FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: What Are You Thankful For?

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Y’all! Howdy! I am so glad it’s Friday. The only concrete plan I have for this weekend is to eat pizza tonight with my roommates, and to hang out in this open thread with YOU, which is the only plan that really matters. In the meantime, I’m getting excited for next weekend, also known as


Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. My family gets along remarkably well, and all the better when there are four kinds of pie to think about. Here’s us at Thanksgiving 2012, the year I ate at least half the pan of green bean casserole by myself:


I’m extra super thankful for these people <3

That was also the Thanksgiving when I walked in on my mom telling my friend Andrew that she thought I was bad at sports when I was a child. I was really bad at sports as a child, but word to all parents: Never let your children know you realized how bad they were at their after school activities or they will scowl at you while they put marshmallows on yams. No one should ever have to be unhappy while handling marshmallows.

Thanksgiving is also the official kick off of the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year ™, but is its own special and beautiful day. If you already have your tree up I think you are wrong — GIVE THANKSGIVING ITS SPACE. I tried convincing my roommates of that and we ended up with this:

Brought to us by Intern Raquel, who is also responsible for the box of baby possums picture that haunts my dreams.

Brought to us by Intern Raquel, who is also responsible for the box of baby possums picture that haunts my dreams.

This is my second Thanksgiving away from my family, which is rough, but I’m pretty excited about my TG plans. On The Big Day, I’ll be at biodanza — this really spectacular Chile-born dance+movement+breathing+music practice that I found by accident over a year ago. My biodanza group and practice is one of the things about my life in Nicaragua that I am most thankful for, so it is a fitting way to spend Thanksgiving. Then, on Friday, my roommates and I are having friends and family over to eat as much food as humanly possible. Drunk chicken, gumbo, mashed potatoes and greens are all on the menu. I probably won’t make green bean casserole (*weeps*) because the ingredients would come out to about $12 here (french fried onions are a made up food, y’all). But I WILL splurge and make my famous apple pie. It is so freaking easy. Here is the recipe as provided by my grandpa’s friend Eileen:

5-7 green apples, cored and sliced
1 c of sugar (more if the apples are really sour)
1/2 t of cinnamon
mix all that together, pour it into a Pillsbury roll out pie crust, throw some slices of butter on there, top it with another crust, sprinkle the crust with sugar, bake at 350 for one hour. Top with Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream (or some inferior brand of vanilla I guess if you’re into that). ENJOY.

What are y’all thankful for this November? What are your plans for the most blessed, gluttonous holiday weekend? If you’re not celebrating Thanksgiving for political reasons or because you live somewhere other than the U.S., tell me about your life! Show me your face! I can’t wait. xoxo

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Adrian is a writer, a Texan and a Presbyterian pastor. They write about bisexuality, gender, religion, politics, music and a whole lot of feelings at Autostraddle and wherever fine words are sold. They have a dog named after Alison Bechdel. Follow Adrian on Twitter @adrianwhitetx.

Adrian has written 153 articles for us.


  1. I am really thankful for all of the wonderful supportive people in my life who have helped me navigate my anxiety and panic in the past year. They are just the best ever. And really patient. Also I’m definitely thankful for Valium.

    In addition, I simply cannot choose in the pie vs cake war because they are equally wonderful in their own special snowflake ways.

    • Agreed, that whole navigating anxiety thing is super useful. Do you think you’re more patient, too, from having navigated this? I think you just have to keep doing the next right thing. That is all.

  2. So wow guys, it’s been a while since I joined in here. I’m sick with the palsy. Or a cold. Or something. I didn’t go to work today because I am sick. This NEVER happens. I had non-communicable pneumonia this summer and I worked through the whole 4 weeks of it. I’m growing as a person! :D Taking space when I need it and shit.

    Maybe this is something I am learning from my NEW GIRLFRIEND WHAAAAAAAT yes, that has happened and is in the very slow process of continuing to happen. She’s a take it slow kind of girl. I don’t know what to do with that. So I took up meditating, and it’s divine. Life is good.

    Thanksgiving is around the corner, and even though I’m living in Ottawa, my family gathers in the capital, and this year they’re coming to my house! Woo! I plan on making so many good things, including an amazing vegetarian mousaka I made this week. Any of ya’ll got some tasty veg-heavy (ie not carb dense – I’ve got lots of those) non-tofu recipes, please share them! I wants them! Like a carp wants a pelican. Or… maybe? I don’t know. I may be a little silly because I haven’t socialized at all today, what with being home alone. My roommate walked in and we have talked more than we have in the 7 months he has lived here, and now he is hiding in his room. I have literally been waiting allll day for this thread so I can talk at you!!

    Have a crazed pic of me drinking tea! HINT: My initials are LA

    • You need lentils! You can add pretty much any vegetable to them and it only makes everything more awesome.

    • LOLAU YOU’RE HERE! YAY! I’ve missed you.

      I’m loving that headwrap in your picture. Weee girlfrieeend!!

      I have a lot of recipes but they mostly just involve roasting. Highly recommend roasting everything. BUT if you’ve only got a few minutes: broil some asparagus! It gets kind of crispy on the ends and is so so delicious. Put some salt, pepper, and olive oil on top of it, then stick it on the top rack of the oven, set to broil. I actually keep the oven door open while I’m doing this so that you can really make sure it isn’t burning. Usually it takes like 3-5 minutes? Super easy, no carbs or tofu in sight.

    • Super simple – fry some chopped up leeks in olive oil, add chopped apple, then kale. Stir in crumbled feta. Deeelish. You can modify quantities to suit, but roughly same amount of leeks and kale, and half quantities of apples and feta. Takes about 15- 20 mins.

      So glad things are going well – that’s awesome! You’re awesome!!!

  3. I am thankful that I am 100x happier than this time last year, when I was in my first year of grad school and becoming aware of the fact that I was failing 2/3 of my classes. Now I’ve learned how to study and will not be close to a panic attack during my whole trip home, and won’t have to spend every free moment in a Starbucks studying.

    Also Im going to see the Hunger Games tonight and thankful for Jennifer Lawrence.

    • That’s awesome! I am specifically taking a year off of school to learn how to cope with anxiety and create good habits so that I will have the discipline to study well. Tell me your secrets!

      • I feel like I don’t really have good habits? The only two I really follow are if I have something really important to do I do not go home under any circumstances because I just end up watching Netflix (so I either sit in my office or go to Starbucks) and I try to pack my own lunch or at least a bunch of healthy snacks every day because otherwise I end up eating crap from our campus center and that makes me feel lethargic after a few days.

      • I had a lot of anxiety going through school. I used essential oils as my security blanket. Vetiver and patchouli are just a few calming oils. Mind you, I still don’t rush to sit in the middle of the row at a theater or class but I do a lot better! I finally have gotten cool w/ me. Lolau, you have a good heart; I take your responses to other people as an indication of that. People will come in and out your life; you are the constant. Treat yourself well, be kind, and have confidence in you. That’s it…self love and oils (sounds dirty but true)! :D

  4. I’ll be thankful when this effing cold has finally passed..
    Anyways, I’m grateful that I had the courage (and pushy friends) to quit my job a few months back, effective this November,and life has turned into some freelance adventure, where I don’t know where it’s going to take me in a few months’ time.
    These days (when I’m not sick,gah!) I’m working the ER, and most days, I feel like I don’t need a TV anymore, I learn about life and Love and everything, and sometimes I’m just grateful for my patients teaching me?
    Well, don’t tell anyone, that might make me sound like a nerd:-)
    But it IS nice, if things still have a bit of wonder about them before getting routine.
    I’m also kind of grateful to not be so unhappy about being alone anymore.
    Everyone and their friend’s friend has been reproducing and settling and marrying and that got to me for quite a while.
    But now,that I’m calmer and more relaxed and taking better care of myself, I find,that I don’t need anyone to do these things for me(although someone to bring me tea, instead of making it for myself would’ve been kind of nice this past week) and that a large part of that loneliness was something I missed within myself.
    So gratitude for being able to be thankful and a bit more Zen and Life in General I guess.
    Maybe next year I won’t forget all about that US holiday, pop a giant, happy bred, organic turkey in the oven and invite my German friends over.
    I wish all of you a great Holiday with plenty of stuffing and what not.

    • This is great. I want to hug this post. You continue to inspire me. I’ve also got a cold or the dread Martian virus or somesuch, and I have been parked in my kitchen all day because I’m too tired when I go upstairs to come back down. Bathroom conveniently attached to kitchen. We can do eet!

  5. I’m thankful for the new friends I’ve made this year – turns out when I’m open to new friends and put the tiniest bit of effort in, they are right there! I now have people I am close enough to to confide in and have fun with when I’m here at uni, not just when I go home and see old friends.

    So has anyone tried Dattch yet?

    I’ve downloaded the app but haven’t got round to actually signing up yet… I’ve never used anything like this for dating before… Any opinions or advice very welcome!

    • Funny how that whole friend thing works! :D I don’t know what Dattch is, but it sounds like a noise you make when you almost step in poop. Is that a good or bad omen?

  6. Firstly, I am thankful to be ndn, and for my ancestors whose strength got them through the first “Thanksgiving” and every one thereafter. I’m also thankful that the lives lost due to the genocidal imperialists who celebrated the first Thanksgiving, that the earth was blessed by their presence, however short.
    As for what I’ll be doing next Thurs, I’ll be making my first turkey and pie and awaiting the phone call that says my uncle, who has AIDS, has died. Meh.

    • I wish you the continued blessing of the strength and courage of yourself and all your ancestors. May you find hope and have love to draw upon.
      May of all of us work hard to make this a fairer world that honors you, all native peoples, and all those who are oppressed, so that everyone can participate in this world’s bounty.

  7. Audrey, your family is totally cute and sweet, and so are you and your roommates. I love it! Also, this is amazing: “No one should ever have to be unhappy while handling marshmallows.” I’m listening to Christmas music and just as I was thinking I should say this to you, the lyrics “it’s a marshmallow world in the city” played, and your statement became doubly true!

  8. I’m thankful I moved to Chicago two years ago (still thankful… it saved my life) and found my chosen family through the kink/poly/queer community here, and was able to heal myself in the process.

    I’m thankful for living authentically and honestly. I’m thankful for forgiveness.

    And I’m also super thankful for the two super brilliant and hot queer girls my man friend and I are dating together. It’s like, the warmest, snuggliest, queerest bundle of love in our house all the time.

    (Finally, I’m thankful I’ve learned to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and to just be present and to accept love in all its many forms.)

    • Oh, that sounds lovely! I agree with the being present in the moment thing. I’m also always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think this time I’m just going barefoot.

  9. Short-term: I’m thankful I kicked my accounting exam’s ass and got a 93% on it! Boom!

    I’m also thankful that despite a divorce, losing both grandmothers and not getting a single second round interview during recruiting this year, I have a family that loves me, a job and boss that are super supportive, and great friends that encourage my nerdy side. The challenges make us stronger, or some motivational crap like that.

    Also, random thought last night at the champagne bar while sipping a glass of birthday bubbles: I really need to go on a date. With a lady. Or just get laid.

    • Wow that does sound like a downer of a time. Both nans in a year is rough. I’m sorry to hear. It’s harder to appreciate things when you know that the constants in your life will always be there no matter what, and you suddenly lose a portion of that. But slowly, there are additions to that foundation, too, or family members unexpectedly fill in that space and get closer in the shared loss and suddenly you’ve gained in ways you didn’t think you could. It sounds like you have that kind of family.

      In other news, Happy Birthday! And yes, everyone should get laid. It’s on Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs and everything

    • Oh! And I came out to a fellow fraternity member at bowling tonight – I was rubbing his back and he made a comment about how he hangs out with us straight people too much (he’s gay). My reply was, “Don’t assume I’m straight.” He was a little surprised, but okay with it. I have to say it felt good to finally say that to someone. :D

      • I’m planning on going to A camp this year finally and if this is happening someone get a hold of me and I will legit bring flowers up from the flowermart in LA I am not even kidding I would love love love to do this

      • YOU GUYS. I’m so sorry. We were kidding. Not that Audrey isn’t a magical human being obvs I’d put a ring pop on that ANY TIME

        • WE WEREN’T TOTALLY KIDDING. Totes thankful for each other, super excited about our future together as tiny revolutionaries with excellent bangs, and also, now I really want everyone in the world to get Ring Pops.

  10. You guys, I never really say anything around my family at Thanksgiving re: what I’m thankful for because I feel like I will be judged or something about what I say but I know I can always say those things here.

    I’m thankful for this site and all you wonderful humans because we are trying to really make the world a better place with our posts and comments and also because I feel like this is my other 2nd home. I’m thankful I got to go to Camp in May and look forward to the queer normative space that is Acamp next year. I’m so grateful to have a life where I feel very comfortable with who I am.

    I don’t really have Thanksgiving day plans…I think we are going to my sister’s??? She said to bring pumpkin ale and or wine to last all day. I said apple cider and Fireball would be good.

    This week I had to pick up an extra day. It’s good overtime pay. So the holidays will be a little bit brighter. I went to the Greyscale Goods celebration party yesterday and it was AWESOME. I saw some of you guys there. You guys recognized me in the same clothes I’m wearing in my default pic here. LOL.

    Anyway. I’m sorry i don’t have any metal earth to share this week, my order got lost in the mail!! Hopefully next week I will be able to share! In the meantime, here is our cat and my wife with the cat. <3 YOU GUYS the cat caught it's first mouse on Monday, I'm so proud OMG. She didn't take a pic though. =(

  11. I’m thankful for my family. I can’t go home for the holidays – haven’t been to a Thanksgiving since 2010, or a Christmas since 2012 – but I know my family loves & supports me.

    I’m thankful for my “Japan family,” too. We have a Thanksgiving dinner planned and a turkey in a friend’s freezer, and Christmas plans, and New Year’s Eve plans. I’m thankful that we can carry on our traditions from home together and adopt some new-to-us celebrations, like KFC & Christmas cake!

  12. I am thankful for many things:

    -my family who I love even though I want to murder them sometimes

    -my adorable girlfriend even though she probs wants to murder me sometimes

    -new friends

    -old friends

    -internet friends


    bar trivia with Girlfriend and New Friend and also two dudes who wouldn’t photobomb us until we said it was okay

    -the video of Jenny Owen Youngs covering Don’t Stop Believin’

    -a long list of queers in the world whose writing and blogs and art and just general existence unknowingly helped, and continue to help, me through some really tough emotional times this year, including many of you guys, actually!

    -finally getting an A+ account

    -Carmen Esposito’s side mullet

    -weather cool enough to wear a sweater (sorry everywhere else; it’s perfect in Laguna right now)

    -that samosa recipe from last week


    -specifically, Flannel flower, which is soft and graceful and sadly also wildly expensive

    me wearing a flannel holding a bunch of flannel flower (so gay)

    -every recent picture of Kristen Stewart

    -how much I enjoy both my serious wedding designer job (it’s super creative and I’m awesome at it and I love making things all the time and yay yay yay) and my dumb retail job (at a tiny boutique where the owner is my friend’s mom and it’s so cool and so mellow

    -that I got to make this bouquet this week

    even though I was thoroughly exhausted when I made it, I think it’s one of the best I’ve ever done!

    -my favorite lifeguard at the pool who tells me I’ve done a good job every morning after I swim and who genuinely inspires me to swim even when I don’t want to

    -the abundance of floral print clothing currently available

    -all of you adorable wonderful bastards

    • I’m thankful for the array of photos you always post.
      I LOVE that bouquet; it’s so gorgeous.

      And I am so with you on the recent Kristen Stewart photos.

      I didn’t used to get what the thing with everyone being into her was all about.

      I get it now.
      Like, really get it.

    • Those flowers are beautiful!

      ALSO I want to second, third, one-million this thankfulness for recent pictures of Kristin Stewart. Preach.

    • I really love all your flower posts. I think it’s brilliant that you’re doing what you want to do with your life, in a place where you are wearing light sweaters, making truly beautiful bouquets, and spending time answering trivia with a girlfriend who will probably not murder you.

      • Yes! I am pleased with all of these things. They mostly balance out the often overwhelming feelings of being horrible at being an adult and still living at home and being turned down for a car loan and general feelings of inadequacy all over the plaaaace

        Anyway I’m trying to focus on the good things! Trying. /trying/

        and Lolau, you complete me with that picture

    • So I haven’t commented on this before but I always see your flower photos and they make me happy. They’re stellar.

      Also I’m pretty sure I never had an appreciation for recent pictures of Kristen Stewart until Autostraddle happened and now I really do.

    • Jane, these bouquets further solidify my love for flowers. Thank you so much for sharing. I always notice that your comments have this positive vibe, which is freakin’ awesome.

      Also, I think it’s pretty obvious you were born a flower fairy wedding designer.

  13. i am grateful for all the people in my life who are comfortable with grief and allowing me the space (and kleenex) to regain some equilibrium. eventually.

  14. I am thankful for you guys (bats eyelashes at u all), for all the support i’ve received from everyone who’s given it, for my wonderful friends who have stayed by me through everything, for these blankets keeping me warm in my freezing cold room, for my genuinely awesome doctor through all this (why doesn’t he have an outpatient practice whiiine), for showers & water in all its forms, for comics, for my shiny smartphone (i had a flip phone up until June), for good books, for Andrea Gibson’s poetry (because fuck), for nice socks, for good rich red lipstick, for glittery makeup (glitter eyeshadow!!!!), for flowered shoes, for leggings, for good boots, for art, for hugs, for Tori Amos’ music, for coffee

    & yeah. c:

    For Thanksgiving we will be watching the MST3K livestream again, because seriously that made last year the best Thanksgiving.

    I don’t have a life, so i don’t have anything to talk about, except that i was talking to a new acquaintance about kissing & i think we made the both of us a little sad & i suggested a kissing booth. I am not cute, or pretty, or attractive, or hot, but you close your eyes anyway, right? Badum tssssssssssssssssss thank u thank u im here all week

  15. I’m thankful (and excited and super impatient!!!) that for the first time in my life I have a grown-up full-time job and therefore the money and freedom to go to A-Camp when it next happens. (When is it happening???)

    Also I came out to someone important to me almost a year ago now, and there was a little while there when I thought that everything was ruined forever, so I’m thankful that in fact nothing was ruined forever. I’m glad I came out to him and I’m thankful for that because I’m not always glad about coming out.

    • Wow, the job thing and the getting to go to A-Camp are both super awesome things! What kind of job, if I may be so nosy?

      Also, I hear you on the coming out thing. Sometimes I come out to clients and regret it, and then it’s okay because they have dementia and only remember sometimes that they’re a little mad at me for existing, so ya know :>

      • It’s a back-end job in higher education, which is a really good fit for my introverted self.

        I don’t mean to make light of dementia, but coming out to people with dementia actually sounds like a really good way to practice (if you aren’t very good at coming out, which I’m not)! It must take some pressure off to know that even if it goes badly, you basically get a do-over.

  16. I’ve been eating green bean casserole all week and this weekend I’m probably gonna make apple pie! Can you tell I’m excited for Thanksgiving…

    I’ve actually been really busy all week because I’m working extra hours to make up for the hours I’ll be gone for Thanksgiving. The joys of having a temp job with no paid holidays. I’m actually really thankful for my job though. I wake up in the morning excited to go to work.

    Also thankful for: Autostraddle, hats, Kroger Free Friday coupons, the crossing guard who’s always really happy to see me when I’m walking to work in the mornings, Lipton tea, my friends near and far, my mom who texts me to make sure I’m safe/warm enough/etc. every time there’s any kind of extreme weather in my city, and my dad who will have long discussions with me about the U.S. political system, an article I read in the paper, or how to save money for retirement always with the utmost patience and love.

  17. I was never super into Thanksgiving until I moved 3,000 miles away from my family and found out that holidays (and basically all the other days too) don’t HAVE to end with everyone yelling and crying and blaming each other for the yelling and crying.


    In my new and improved life, for the second year in a row, my partner and I are hosting a potluck dinner with folding tables, mismatched plates and silverware, CRAFTS, booze, and 14 fucking beautiful people who have no family but each other in PDX.

    Specifically, I am particularly thankful for the following things and stuff and humans:

    -My partner, who shows me every day that I am worthy of love, and that I am much more capable of loving another person than I expected I would be at this point in my life.
    Also she is incredibly good looking and that doesn’t hurt the situation.

    -Properly fitting bras, which I finally got myself this summer after coming across a youtube video that teaches you how to fit yourself.
    You guys, I was wearing the wrong size for like 850 years because the people in the stores have no idea what’s going on. MY SHOULDERS ARE SO HAPPY AND MY BOOBS LOOK AMAZING.

    -My coworker’s recipe for amaretto cranberry sauce, which absolutely killed last year at Thanksgiving, and which I’m obviously going to make a truckload of this week.

    -My dog, Henry, because he is the handsomest boy on planet earth after Taylor Hanson and Michael B. Jordan. Also that Zayn kid from One Direction is pretty fucking cute too.

    -My three smart, hilarious, grown-ass sisters, who I love more than I ever thought I could when I was in high school and they were annoying toddlers whose existence I deplored.

    I am going home for Christmas this year, which is going to be probably really awful, BUT!! I don’t care because I have almost convinced them to all get matching tattoos with me because the youngest is turning 18 in 3 weeks and now we are all adults together and it’s so awesome and I’m cry-typing this because of all the love and respect and admiration that I keep for them INSIDE MY HEART.

    There’s so much more, you guys, but I have a lot of cheetos to eat while I watch Pushing Daisies with my dog.

    Happy Everything Forever!!!!

    • This was truly great. I laughed, I laughed again, and then when you were crying I laughed a little, too. I am thankful for this post. Especially this part, “Also she is incredibly good looking and that doesn’t hurt the situation.”

    • Pretty sure it’s not the holidays until someone has a mental breakdown

      also your comment has me snort laughing for real

  18. I am amazingly grateful for my wife having a job!!! That is meaningful to her!!! It’s a large Native-run organization for Native health care (some of you may remember my excitement when she got the job!) – when there are HR problems these are resolved through group healing with an Elder, and Community invovement is one of the tenets of Healthcare.
    So so happy for her, and of course incredibly grateful for her every moment of my life.

  19. I missed my class yesterday and my lab time today because I was sick.
    For right now I am thankful for electric blankets, little trashcans, sea salt and vinegar potato chips,and pho.
    One should always be thankful for pho regardless of pukeness recovering status.

    The whole I should be giving thanks for being alive 4 different ways pity party guiltfest and oh look we’re celebrating genocide rigmarole will be saved for later.

  20. Upon reflection, I realize more often than not I’ve spent my past thanksgivings away from home. Last year, I got to spend a great friendsgiving at home with my queers, but the year before that I was also abroad, lost, semi-heartbroken and shoehorning my way into other people’s friendsgiving celebrations. I ended up in Brooklyn at the house of a friend of a friend and watched the stars on the roof and talked about my dreams. It was unexpected and it was beautiful and I was somehow brave enough to figure out the metro.

    This year will be another moment of unexpected beauty and new friendships, far from home. I’m feeling preemptively sappy and thankful for the people I’ve been able to meet and the places I’ve gotten to see while I’ve been in Nicaragua. Thanks for letting me into your home, Audrey!

    ALSO you’re welcome for making a beautiful thanksgivinsmas tree out of nothing but stray electrical wire, christmas lights, and paint. I’ll forgive your LACK OF GRATEFULNESS because I have bombarded you with creepy possums, to be fair.

    I’m also so excited and grateful and happy to join the AS team, even if just to lurk on slack. This has got to be the coolest, funniest, and most heartfelt group of queers around.

  21. Oh. I have quite a bit to be thankful for this year.

    I’m thankful for the opportunity to be where I am right now – sitting in my first post-college studio apartment two days before starting my first big-girl full-time job. (The black & white cookie and peppermint hot chocolate I’m currently snacking on is lovely, too)

    I’m thankful for the support I’ve had along the way from family, friends, and future & former co-workers. The place I left in my hometown meant a lot to me, but I can already tell that this move is going to be worth it.

    I’m thankful to be able to go see a movie just because I can. (Side note: if you have a chance to see the comedy “Appropriate Behavior,” about an Iranian bisexual trying to live life after she & her girlfriend broke up, GO SEE IT. It’s so great.)

    And I’m thankful for the opportunity to yell at the TV during 20/20. It’s the little things. (To my neighbors…sorry not sorry.)

  22. This is going to be (purposefully) vague, as each of these things has deep meaning- I’m thankful for:
    -the NYC subway (when it’s running)
    -the opportunity to keep changing and learning and appreciating life
    -those cute people I know I can’t be with but are okay with me flirting with them
    -using writing/theatre to express my experiences, questions, thoughts, and feels
    -that the writing/theatre I used to explore all the above is leading me to my off-Broadway debut
    -my growing confidence
    -my dog, as per usual

  23. I am thankful for: Pretty excited it’s fall break

    – my amazing family
    – success in my schooling and my acceptance to Metro State
    – living up to my own expectations.
    – also all the amazing people I have in my life

  24. Like I know everyone ever has said this already but may I just say I am SO THANKFUL for this site and all the amazing people working on it. So very thankful.

  25. I am so thankful for this site, its become a home for me.
    I am also thankful that I have an awesome friend willing to go camping with me on the coast in N California tomorrow for my birthday. Its going to be cold and wet but I’m excited. This week has been so many good things right after each other.
    -My schools library had a book sale and I got lots of stuff for really really cheap
    -on Wednesday Laverne Cox gave a lecture at my school!!!!!! I am still blown away <3
    -I had an amazing breakfast with my roommate this morning
    -its my birthday tomorrow and i get to go camping! and have smores! with cookie butter on them!!!! <3

    • WAIT, LAVERNE COX WAS AT YOUR SCHOOL!? I am so happy for you, for everyone.

      I hope your camping trip goes super well, happy birthday!!

  26. Okay, so things I am actually thankful for kind of missed my original post (and subsequent post admiring the original original poster)

    Things I am thankful for:
    -My home. The rooms really are like the chambers of my heart. It is where I rest and where I rise and I have never had a home so utterly peaceful and wonderful.

    -My sisters, best friends, and all their offspring.


    -My new friends, who have taught me more than I thought possible. That extends to Autostraddle, a place that makes me feel like I’m at home. And you know how I feel about my home. :)

    -Lube. Honestly.

    -Gay rights expansion this year.

    • I as well am very thankful for snow. Most of the people I know complain about it endlessly but I’ve always found something about it rather magical.

    • I am also thankful for snow. I love a light dusting over the festive period and am sure I won’t be seeing any this year which does make me sad.

    • I hated driving in snowstorms and their aftermath, but Jeez Louise do I ever miss that cold biting winter smell permeating the air.
      You’ve made me very homesick for disgusting east coast winters.

      Also the way you feel about your home is beautiful and it made me cry, which is only 40% because of PMS.
      You got me right in the gut with the feels on that one.


  27. I’m thankful I get to spend Thanksgiving (which is also my favorite holiday!) with my dad’s wonderful family this year. I haven’t seen them in two years and I miss them all the time. I’m thankful for my amazing girlfriend. I’m thankful for Autostraddle, even though I barely ever comment, because I’m usually super behind on posts. I’m thankful for having a good support system, a comfortable home, generous parents, and the ability to get the help I need. I’m thankful for community. I’m thankful for yummy food.

    I’m also thankful that tomorrow (technically right now) is my birthday! And that my birthday isn’t on or the day before Thanksgiving this year. :)

  28. Why thank you. The show was Xanadu, and while it was a school show and not entirely spectacular, it was still enjoyable, and the cast seemed to be having fun. I like seeing shows where people genuinely seem to love what they’re doing.

  29. Sometimes things just happen, and sometimes it’s the way you wanted them to and sometimes not, but then there’s autostraddle and everyone is there for you either way

  30. Well, I said I would update you all. I took a deep breath and went to my first queer bar last weekend in SF AND….
    It was filled to the brim with straight people mating with other straight people. I was sad and confused. I talked to some of them, they were also confused why there were so many straight people. A random australian man asked me by back to his hostel. I went home and made garlic bread. Meeting girls is hard!

    But back to the point of the thread, I am thankful for turning 22 yesterday, for many typical things that are great like family, friends, good health, etc, and for garlic bread.

  31. This website… everyone here is so welcoming and supportive. And right now, the internet is the only connection I have to the queer community.

    Having a job that offers decent health insurance (something that I fully believe every human being deserves to have access to).

    Having a sustainable job (unemployment is a very unnerving situation).

    Not needing to worry about warmth. Seriously, I am SO grateful to live someplace with indoor heating and to be financially stable enough to know that I can pay my energy bill each month. I hate the cold. Cold = anxiety.

    Living so close to so many Puget sound beaches. Seriously, I love where I live. The outdoors is so comforting to me, but especially the beach. (Though, I admit I miss all the barefoot walking now that it’s winter!) (Also: Being able to see Mt. Rainier from my kitchen window. )

    My cat who cuddles with me every night and greets me at the door when I come home from work and has the loudest purr in the world (seriously).

    ALL THE WARM WINTER CLOTHES (down vests, fleece, flannel, wool, scarves, and multitudes of hats).

    12 h shifts (or rather, the long weekends that follow).

    Also: coffee, microwaves, blankets, mechanical pencils, my iPod, hot showers, rain, and pretty sunsets (even if they happen at 4:00 pm now, grr!).

    Photos from some (cold) beach visits last week…

    • Oh my gosh, I want to jump inside those pictures right now. Beautiful.

      Great list, too! I echo all of those except I don’t have a kitty, don’t drink coffee, and don’t have good beaches nearby.

    • Sigh, I love these photos. Thank you for sharing! Makes me want to get out of my weird desert and venture into an awesome forest. B)

    • I love seeing the photos you take every week! I’ve never been to the Pacific Northwest, but it looks like a beautiful place.

    • I’m also thankful that I live in the most beautiful state in the country :) Nice pictures, what beaches are those?

  32. This year, I am most thankful for…

    – My beautiful friend (who took her own life earlier this year). I am not thankful in any way that she is gone; but for her legacy. Her determination to help everybody she could, at great personal sacrifice. How damned hard she fought to live. How, it’s not until now that I’m realising how amazing she was and the impact of her work. I’m thankful that on the shittiest days, I can hear her voice and that even now, she is helping to make me a better person.

    – My parents and their determination to love me, even when that means confronting their own ideals.

    – My faith and the journey I’m constantly on!

    So now for the lighthearted stuff!

    Last night I went to a trivia night even though my introverted self really didn’t want to and it turned out to be an amazing night. We came second after being robbed of victory by 1.5 points!!

    And I’ve just come back from seeing two rather excellent plays: ‘I still call Australia homo’ & ‘The Adventures of Ophelia Sol’. Beautifully written, magnificently acted. Both plays really highlighted the need for LGBTQ rights and made me quite emotional. Also, Ophelia married a watering can and a pineapple called Pablo, dressed in a tux. And then I told her about Tiny Pineapple and it felt like the rainbow community was very in tune. Both shows are performed by the Victorian College of the Arts Graduate class and if you can see them, GO!

    • Ellaria,
      My deepest sympathies for your loss… I am very happy that you are able to remember her with a smile, though. Stay beautiful, I’m sure you’re a wonderful friend as well<3

    • *hugs Ellaria* So sorry about your friend. Depression and mental illness can be such a cruel monster. I’m glad you’re able to find comfort in her memory.

      Wonderful to hear about your parents. And those plays sound fantastic. (I love tiny pineapple!)

  33. This has been a rough week. My mom is sick and I’ve traveled to help take care of her. I thought I’d be going home this weekend but she’s worse than she let on so now I fly back home on Thursday. Yes, I’ll spend my thanksgiving with Southwest Airlines. But I am thankful for many things.

    – that she finally is getting the medical attention she needs

    – for my amazing partner who is taking care of the kids and house alone for over a week

    – to our friends and extended family who are helping out with the kids on days she works

    – and who are planning a Thanksgiving dinner without me and my sister and taking care of myriad other details that our absence has set askew

  34. Oh, it’s been too long. Very sorry for neglecting you, Open Thread Friday…

    I am thankful for life.

    I’m thankful for family.

    I’m thankful for the 15 wonderful years my furbaby Pooch gave us before her tiny adorable body just got too tired to be this sassy anymore.

    I miss her so much but I know she’s in a good place eating all the chicken she could possibly want.

    I’m thankful for my other furbaby Rocky and how he knows just when to come cuddle.

    I’m thankful for high school friends that you accidentally on purpose outed without really knowing what that is because you didn’t really want to admit that you were a giant queermo as well forgiving you and all your assholery and wanting to rekindle friendships. Also thankful that this friend has a highly disposable income and excellent taste in liquor.

    I’m thankful for my students and all that they’ve taught me about myself, life, and a population I’m not necessarily used to working with. I love them all so much!

    I’m thankful for Autostraddle and the queer community I now feel a part of and also for the brand new Fan Fiction Friday feature. Praise.

    • Yay, my favorite Virgo is here!
      Thank you for the furbaby loveliness – and for using the word queermo, which is such a happy purply-orange kind of word.
      Have a great weekend!

  35. The problem with disappearing is that the people you leave behind never stop searching for you. And instead of reaching out and finding you, all we have is a handful of thin air.

    This world desperately needs your voice. It needs your courage. It needs you, because your struggle will help to create a safer space for those that are following behind.

    Al, seriously, if you need help, please ask for it.

  36. I hope you don’t mind an Aussie gatecrasher. We don’t have a day dedicated to giving thanks, and that seems a bit sad. I promise we’re not ungrateful people!

    Anyway, I’m thankful for all of the little things that have helped me make it through a pretty rough year. Good music, good books, good comedy, GOOD CATS. Cats are so great.

    I’m also thankful that the Universe is being a total boss and denying me things that I only THINK I want, and then delivering something even better in time. Genius.

    Enjoy your holiday!
    Also, cats.

  37. I don’t feel very thankful for Thanksgiving, but maybe that’s just the curmudgeon in me. I’m thankful for…

    This weird and wonderful article that made me think a lot more about my internet passwords:

    Ankle boots

    Office hours with cute professors

    Marriage equality

    Learning how to make flirty eye contact in public (it’s a work in progress)

    Cold, quiet mornings when it’s too early for anyone else to be up

    Rachel Maddow

  38. I am a crabapple about holidays, including thankstaking, but I appreciate a good gratitude practice.

    things I appreciate in no particular order:

    my girlfriend has been gone for work for 5 weeks, she is getting home today, this is great. MAKEOUTS.

    my doofus dog, who is a floor-peeing doofus that does not respect the personal space of my dinner, but is an adorable doofus all the same.

    I have been hitting the library hard lately for books and also studying stuff for my new job doing geriatric stuff, and am learning about stuff like dementia and hoarding and fighting among siblings with old parents. THE SEATTLE LIBRARY IS SO AMAZING YOU GUYS. Also a bunch of my friends are librarians, they are the greatest.

    Oh, and I fell off my roof this week, and only kinda hurt myself, and so that is great, and then I got cheap community acupuncture from this very kind Probably Gay acupunturist, and friends were very forthcoming with asking me how I was and if they could help, that was also very sweet.

    I had a weekend trip to a cabin with some friends last weekend and I had gotten myself worked up about Will They Get Along What Will We Eat but it all went beautifully. Everybody had a great time. We had bourbon hot chocolate and walked around on beaches and had naked hot tub time and my dog came and mostly behaved herself.

    Oh, and this winter I appreciate my slow cooker. For sure.

    Also, my mom has had a succession of surgeries, but they have turned out okay, and she is pretty much getting better, that’s very good too.

    And our relationship isn’t perfect but she also really gets my relationship with my girlfriend, and is real supportive, and will sometimes be like “teerexington I think that one is your fault” and I will be like “UGH FINE PROBABLY WHATEVER.”

    also I am building a tentative bridge with gf’s brother, her family has not always been totally stoked about me (or really her mom, and sometimes her brother) and now we are getting married, but now that that is happening gf’s brother seems to be making an effort, and while I cannot treat him the way I treat my brothers because he is not used to that sort of rough handling, I appreciate that we seem to be both trying.

    uhhhhh what else. OH YOU GUYS. I just realized salted caramel gelato from tj’s was SO GOOD, and I have been making baked apples lately and together HELLO, AMAZING.

    also sorry I am a jerk but I am glad that the cold and gray has come back to the pacific northwest. I appreciate the demarcations of seasons.

    also I have been motoring through all the free lesbian webseries on the internet, most recently I had never seen that one Kelsey before (pretty ridiculous, but also, funny/great Maya Rudolph look alike, and big ups for a semi-diverse cast)

    also I found the greatest little cafe and when gf is home and can sit upright I am going to take her there. gays, take note! cafe besalu is perfect! and is right next door to the tall grass bakery, which is one of the few places you can buy many kinds of pumpernickel and rye bread in Seattle.

    • WHOA so many things to be grateful for! :D I dig. I hope everything goes well for you next week.
      I too love the cold grey weather. I wish there was more where I lived! Also, salted caramel gelato is supremely delicious. BUT WITH BAKED APPLES!? This means you are a genius.

      • but you live in CA! if I were to live anywhere else, I would live there, I have a big ol’ crush on the California coast.

        Yes my dude. Baked apples. The easiest dessert ever. Make yourself some. You deserve it.

    • Hello fellow rain-loving Seattle neighbor! (Actually, I’m south in Tacoma, but still close.)

      I am glad the rain has returned too. I mean, I miss my barefoot beach walks… but I really do find the stormy grey weather comforting. So peaceful, soothing, grounding. It’s what keeps everything so beautiful and green here. And our Pacific NW summers would’t be nearly as special if it weren’t for the long rainy winters. (Plus, winter clothes > summer clothes, imo.)

      I have fallen in love with my slow cooker this fall. It is pretty much the only way I cook meals. So easy and warm for the cold days. :) AND YES to the baked apples too!

      • hi neighbor! I like tacoma a lot, it might be my long-term house-buying life plan, tho who knows.

        yes! it is very cozy! slow cookers and making fires and knitting!

        • I’ve lived in both cities, and even though Seattle has a reputation of being the “cooler” of the two, I actually think Tacoma is a bit underrated and has a lot to offer (plus, I did a lot of growing here, so this city has a special place in my heart!) In my experience, apartments are a lot cheaper here than in Seattle (and I assume the same would be true for houses).

  39. Woof, I haven’t commented in like, over 2 months. Been super busy with school and…college stuff. It feels good to get out of my lurking mode and say something, even if I’m a lil late. :)

    Here’s what I’m thankful for:

    – my family
    – friends, even the white cis hetero male ones whom I have to explain to why feminists are angry
    – my teachers! I wouldn’t be able to pursue my dreams without them
    – Autostraddle. I’m always amazed that we all have this amazing, friendly queer space here. Honestly, it’s the main reason I even go online anymore.
    – Ladies who love ladies
    – pizza and chocolate milk
    – A SPECIFIC FRIEND AND THEIR SISTER FOR TAKING ME TO SEE TEGAN AND SARA IN HOLLYWOOD!!! ALL EXPENSES PAID. Guys it was so wonderful…they played my favorite songs and sigh. It feels like it was a dream. A dream with hundreds of lesbians. Shout out to any straddlers who attended the concert. (There has to be at least one of you ;) )

    Overall I’m thankful for a billion things, and I look forward to this next week! Gonna cook vegetarian courses, and bake till the pie drops. And then bake again. Hope you guys have a wonderful turkey day, as well! I love you all~

  40. It’s now Saturday night here in the Ungrateful UK where there is no Thanksgiving. However I would like to say I’m grateful every day for the roof over my head, my missus and my dog-child even though she makes me crazy. Work is extra sucky right now, plus my MA is heavy duty and without my weird little family I’d be effed. So much Thanks to be given for those two…and for Bacon.
    Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it. May your pumpkin pies be large and your Turkeys be golden, I’d say something about Yams but I have no idea what they are! :D

  41. Grateful! For so much- the three weirdo dogs I live with! our fireplace! my family! I realize a little bit every day how lucky I am to live in Portland (it’s the food you guys). I’m marrying my best friend this summer and I just bought tickets to see Cameron Esposito in January! ALSO I love sweater season.

  42. I typed up quite a long comment earlier today but my signal was bad and it didn’t post – whoops. I guess I’m late to the party. (As usual!)

    I just got back from Reclaim the Night London and I am thankful for everyone that was there tonight. I am especially thankful that the voices yelling “trans sisters are our sisters” drowned out the few hateful TERFS that unfortunately always taint these events. Solidarity is powerful. I’m thankful for all the WOC I met and spoke to tonight, too.

    I’m thankful for my amazing partner. For how they’re willing to put up with me and love me despite (and because of) all my flaws, for the wonderful healthy relationship we have (despite the distance), I’m thankful for their existence and for the fact that they are in my life.

    For my family! And my friends – their support means everything to me and I am incredibly lucky to have such good people in my life.

    For the queer community – for those who have fought before me, and for those who are fighting today. You’re all great.

    And for coffee. I’m really glad it exists.

  43. I am also thankful for this group! Such a great group of people who make me feel welcomed and wanted

    • I agree! Everyone here is so welcoming and encouraging and accepting… perhaps because many of us have fought to be accepted ourselves.

  44. I am grateful simply to be alive. Women like me have to be. It seems paradoxically so long ago while the feelings are still so familiar, when I truly believed I wasn’t going to be alive much longer, because it seemed so impossible to endure the hopelessness and emptiness for long.

    I am grateful to be alive when I am, to have met who I have. I am grateful to have any friends at all, because for a long time after I came out I had none at all.

    And I am grateful for what meager means are available to me now. For the sparse and hard-won serenity and inner peace I have, for the love I have for myself though I do not have it from anyone else, I am ever thankful, because I can never take any of it for granted, having known life without.

    I have been transitioning for one year and 13 days and I am alive.

  45. I am just so, so thankful for my friends. For their support, for their couches to sleep on, for their generosity, for the privilege of knowing such lovely people.

    I am thankful (so thankful!) for my drysuit (even though I have not yet paid for it because of lack of funds; again, I am grateful for generous friends who don’t mind waiting months for payment) because it makes paddling in the cold possible.

    I am thankful for friends who are putting me in touch with people and vouching for me to try to help me get a job after I graduate (and sometimes going out of their way to do so).

    I am thankful for adorable, dorky dogs and cats and the people that take care of them.

    I am thankful for the whitewater community. I know I complain about the prevalent sexism, homophobia, and transphobia a lot. BUT. I am so thankful to be part of a community where everyone is always looking out for each other.

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