GChatting for Freedom: The Vice Presidential Debate

Rachel: LEMON

Lemon: HELLOOOO
HI CARMEN

Rachel: Oh shit, is she proposing her own ideas and having them respond? That’s badass.

Lemon: Martha

Rachel: Props to Biden for actually explaining the voucher system and shutting it down. Vouchers are wacko if you’re a teen. Or anyone.

Carmen: LEM00000N
Also vouchers are whack
WOW
Biden “doesn’t have a track record to run on?” Fuck you. “We are not jeopardizing this program.” Fuck you.

Carmen: THIS IS ALL WRONG
#catfight

Rachel: This is filling me with so much rage. But I feel so indebted to Biden for calling him on it

Carmen: Yes. Omg the taxes shit is so real

Rachel: I feel like we’re getting way straighter answers in this debate. I mean obviously Ryan is lying, but at least questions are actually being answered.

Rachel: Biden is all fire and brimstone
Get it, girl

Carmen: YEAH~
Lolol Ryan referencing Canada is so funny. They like gay people and have socialized healthcare there, dood. Watch yourself.

really though, canada comparisons?

Rachel: This set of statistics he’s creating w/r/t taxes and small businesses is so weird

Carmen: Romney did it too. Weird shit.

Lemon: There aren’t enough rich people and small businesses to tax??

Rachel: This does not make sense

Lemon: Also LOL you guys Biden’s laugh

Carmen: “So do you have a plan? What is your plan?”

Lemon: It’s like he knows a secret that everyone else doesn’t

Rachel: It’s such a genuine laugh, that’s what makes it great

Carmen: He’s giggling like a schoolgirl because of how well this is going for him
SIX STUDIES SIX STUDIES SIX STUDIES

Rachel: I feel like Ryan is holding his shit together well enough that republicans will still try to claim he won this debate. But they will be wrong

Lemon: “Can I translate”
OH GOD

Rachel: My best friend and I are in a separate GChat talking about how Ryan is totally that guy who makes snide “jokes” about your body in an attempt to get you to lose weight. Just FYI

Carmen: OH SHIT
PAUL RYAN JUST TRIED TO SAY “YOU GUYS DON’T LIKE BIPARTISANASHIP”
Ok hold on
PAUL RYAN IS TRYING TO SAY DEMS DON’T LIKE BIPARTISANSHIP
AND I CAN’T EVEN

Rachel: Yeah because you know who loves working together as a team and definitely doesn’t block and/or filibuster everything the other party tries to do

Carmen: YOU FUCKERS WERE BEING BIG BABIES THE WHOLE TIME WE TRIED TO BE BIPARTISAN
SO

Rachel: Remember that time the GOP blocked literally everything
Like every single thing
They blocked THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT
The single, only reason that exists is to STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
And they still had to block it

Lemon: THEY DO NOT NEED IT, MARTHA (re: tax breaks for the wealthy)

Carmen: HAHAHA

Lemon: That is the whole point right there
That’s it

Rachel: God the loopholes again

Lemon: That is all. Nothing else.

Rachel: Do Republicans even know what loopholes are? Like, what that word means? I feel like they think they might be imaginary woodland creatures, like snipes.

Carmen: Yes, it’s how they get elected
BAM
HAHAHA Rachel

Rachel: “We’re going to fix taxes by finding the loopholes! They’re out there. Somewhere.”

Lemon: HAHHAAA

Carmen: Also what you said about Ryan making fat jokes is so true
He sucks.

Rachel: “No one wants that.” — Martha

still with this face

Carmen: HAHAH

Rachel: The whole philosophy of the GOP is so wrapped up in ideology of strength and weakness, which makes me so sad

Lemon: YES

Rachel: Not to get all touchy-feely on you but I feel so sad about the ways in which we’ve conflated self-sufficiency and militaristic might with strength
And peace and helping each other out as “weakness”

Carmen: I hate that failing due to circumstances outside of your control —
Failing because of institutional barriers
Failing because of poverty
Failing because of anything that is out of your hands
And when I say failing I mean like, failing to be a billionaire? To eat? To make it?
Is your fault

Rachel: Is “weak”

Carmen: And it makes you like, a bad person
Yes
Like why does that make me a bad person
I’m unemployed it’s cause YOU GUYS who are bad people, and you don’t give a fuck about me
Timely: “They Don’t Really Care About Us” by Michael Jackson.

Rachel: “The gains we’ve gotten?” What have we gained from all these wars, exactly?Haha I just noticed Martha’s water glass has a cocktail straw in it. Am secretly hoping that’s because it’s a cocktail

Carmen: I like joe biden just like lingering
“We
Will
Leave
By
2014

Rachel: I love that Martha is making it explicit that Ryan won’t give a timeline
He’s kind of floundering now

Carmen: He is failing
And not in the weak way…
In the dumb way.

Rachel: He just doesn’t have an answer

Carmen: I think it’s unfair to say the Taliban are going to “take advantage” of our timeline
We need a timeline and we need to leave.
We went to kill Osama / Saddam, it’s all over, let’s give it up
We got the blood, we made some positive change, let’s empower some people to do their shit

Rachel: Also trying to deflect responsibility by waving a vague scary thing is just so done

Carmen: Yes, it’s sooo done. I’m so over that
The Taliban existed before, they exist now, they exist.
Gangs exist! THE KKK EXISTS!
Murder is wrong!

Rachel: “Let me try to illustrate this, because I think it can be a little confusing” I appreciate your treating us like children, Ryan, I feel so much more reassured now

Carmen: Except when he does it it’s like he’s telling me a story. A fake story. I like that he is dropping names of regions to make up for when Romney fucked them up

Rachel:  “Let’s move to another war.”
HAHAHAHA

Carmen: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Carmen: I love this question
“WHY NOT START MORE WARS”
“RIGHT NOW”
“MR. RYAN?!”

Rachel: I just laughed out loud

Carmen: But how could that even be possible
Painting a picture about “fighters spilling in”
I also kind of think they want to fight so we lose, and so we leave. So we should just leave?

Rachel: “What would my friend do DIFFERENTLY? You notice he never answers the question.”
House of Biden, bringing realness

Carmen: HOLY SHIT ABORTION
HOLY SHIT

Rachel: Oh good, Catholicism
Excellent
Can’t wait to talk about this
Also why does religion have any place in this debate?

Carmen: “I don’t think a peron can separate their personal life or their faith from their politics.” – Paul Ryan said this, Biden won the debate. The end.
D00d this is some basic shit

Rachel: YOU SHOULD NOT HOLD PUBLIC OFFICE
DONE
SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED
Asshole, I don’t care about your kid
Your kid is not going to be vice president

Carmen: LOL

Rachel: Your feelings about her are not valid here

Carmen: Fuck ya kid
Dude Biden’s kid DIED
So fuck him
I’m just gonna keep bringing that up

Rachel: “Assaulting the religious liberties of this country”
I cannot roll my eyes hard enough
Taxpayer money going to Planned Parenthood isn’t the same thing as it going to abortion, asshole.
God, it is so good to hear a politician say “I refuse to impose this on others”
“Let me make it absolutely clear” is OG Obama
Oh FUCK YES bringing up the “forcible rape” issue
Shine a LIGHT on that bullshit
Oh that question was so good — Is abortion gonna remain legal? I would very much like to know

Carmen: I LOVED THAT Q

Rachel: God, Biden killed that question. He is so right about Supreme Court justices.

Carmen: Yes.
And like
I was thinking how weird it is to say like
“I like life, except in three instances”
Like I feel like that’s almost weirder than just supporting abortion
To say “no, except the following lives are not worthy of being fought for”

Rachel: That’s so true
Also, wow, really bringing it full circle. “Are you ever embarrassed by the tone of this campaign?”

Carmen: I love it
She done good
She done good.

Rachel: I wanna buy her a drink

Carmen: I have a lil mudslide left, I’ll pour it out
Wow, Ryan calling Obama negative is HILARIOUS
“The string of broken promises”
“STRING OF LIES”

Rachel: There is just virtually no relationship between reality and Ryan’s statements in this debate

Carmen: HIS RESPONSE IS TEARING PEOPLE DOWN

Rachel: The collective response to this question is making me sad
It seems like the idea is “well, i’ve been negative because my opponent is just so awful I can’t help it! LET ME PROVIDE EXAMPLES.”
Wow, really? Trying to front like Obama is the one who won’t give a specific plan?
That’s pretty ballsy

Carmen: This is bad because Joe Biden’s speech was moving (“it will be okay. It will be okay.”) But Paul Ryan is looking at the camera
And I know that’s a good thing to do because college

Rachel: Because college
Are they going to hug like Obama and Romney hugged?
Because that was so gloriously uncomfortable

Carmen: That was homosexy
Also
Paul Ryan just sounded way too scripted / robotic so

Rachel: I feel like he’s trying to sell me a used car. Aw, handshake, no hug. Kind of a serious arm squeeze though

Carmen: Oooh ~sensual
It is a used car. It’s a recycled car that doesn’t run but it looks nice for 5 seconds

Rachel: Ok, I feel like it needs to be acknowledged that aside from the 5 minutes spent on abortion, the glaring question of women’s issues didn’t get any screen time

Carmen: Yep
ALSO
IT’S NCOD
NO GAY Q

Rachel: Right
What even are gay people
Also tho we can totes acknowledge that biden won
Master debater

Carmen: Biden pwned a bitch
It is official, Biden hath owned

Rachel: I’m going to send him an edible arrangement

Carmen: HAHAHA
Sign my name in the card

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And that’s all she wrote, folks! Join us again for the next Presidential debate on October 16. In the meantime, check out the fact-checking on this debate as well as the White House’s clarifications, and of course, Ann Friedman’s GIF coverage. (Also, if you haven’t seen this yet, go ahead and check it out. It will help.)

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Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1086 articles for us.

14 Comments

  1. Carmen’s mom sounds like my mom. I’m pretty sure it took my mom a lot of self-control not to punch the TV every time Paul Ryan opened his mouth. Needless to say, with me, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…

  2. Couldn’t they have thrown a bone to the gays on NCOD? That part disappointed me.

    Biden was almost too good at calling Ryan on his bullshit. I can’t decide if he should have been more polite/professional or if that was a good way to show YOUR BULLSHIT IS BULLSHIT.

    I almost used the wrong ‘you’re,’ you can see how many feelings I have about this.

  3. I spent 80% of the debate yelling, either “THAT IS FALSE!” at Ryan, or some variation of “yay,” “yesyesyes,” etc. at Biden. Also that time Paul Ryan was making fun of Biden but ended up giving us a way to make fun of Romney way more – “sometimes the words don’t come out of your mouth the right way!”

  4. I do have to say that while I overall thought Biden did a great job of handing Ryan his ass, I really wish he had taken a stronger line on contradicting what Ryan said about the contraception mandate. See, it is easy, if you don’t really understand the issue of the separation of church and state and how it’s been interpreted in the courts, to think that something like that is unconstitutional, so I do think those of us who get it need to be better at explaining why. Especially when you’re the VP in a vice presidential debate. It’s nice that he pointed out that explicitly religious organizations (e.g. not colleges and hospitals) don’t have it, but I think he needed to go further than that.

  5. “There’s this Buffy episode where there’s an evil frat where college boys try to sacrifice girls to a malicious reptile god, I feel like Paul Ryan would belong to it”

    i JUST rewatched this episode and all i can say is YES YES YES 100x YES

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