feature image by rory midhani
Y’all! You ALL! You great, big, beautiful dolls! I am so happy that your luminous face is looking upon ye olde Friday Open Thread this week, wherein I beg you to give me a glimpse into your life in hopes that you’ll share photos of your pet – because if you show me yours, I get to show you mine. We have a Friday Open Thread every week, mostly because I’ve aged 10 years in the span of two and I like to give myself a reason to stay in. Last week, the one and only B (who is hilarious) hosted this very virtual meetup all by herself, and she made me damn proud. This week, I’m back to get it crack-a-lackin’.
And so, without further ado, LET US BEGIN.
In the past two weeks, I stayed up all night printing materials for this year’s National Young Feminist Leadership Conference (and then grabbed drinks with some A-Campers in the hotel lobby once I was done staffing it, of course), bid farewell to my one and only Geneva, and watched over five entire seasons of Frasier. Once these important tasks were complete, I realized I finally had time on my hands – a lot of time – and decided to spend it wisely, so I’m happy to report that I’ve got two self-help books in my Amazon queue, I finally bought a pair of boots and so far they have no holes in them, Eli is back to being my primary life partner, I don’t think – knock on wood – that any of my online accounts have been compromised as of right now, and every single article of clothing I own has been washed, dried, and hung on my clothing rack. I also became kind of a big deal at work, but then I couldn’t finish my celebratory bottle of champagne alone, so it was a kind of hollow victory. (Side note: did anyone else know that champagne could come with a twist-off cap, and that even those rare 8-dollar gems which do can explode all over your bed, laptop, and dog in seconds once you let some air out? You do now.)
All this to say, of course, that I’m back, bitches. I’m all yours. I’ll never leave again until the next time another Autostraddle writer heads up this weekly fiesta of friend-making flowery folks. That could be as soon as next week, but don’t think that far ahead. Live in the now. Take a deep breath and be present with me.
Now that I’m back, though, I need you to catch me up. How goes your first dates? How go your exams? How goes your quest for a sentence in this paragraph that isn’t beginning a question with “how?” Are your puppies, kittens, and capybaras doing okay? Did you realize Easter is on 4/20 this year? Is there someone more interesting than Jesus that you wish had once risen from the dead and dramatically climbed out of a cave? Are you into chili fries? I hope my hair is okay – is it too long? You can tell me if it’s too long. Oh my gosh, you totally think it’s too long. WELL IF YOU DON’T THINK IT’S TOO LONG THEN SAY SOMETHING, JEEZ.
That doesn’t even cover the full gamut of how deeply interested I am in your life, though, so let’s get down to business. I want you – yes, YOU! – to scroll a liiiiittle further down to where you see the “Post A Comment” button (it’s a really cute button! Cee spent a lot of time making these pretty buttons, you know!), click it, and write a bunch of words about yourself or your pet or the really cute barista you give good tips to at Starbucks who still doesn’t remember your regular, or your regular, or the weather, or how adorable you and your girlfriend are, or you and your partner of any gender or categorical identity, or you and your partner who does not ascribe to any labels, binaries, or spectrums at all. I am so god damn interested in your lives, y’all.
As usual, I will be here all night to comfort you, laugh with you, and post adorable photos of my dog whenever you post a picture of a beast who is not human and preferably is tinier than most adults.
There’s not a second to waste. It’s Friday, and you gotta get down on Friday. So let’s do this.
3, 2, 1 – GO!
How To Post a Photo In The Comments:
1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL,wp_postsand then…
2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code:
If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur.
*How To Post a Video In The Comments, Too:
1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.wp_postsCopy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.
2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.
3. Go forth and jam.