweat. I like it to be slide-under-the-bed sized so I don’t have to explain a towel and wet wipes sitting in the open, but still within reach when the moment hits. You’ll get mega bonus points for a travel bottle of lube and mini vibrator that can be grabbed without fumbling through a drawer.

Okay, one special suggestion before I veer into another sex bag article: A pair of fresh underwear for each of you that lives inside said bag. Folded. Even if that’s the only pair in the house you fold. Marathon sex means taking breaks, but some of us feel odd walking around naked even with sex on the table. That’s what the fresh undies are for. There’s wordless joy in starting a sex break with clean hands, clean face, and fresh underwear. Plus, you get to begin the next session by peeling the underwear off your partner(s) again.

Middlecare

We kinksters are familiar with aftercare. During marathon sessions, you might even need middlecare. That’s not just caring for the middle partner in a triad (even though I think middles deserve all the love). It’s about finding moments of calm to reflect and maintain the mood.

There are other differences too. I think aftercare should be separated from sex. Or at least the very intense parts. Aftercare is used to restore our emotional balance after intense experiences. Some people put their power dynamics on hold or switch to a caregiving state. Aftercare concludes sex.

Middlecare is a chance to care for each other while sex is still on the table. That could mean switching to a massage-and-chat moment. It could be making out and laughing about the day’s events. Check your phones and switch up the playlist. Shower together.

Marathon sex is about riding the peaks and troughs of sensation. We can’t experience one without the other, and middlecare bridges that space. Just like aftercare, it can fit our needs. It can become aftercare if that’s where the vibe is going. Some people touch and tease during middlecare — just without leg-shaking intensity. Others need a full-on break for snacks and showers.

It’s exactly what you need it to be. I’m just putting the option out there.

Maximizing Comfort

Sex should always be comfortable. Just as long sex sessions raise the bar on intensity, they should also raise the bar on relaxation. Our bed has a mountain of pillows with textures and sizes to suit every need. We flop into them. We rest our heads on them. We use them during tricky positions. Our bodies aren’t flat, so why should our surfaces be? Get a continental pillow or two. Submerge yourself.

Hydration and stretching are also obligatory. Sex is physical, no matter how laid-back about it we are. One glass of water is enough for some, but my girlfriend needs half a gallon on standby or she’ll turn into a prune. So she tells me. I prefer stretching, though. I like being stretched into interesting positions, but I also do it on my own. Leave me alone for a bit, and you will witness the famous big kitty stretch. It’s a factory reset for my whole spine.

Lastly, I can’t leave food-motivated folks out without a paddle. Sex is hungry work. If not something from your last meal prep, then a snack bar and some breath mints will do fine. They’ll even fit into that package I mentioned at the beginning. I’m also the number one fan of plushies for comfort at home and abroad.

The only time comfort has backfired is when we get so comfy that we all fall asleep. I embrace it when it happens. Imagine making your marathon sex so chill you can’t fight off the sleepiness. Bliss.


Do you have any favorite tips for marathon sex? Put them in the comments!

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Summer Tao

Summer Tao is a South Africa based writer. She has a fondness for queer relationships, sexuality and news. Her love for plush cats, and video games is only exceeded by the joy of being her bright, transgender self

Summer has written 28 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. I have always said the most important part of lesbian sex is getting her a glass of water while she regains the power of coherent speech, which is very stone top of me. 😂 Aftercare is so important even if kink isn’t in the equation! (I also love the term middlecare omg.)

  2. Inspiring! I just want to remind you all that it is important to be ergonomic and change hands and have breaks for arm recovery. I injured my one hand/arm three years ago due to “taking care” of my partner during a marathon, and it is still not recovered and requires regular physiotherapy to function at all. :(

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