Rachel: Oh shit, is she proposing her own ideas and having them respond? That’s badass.
Rachel: Props to Biden for actually explaining the voucher system and shutting it down. Vouchers are wacko if you’re a teen. Or anyone.
Also vouchers are whack
Biden “doesn’t have a track record to run on?” Fuck you. “We are not jeopardizing this program.” Fuck you.
Carmen: THIS IS ALL WRONG
Rachel: This is filling me with so much rage. But I feel so indebted to Biden for calling him on it
Carmen: Yes. Omg the taxes shit is so real
Rachel: I feel like we’re getting way straighter answers in this debate. I mean obviously Ryan is lying, but at least questions are actually being answered.
Rachel: Biden is all fire and brimstone
Get it, girl
Lolol Ryan referencing Canada is so funny. They like gay people and have socialized healthcare there, dood. Watch yourself.
Rachel: This set of statistics he’s creating w/r/t taxes and small businesses is so weird
Carmen: Romney did it too. Weird shit.
Lemon: There aren’t enough rich people and small businesses to tax??
Rachel: This does not make sense
Lemon: Also LOL you guys Biden’s laugh
Carmen: “So do you have a plan? What is your plan?”
Lemon: It’s like he knows a secret that everyone else doesn’t
Rachel: It’s such a genuine laugh, that’s what makes it great
Carmen: He’s giggling like a schoolgirl because of how well this is going for him
SIX STUDIES SIX STUDIES SIX STUDIES
Rachel: I feel like Ryan is holding his shit together well enough that republicans will still try to claim he won this debate. But they will be wrong
Lemon: “Can I translate”
Rachel: My best friend and I are in a separate GChat talking about how Ryan is totally that guy who makes snide “jokes” about your body in an attempt to get you to lose weight. Just FYI
Carmen: OH SHIT
PAUL RYAN JUST TRIED TO SAY “YOU GUYS DON’T LIKE BIPARTISANASHIP”
Ok hold on
PAUL RYAN IS TRYING TO SAY DEMS DON’T LIKE BIPARTISANSHIP
AND I CAN’T EVEN
Rachel: Yeah because you know who loves working together as a team and definitely doesn’t block and/or filibuster everything the other party tries to do
Carmen: YOU FUCKERS WERE BEING BIG BABIES THE WHOLE TIME WE TRIED TO BE BIPARTISAN
Rachel: Remember that time the GOP blocked literally everything
Like every single thing
They blocked THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT
The single, only reason that exists is to STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
And they still had to block it
Lemon: THEY DO NOT NEED IT, MARTHA (re: tax breaks for the wealthy)
Lemon: That is the whole point right there
Rachel: God the loopholes again
Lemon: That is all. Nothing else.
Rachel: Do Republicans even know what loopholes are? Like, what that word means? I feel like they think they might be imaginary woodland creatures, like snipes.
Carmen: Yes, it’s how they get elected
Rachel: “We’re going to fix taxes by finding the loopholes! They’re out there. Somewhere.”
Carmen: Also what you said about Ryan making fat jokes is so true
Rachel: “No one wants that.” — Martha
Rachel: The whole philosophy of the GOP is so wrapped up in ideology of strength and weakness, which makes me so sad
Rachel: Not to get all touchy-feely on you but I feel so sad about the ways in which we’ve conflated self-sufficiency and militaristic might with strength
And peace and helping each other out as “weakness”
Carmen: I hate that failing due to circumstances outside of your control —
Failing because of institutional barriers
Failing because of poverty
Failing because of anything that is out of your hands
And when I say failing I mean like, failing to be a billionaire? To eat? To make it?
Is your fault
Rachel: Is “weak”
Carmen: And it makes you like, a bad person
Like why does that make me a bad person
I’m unemployed it’s cause YOU GUYS who are bad people, and you don’t give a fuck about me
Timely: “They Don’t Really Care About Us” by Michael Jackson.
Rachel: “The gains we’ve gotten?” What have we gained from all these wars, exactly?Haha I just noticed Martha’s water glass has a cocktail straw in it. Am secretly hoping that’s because it’s a cocktail
Carmen: I like joe biden just like lingering
Rachel: I love that Martha is making it explicit that Ryan won’t give a timeline
He’s kind of floundering now
Carmen: He is failing
And not in the weak way…
In the dumb way.
Rachel: He just doesn’t have an answer
Carmen: I think it’s unfair to say the Taliban are going to “take advantage” of our timeline
We need a timeline and we need to leave.
We went to kill Osama / Saddam, it’s all over, let’s give it up
We got the blood, we made some positive change, let’s empower some people to do their shit
Rachel: Also trying to deflect responsibility by waving a vague scary thing is just so done
Carmen: Yes, it’s sooo done. I’m so over that
The Taliban existed before, they exist now, they exist.
Gangs exist! THE KKK EXISTS!
Murder is wrong!
Rachel: “Let me try to illustrate this, because I think it can be a little confusing” I appreciate your treating us like children, Ryan, I feel so much more reassured now
Carmen: Except when he does it it’s like he’s telling me a story. A fake story. I like that he is dropping names of regions to make up for when Romney fucked them up
Rachel: “Let’s move to another war.”
Carmen: I love this question
“WHY NOT START MORE WARS”
Rachel: I just laughed out loud
Carmen: But how could that even be possible
Painting a picture about “fighters spilling in”
I also kind of think they want to fight so we lose, and so we leave. So we should just leave?
Rachel: “What would my friend do DIFFERENTLY? You notice he never answers the question.”
House of Biden, bringing realness
Carmen: HOLY SHIT ABORTION
Rachel: Oh good, Catholicism
Can’t wait to talk about this
Also why does religion have any place in this debate?
Carmen: “I don’t think a peron can separate their personal life or their faith from their politics.” – Paul Ryan said this, Biden won the debate. The end.
D00d this is some basic shit
Rachel: YOU SHOULD NOT HOLD PUBLIC OFFICE
SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED
Asshole, I don’t care about your kid
Your kid is not going to be vice president
Rachel: Your feelings about her are not valid here
Carmen: Fuck ya kid
Dude Biden’s kid DIED
So fuck him
I’m just gonna keep bringing that up
Rachel: “Assaulting the religious liberties of this country”
I cannot roll my eyes hard enough
Taxpayer money going to Planned Parenthood isn’t the same thing as it going to abortion, asshole.
God, it is so good to hear a politician say “I refuse to impose this on others”
“Let me make it absolutely clear” is OG Obama
Oh FUCK YES bringing up the “forcible rape” issue
Shine a LIGHT on that bullshit
Oh that question was so good — Is abortion gonna remain legal? I would very much like to know
Carmen: I LOVED THAT Q
Rachel: God, Biden killed that question. He is so right about Supreme Court justices.
I was thinking how weird it is to say like
“I like life, except in three instances”
Like I feel like that’s almost weirder than just supporting abortion
To say “no, except the following lives are not worthy of being fought for”
Rachel: That’s so true
Also, wow, really bringing it full circle. “Are you ever embarrassed by the tone of this campaign?”
Carmen: I love it
She done good
She done good.
Rachel: I wanna buy her a drink
Carmen: I have a lil mudslide left, I’ll pour it out
Wow, Ryan calling Obama negative is HILARIOUS
“The string of broken promises”
“STRING OF LIES”
Rachel: There is just virtually no relationship between reality and Ryan’s statements in this debate
Carmen: HIS RESPONSE IS TEARING PEOPLE DOWN
Rachel: The collective response to this question is making me sad
It seems like the idea is “well, i’ve been negative because my opponent is just so awful I can’t help it! LET ME PROVIDE EXAMPLES.”
Wow, really? Trying to front like Obama is the one who won’t give a specific plan?
That’s pretty ballsy
Carmen: This is bad because Joe Biden’s speech was moving (“it will be okay. It will be okay.”) But Paul Ryan is looking at the camera
And I know that’s a good thing to do because college
Rachel: Because college
Are they going to hug like Obama and Romney hugged?
Because that was so gloriously uncomfortable
Carmen: That was homosexy
Paul Ryan just sounded way too scripted / robotic so
Rachel: I feel like he’s trying to sell me a used car. Aw, handshake, no hug. Kind of a serious arm squeeze though
Carmen: Oooh ~sensual
It is a used car. It’s a recycled car that doesn’t run but it looks nice for 5 seconds
Rachel: Ok, I feel like it needs to be acknowledged that aside from the 5 minutes spent on abortion, the glaring question of women’s issues didn’t get any screen time
NO GAY Q
What even are gay people
Also tho we can totes acknowledge that biden won
Carmen: Biden pwned a bitch
It is official, Biden hath owned
Rachel: I’m going to send him an edible arrangement
Sign my name in the card
And that’s all she wrote, folks! Join us again for the next Presidential debate on October 16. In the meantime, check out the fact-checking on this debate as well as the White House’s clarifications, and of course, Ann Friedman’s GIF coverage. (Also, if you haven’t seen this yet, go ahead and check it out. It will help.)