Get Baked: Doggie Style

I have a dog. Her name is Willow. She’s part Maltese and part mutt, which is the best part. She loves to eat ice, her front legs are shorter than her back legs, she has a freakishly long tongue and she burps after she eats anything, even if that thing was just a piece of ice.

I tell you these things because it’s Pet Appreciation Week! I know, I know, EVERY week is pet appreciation week, but THIS week the “leasing and maintenance team” at my apartment left treats at the doors of all the pet owners in the building along with a recipe for homemade dog biscuits. This is that recipe.

Before we begin you should know that I am not a very good cook. Up to this point my skills have been limited to grilled cheese and scrambled eggs. Not in the same meal, just so we’re clear. BUT how hard can it be to make an edible treat for an animal that eats its own poop? After all, she loves my grilled cheese.

Let’s appreciate some pets.

Autostraddle Babies

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Homemade Dog Biscuits

Ingredients:

1 cup rolled oats (I took this to mean oatmeal. Is rolled oats oatmeal?)
1/3 cup margarine
1 cup boiling water
3/4 cup cornmeal
2 teaspoons white sugar
3 cups whole wheat flour
2 tsp. chicken bouillon (the recipe said to use beef bouillon, but then they also misspelled “bouillon” so I’m pretty sure they don’t know what they are talking about)
1/2 cup milk
1 cup shredded cheese
1 egg, beaten

Directions:

Preheat the hot box in your kitchen to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, combine the oatmeal/rolled oats, margarine and boiling water. Let that situation stand for 10 minutes. While that’s standing grease some cookie sheets or just put non-stick foil over a cookie sheet if you’re lazy. Guess which route I took?

Has it been 10 minutes? Okay! Thoroughly stir in the cornmeal, sugar, bouillon, milk, cheddar cheese and that beaten egg. It’s time to mix in the flour. Do that one cup at a time until you have a stiff dough and/or your arm is about to fall out of the socket. After 2 cups you’ll think, “Wow that’s a lot of flour. Maybe that’s enough.” It’s not enough. Put that third cup in.

Knead the dough on a lightly floured surface, mixing in additional flour if needed (you’ll probs need it) until the dough is smooth and no longer sticky. Roll or pat out dough until it is about 1/2″ thick.

Now we get creative. Use cookie cutters/your imagination to make cute shapes that your dog will not appreciate. You should probs use cookie cutters relative in size to your dog. I used tiny cookie cutters because Willow is a tiny puppy and I still broke it into pieces when I gave her one.

Put these cute shapes on the prepared cookie sheets and put the sheets in the oven. Now break out the squeaky toys and play with your pooch for 35 to 45 minutes until his/her treats are golden brown. Flip the treats at about 20 minutes so they are evenly brown all over.

I am so lacking in the kitchen and so the following happened during the making of these treats:

+ A 15 minute internal debate on whether or not to melt the margarine before adding it in the bowl.
+ Two separate phone calls to my girlfrend at work to ask 1) If one wanted 2 teaspoons of something, how would one go about that? and 2) What temperature I should use to boil the water?
+ The “let stand 10 minutes” part was forgotten. Luckily it took me 10 minutes to find the teaspoons anyway.

It all worked out alright, though. Willow was a happy camper. I know this because right after I gave her a treat she got her favorite toy, “monkey face,” brought it to her pillow and then burped really loudly.

Do you have pets? How will you appreciate them? If you have a recipe for cat treats, Jamie is very interested in that FYI.

Bren has written 80 articles for us.

24 Comments

  1. I love that Willow is a star. She’s so cute. And I’m impressed with your cooking abilities – Are you ready for a show on Food Network?

    • My cats are pretty fond of these:

      1 tin (7 oz or 200g) mashed sardines in oil
      1/4 dry non-fat milk
      1/2 cup wheat germ

      Before you begin, preheat your oven to 350F (175C) and grease a baking tray lightly with cooking spray.

      Mix all ingredients together well in a mixing bowl.

      Use a teaspoon to roll small portions of the mixture into 1/2 teaspoon sized balls.

      Place each ball of mixture on the baking tray and flatten them down with the back of a fork.

      Bake them in the oven at 350F (175C) for around 15 to 20 mins depending on the cooking time for your oven, or until they turn a golden-brown color.

      Place them on a cooling tray to cool completely.

      Store these homemade cat treats in an air-tight container.

    • My recipe for cat snacks.

      1) put turkey sandwich down and answer phone/get caught up with something that pulls your attention away from sandwich.

      2) walk away for 30 seconds

      3) return to find bread askew and turkey in sandwich missing

      4) find cat on couch arm eating turkey

      5) try to nicely approach cat to retrieve turkey as cat glares at you with a look of complete distrust

      6) fumble as cat bolts down the hall

      7) find cat under bed with turkey

      8) give up

  2. There’s been a wee bit of a heat wave in the Bay this week. Instead of cooking treat for my Great Pyrenees, I just filled those little cruet dishes (you know, the littlethings you see creme brulee in) with peanut butter. Then froze them. Set dog on porch, set bowl on porch, enjoy show.

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