FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: I Made a Friend!!!

Y’all, y’all, y’all making friends is so cool! Why didn’t anyone tell me?? I just made a new friend. She has a cool name and she wears cool jewelry and she’s so smart and pretty. I feel truly blessed. I want to like, leave my house for her. This is huge. She is so much cooler than I am!!!

Friend crushes are so cool and chill kiddos, I highly suggest them. Like, regular crushes make me want to die a little bit but friend crushes just make me smile a lot! I’ve been smiling all week! I feel like spring has sprung, not just in terms of season, but in my very heart and soul!!! I love friends!!!

So pals, what’s making your heart sing sing sing this week? What’s got you spinning around in circles? Did you make a blue cake to celebrate this happy feeling (I did, and pro-tip electric blue frosting will turn everything on and in your body blue)? What have you been up to? Can’t wait to hear all about you and your fun zany lives!!!!! ?

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Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 330 articles for us.


  1. I didn’t make a cake to celebrate, but I have been feeling awesome because I fixed my own bicycle! It had been living outside undisturbed for two years, but I’m moving somewhere that I might actually use it, so I washed it, pumped up the tires, propped the whole thing up, and with the help of the internet got the chain clean and the gears shifting smoothly and now I feel EMPOWERED. So empowered that I’m in danger of throwing money to the wind and building a bike from old parts and things – I’ve always wanted to do that.

    • Oooo how did you clean the chain? I just spray mine with wd40 if its a bit stiff, and its building up with gunk that i should probably do something about.

      • I just scrubbed it with an old toothbrush, using water with just a tiny bit of dish soap in it. I had to re-grease the chain afterward of course – I didn’t use WD40, but something else I can’t remember the name of. Tedious but effective!

  2. Making friends is the best—and I suck at it as an adult. Oh dear. So. So. bAD AT IT.

    So this time last week a conversation here prompted making a writing group (About | schedule?)…which I promptly had no time to queue up. I’ll try to do that on Sunday and see about making a mirror on Autostraddle as thats what another comment suggest? I haven’t a clue if there’s any real interest–but I like building things and its no harm in building up a month of stuff and seeing what happens.

    Instead of working on that I got sucked into revising a short story to submit to fireside–and there are some fun stories there if anyone’s looking for under 4k reads or has something they want to submit under 4k by tomorrow, I think? I’ll cheer you on if you do!

    I also posted my flash fiction submission for a scifi contest. I’m a little grumpy because I realized afterwards I don’t think I properly indicated that being a dick about pronouns is not cool but I can’t change it until contest is done.

    Otherwise my life is work work work and developing my #dream writing workshop and randomly getting inspired by autostraddles food articles for a Rocco(ish) scifi futuristic story involving LGBT coming out balls? I don’t know either, but i’m digging this spring (when not calling my rep and or reading the news anyway)

  3. I’m feeling frustrated in life. It’s not one thing – it’s a general frustration. Maybe I’m in a bad mood, so everything feels frustrating? I feel like I try to be nice to everyone, and I avoid confrontation at all costs (which I know isn’t a good thing), and I feel like I need to take a stand. I let people walk all over me, and I’m getting fed up with it. I’m scared of what would happen if I started standing up for myself. For instance, I’m hearing and reading a lot of racist, transphobic, ableist bullshit, both online and in person, and I keep battling with myself if I should say something or let it go. Then I get frustrated with myself.

    I started watching 13 Reasons Why, and it’s giving me the heeby jeebies. It’s not a trigger thing for me; it’s genuinely scary (in my opinion). I want to go home and binge watch the whole thing, though.

    I saw this Broadway play, Significant Other, last week, and it was the story of my life. It’s about a gay guy whose 3 straight female best friends each get married, and he can’t seem to find love. And that’s my fatal flaw – I’m undateable. I get that I sound overdramatic, but I’ve had very little luck in the relationship world, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m in therapy, and I can’t seem to crack this.

    Both in the friendship and relationship worlds, I feel lonely. I feel like I’ve lost touch with a lot of my grad school friends, and I rarely see any of my friends because I’m working all the time, and we’re all on different schedules.

    Okay, those are my feelings for the day.

    • I feel you on that. I sometimes get that racist, trasnphobic, and ableist shit in the form of micro-aggression on dating sites and also wonder should I say something. I think sometimes for our own blood pressure best thing to do is just ignore it, cause in my case when I said it didn’t work out positive.

    • I’m sorry you’re going through loneliness, and/but I’m glad you’re here talking about it! I dunno if this is weird but I’m always happy to hear from my internet friend Rachel who puts on her own plays/musicals and sees all the Broadway plays and always posts first or second in Friday Open Thread. <3

    • Rachel, I so understand the lonely feeling. Although I’ve got many good friends, I’ve been single for what feels like forever and it’s really hard. I cry a lot. I even had a dream last night where I had a girlfriend, then woke up and bawled my eyes out. I hope you’re able to find some connection!

  4. I made a friend too! Such a good feeling.

    I also found out I’m teaching my very own class next fall (it’s not required for my grad program and it’s also not guaranteed)… I’m getting paid to teach youngins about art!! It’s a big step forward to being the art professor of my dreams <3

    • Also, on the subject of friends… I’ve gotten pretty close to an old friend and he’s been super down and depressed lately. I’m having trouble figuring out what to say to him, as I’ve never dealt with my clinical depression myself. Any advice for being a supportive and kind friend during times like these?

      • Just be there and do things with him. Maybe go outside for a walk. Grocery shopping at the farmer’s market. Cook together. Little things.

    • Congratulations on getting your own class! Not taking art or art history classes is one of my regrets about college – I was too focused on my major. Do you have a lot of freedom to decide just what you teach?

      • Thank you! The class I’m teaching is an introductory to photography so I have to go though the technical side of it, but as far as the history of it, assignments, pretty much everything else, I have complete freedom.

    • Congrats on teaching! It’s good experience, too, for future (and it sounds to me like you have a fun topic!). From my own kind of awkward first undergrad class—be willing to be flexible but don’t become a noodle or else you might end up with 101 emails in your inbox about a couple points at end of term. Midnight to seven am arguments are not worth it.

      • Truth. Multi-round discussions with students like that are exhausting, and I only had two or three like that per class. The good students, though – the ones who are interested and engaged and curious…they make all the trying days fade fast.

  5. Hello hello everyone!! I work at a pet store, so people come in with their dogs/cats/rabbits/ferrets/snakes/etc and it pretty much always makes my week.

    On Sunday, we got to meet the SWEETEST reticulated python that a customer brought in! She was ten feet long and bright yellow and GORGEOUS and her name was Athena. I fell immediately in love– she loved being handled and responded to our voices and I think she might have actually been a long dog?

    • HOW DO YOU IT?! I would be in jail right now for kidnapping/hoarding cute animals. Totally worth it?

  6. Hi friends.

    Today I’ve spent and inordinate amount of time crushing on Mhairi Black, the MP for Paisley who today announced she will stand for re-election in our snap general election in june.

    Pals, seriously. Google her, her speeches are awesome. She’s 22, was the youngest MP for over 300 years and she’s gay.

    Marry me.

    • I mean look at those shoes. You just have to trust someone wearing such sensible shoes. Especially when she says such sensible things whilst wearing said sensible shoes.

      • I don’t know why I’d not thought of her in this light before. She’s pragmatic and kind, the 2 most attractive features in a person.

  7. I’ve been pretty severally disassociating for about a week now, but the best parts of my week (when I felt more with myself/brain) were when I got to see my friends even for just a few minutes. Yesterday,I even got to see a friend that I hadn’t seen in like a month since we don’t have a class together anymore. It’s nice to have people around that I’m comfortable with and like talking to, it certainly helps me relax and focus enough to feel more present. Just wish I had more time to be around them!

  8. Alaina I’ve had a blah week that was 98% work stress which is NOT how I want to live my life, but THAT GIF made my heart sing, because I have the most massive crush on Julie Andrews (then and now), and when I am overwhelmed or crabby I google facts about her and feel great calm. I did this two days ago.

    Also, when I tutored calculus in high school, I had a lot of feelings about my lady friends being like “is this right” and not having confidence in their convictions. So whenever they asked me if they had done something correctly, I would make them sing from THAT EXACT PART of Sound of Music before I would help them. So empowering.

    I have confidence in sunshine!
    I have confidence in rain!
    I have confidence that spring will come again,
    and besides what you see, I have confidence in me!

    • Did you see that Julie Andrews got an official Facebook page recently and made an adorable intro video on it?

  9. Guess who has two thumbs and her very own brand-spankin’-new vajajay? This girl, right here :-D

    (Had surgery on Wednesday, currently slowly making my way out of bed rest. Should be out of the hospital by tomorrow. My wife’s been an absolute saint and taken great care of me while I recover. Feeling really good, all things considered!)

  10. Friends are hard, people often confuse me. Emotions are complicated. This week I’ve started a 9 month full-time therapy program, to help with regulating emotions, relationships and self image. I also hope to learn to do better at friendships (and maybe one day a relationship?) We will see what happens, it was nervewrecking but I made it trough the first 4 days and am now home for the weekend.

    At the treatment center there is a transguy and in my group there is another gay/bi girl, and everybody is very accepting of this and that makes me feel realy comfortable and happy with that part of my identity.

    Has anyone got experience with schema therapy? Like it? Any tips to make it trough the next months of crying?

  11. Hi everyone! I’m going to the Cleveland science march tomorrow! My sign says “Make Rivers Burn Again? Regulations Are Our Friends!” It also has drawing of a river on fire. Unfortunately I don’t have a picture of it yet. History lesson behind my sign: Cleveland’s river catching fire in 1969 helped inspire congress to create the Clean Water Act. Also, its much larger fire in 1952 (which is the one we actually have pictures of) flies in the face of all the MAGA believers thinking the ’50s were the best time ever.

  12. I think I have found a new group of lovely kinky women to be friends and play with, its something I have always wanted and they are so supportive and kind! Im so happy!

  13. I started a new job three weeks ago, and yesterday was crap. Utter crap. But today was good, and beyond the actual work, I got a laugh out of my boss. My weekend is saved, in other words.

  14. I’ve been helping my partner with her field work (she studies native bees) this week out in the California farmland, and I almost stepped on a rattlesnake yesterday!! Very scary! I’ve had an amazing week just hanging around, cooking really fun new foods (homemade pasta, cashew coconut curry, kumquat strawberry popsicles), doing field work, and building an outdoor rabbit hutch from scratch.
    I accepted a grad school program and found out I was nominated for (and won!) a university fellowship, so I’m really ecstatic about that too!
    Love and light to everyone!

    • NICE! What will you be studying? I’m in my last semester of grad school (crossing fingers) for early childhood education. It’s totally worth it ;)

      • That’s awesome, congrats on your last semester! My program is for molecular biology, and I’m hoping to study parasites :) this is my second year applying to grad school so I’m really happy that I finally got to accept a program. Also, your haircut is SUPER CUTE!!!

        • Awesome! I’m was a wildlife biology major at first, too. Took three years to change my mind, but we did mostly research on how birds (and bats) survived harsh, cold winters in Alaska. You will LOVE it <3 So excited for you.

  15. So I’ve had a pretty good week (yay work, yay grad school, yay friends!), but I have a friend-related question that maybe you all have some advice for. My best friend is super close with her family, but has struggled for years because they will disown her if she comes out to them (she identifies as queer/gay). She tried to tell them a few years ago, but they chose to ignore it and basically allowed her to recant her coming out. For the sake of her mental health, she’s decided to try again, but knows that the end result will be heartbreaking. I’ve been lucky–my family has been super supportive of my coming out, so I’m having trouble knowing what she’ll need from me in the next few weeks. Do any of you have tips or ideas of how to support her while she deals with probably the toughest time in her life? It’s been really difficult for her to talk about it, so I don’t want to make her tell me what she needs/overwhelm her even more than she already is.

    • Hello Z, I’m so sorry you and your friend are going through this. I can’t give advice, but I can say, based on my experience, she may her family is more accepting than she first believed. Since I came out as trans 9 months ago, my family and I have overcome some rough seas, and come out stronger because of it.

      You can help your friend nurture positive energy and love. If we give this the universe, we will find love in return. Sometimes it just takes opening our eyes a bit to find it.

    • Being in a similar situation as your friend, I can say that it was (and is – don’t ask) important that I knew my friends were there to listen if I needed to talk or distract me with a movie or pizza or whatever when I just needed to not think or provide a safe (physical) space if she’s still living at home or her family intrudes on her privacy.

      I think making yourself available and checking in regularly is important. Even if she doesn’t always have the emotional energy to respond or engage, know that the that text/message/voicemail is something she can hold on to; something that reminds her she has people.

      Good luck to you and your friend!

  16. It’s been a stressful week actually. But hey. Now it’s Friday. I made fajitas and rented Rogue One (which I haven’t seen yet!). I have a mega crush on Diego Luna. But I think it’s a gay man crush. Is that a normal queer feeling? I know, last week it was soft butch pirate, this week it’s gay man space rogues. I can’t even keep up with me.

  17. Weeeee! Making friends is the best!! I have the Friends song from Flight of the Conchords stuck in my head now (
    This week has been weird and good and terrible and weird! Is it weird that I’m super pumped my passion planner looks amazing this week though? It’s the little things, right? Currently working through getting my roller derby league’s pride event up and running smoothly (like herding cats over here though).

  18. I’m so happy you made a friend!!! Teach me your ways please? I think I could use some new ones, tbh…

    • I’m 720,and 809,shooting options for open minded,9057 suducing control over and techniques for your making a lot lot of great way for a lot more realyhorny secretvideo nifos,suducing to do secretvideo nifos loving it in deeply

  19. This is a super convenient topic. I’ve made friends with a couple and I have friend crush feelings I don’t know what to do with! Granted, I have a lot of feelings I don’t know what to do with.

    It’s been a rough week, but let’s see, two major things making me happy right now…

    1. I’ve been volunteering with OUTright Youth – the LGBTQ* group that saved me as a baby dyke. Coming back to some place I called home and working with the kids has been so…rewarding and beautiful and FUN!

    2. I’m thinking about writing more and maybe starting a blog type situation. I’m also discovering that I can kind of draw? So, I’m exploring that too!

  20. This week has been really busy but I don’t feel bad about it. I’ve been hiking a lot and feeling like my body is capable of lots of things which is a good feeling. I got to see Bernie Sanders speak on Tuesday which was really great. People seem to have a lot of feelings about Bernie and about the DNC and whether he should embrace the party after them being rather shitty to him. I just want to move past that and the fact that a progressive socialist gets so much attention is promising. Today I feel like utter garbage due to allergies, like if I didn’t know my body so well I would think I was coming down with the flu. Despite this, I’m at work, trudging on through. Tomorrow I am driving to Nashville to have a nice dinner at a restaurant that has yet to open to the public. This further proves that I will travel many miles just for a meal.

    • I will travel across town for hash browns and scones at 2:30 in the morning, so why not? Don’t fight the cravings ;)

  21. I’m missing the Science March tomorrow, sadly, but its because my girlfriend is flying here for an entire week!!!! I haven’t seen her since January!!! Is it tomorrow yet???

  22. I am happy you have a friends crush on a new friend. I hope it lasts for a long time. I’ve been personally, trying my best to make friends with others in the community, be it in person or online. Kind of working, but I need more friends closer who want to hang, vs people across the country and world.

    What right now making my heart sing is cute queers, and all the flowers, plant, and greenery in my area. Like seriously I’m not a fan of bugs, and butterflies(allergies), but for the scenery I will spend time in nature and have a wonderful time.

    How is everyone’s week going? Right I just need a little help/motivation to eat a little less, because recently I’ve been eating some of emotions and it’s giving me a that causing a mix of dysphoria and I think maybe dysmorphia. I dunno our culture(even in the lbtq community) of having really fit hairless(im middle eastern and you rarely see us, minus like two models) beach bods is a problem. I dunno, it may just take time for me.

    I had a very good Sunday at Charmlee Nature Park(in Malibu) on Sunday. Sun was out, birds were preying, and the flowers were in full bloom. It was great!
    Some images from the day.

    <img src=
    So many flowers in bloom!

    Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive and fun weekend!

  23. Hi honeys!!!!

    I’m okay, it’s actually been a very intense week, my mom got a pacemaker, I got an enormous tattoo, various other life shit, girlfriend and I cried a lot and hung onto each other and watched a dumb movie and then went to bed early a lot. It’s okay. I think we’re okay for now.

    What’s good is after doing a bunch of traveling lately I’m going to see my sweet friends for the first time in a long time, (well like 3 weeks) and it’s beautifully sunny outside, and it’s been super hard but I’m doing okay, I’ve been reading good books and going for walks and feeding myself good food, and I’m just glad I can take care of myself in hard times.

    And also because I have approximately 12 queer ya novels from the library at my house RIGHT NOW.

    Have a good weekend, sweetpeas.

  24. My dad is visiting this weekend…we rarely spend time together just the two of us and I’m not out to him. We’ve had a…stressful and hurtful relationship but sometimes he’s great.

    Keep your fingers crossed for me.

  25. I didn’t turn my body blue. But one time when I worked drive thru at Jack in the Box, a car full of drunk college girls showed up “wearing” blue paint… That was a good day. Except when they ordered like a bazillion tacos.

    I met a friend too! Then we went on a date. At least I think it was a date. Was it a date? We rocked Moana at the dollar theatre. I cried a ton (even though it’s like my 20th time seeing it) . She hugged me. And next week we are going to beat each other with swords in the park. All progressing according to plan…

    Other life stuff: I need a part-time job to feed my fashion obsession. So I applied at this hipster café as a breakfast waitress. I hope I get it. A cute girl shows up after tying up her beautiful Akita outside. As I approach, I can see her emerald eyes and freckles behind an worn book. She smiles, moving her braid. We both lock eyes blushing. Our fingers touch as I hand her the garden omelet AND BOOM! True love. The rest is history…

    Is that how waitress jobs work? Am I a bit delusional? *sigh* Back to my coloring. I brought my giant Frozen coloring book today. And stickers. Lots of glittery stickers. Just another day at the office.

  26. My last couple weeks have been full of financial ups and downs but I think everything is going to work out okay and I’m starting to get used to my job but had to sit through some super rough stuff this week and my partner started a particularly crappy new job too. My friend that got me my job I think is not working there any more and has some news I can only hear in person and we’re getting a beer later and I hope it’s good news?

    I found out on the weekend that I’m not invited to my favourite cousin’s wedding and given that they only have two cousins at all I really don’t feel like the ‘it’s a small wedding’ argument holds enough weight relative to initiating family tension. My dad and his new wife are invited, and I don’t know if the actual issue is that my sibling and I don’t count as part of the family since my parents’ divorce or that we’re too weird or I might gay it up by accident, and it really makes me not want to have anything to do with that part of the family and it sucks.

    Congratulations on your new friend! New friends are the best.

  27. I’m very happy for you that you made a friend!! It’s a great feeling. I try not to develop feelings for new fun queer friends but it’s so hard when queers are so beautiful and amazing and cool and beautiful… I’m screwed. But feelings-wise I’m super drained right now and relationship-wise so I best behave myself.

  28. i made a friend too! at a protest, y’all, which is one of the gayest places to make a friend. they make queer art and have a show on our college’s radio station and live in a co-op. we met up by accident again at a 420 party last night and they informed me that blending lavender with weed can help with anxiety. as you can tell my new friend is impossibly cool and i am a square.
    my mom texted me and my sister yesterday morning to say “Not too much celebrating today, please!” which i find hilarious and adorable. i did go to a 420 party that felt like a time portal to 1969 and i painted on the wall:
    at this party i also apparently announced, rather loudly, that mary poppins is “kinda sexy.” so, that’s the kind of human being i am when i’m stoned. sorry. (but i stand by what i said. someone back me up here.)
    the weather is getting nice here so everyone has their dogs out and it’s GREAT. i met a beautiful golden retriever at the queer student union. her name is cleo and she likes string cheese.
    also, picnic day is tomorrow. are there any other uc davis people here? let’s meet up!

    • If you don’t have lavender vitamin c(either in pill or fruit form) also can help a little with anxiety. As a side note mangoes(fresh) are rich in vitamin c, but also can make the high better/stronger(i’ve tried it and it kind of worked for me).

    • Well she IS ‘practically perfect in EVERY way’ so… Bert certainly thought so ;)

  29. what makes my heart sing this week? a fucking Sagittarius. well sing/scream (not in a fun way)… it changes hourly.

    we will destroy each other-which should be enough to stop before starting but it’s spring guys so y’know, clean yr house and then fuck up yr emotional health. it’s fine; everything’s fine.

  30. So good!! I was an extra on a movie that filmed from yesterday at 5 pm until today at 5 am so I feel a little sleepy but super good!! I got to wear cool clothes and watch breakdancers

  31. I woke up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep so I had a one person dance party with light-up swag from Bacchus (a Mardi Gras super-krewe) to techno music


    HEALTH – Blue Monday

    HEALTH – Eurphoria

    My body was singing and my face was smiling and the little light sticks were like some reverse fan dance. It was awesome.
    Also I had hot cocoa with my breakfast and feel much better after getting all the diphenhydramine outta my system.

  32. Short Story: I got an PAID internship at a visual (comics, graphic novels, picture books) publishing company!!!

    Longer Story: I got an email saying the company liked my application and wanted me to come in for a chat. So naturally I assumed it was an interview. I prepped,and prepped, and prepped, and when I got there the first thing the senior editor said to me was ‘this isn’t a formal interview or anything like that’. Which was a relief? But I was still on my guard. They asked when I could start and if I’d be okay working 3 days a week instead of five cuz they’re a smol company who only want me to work when they can pay me. They even said I could start after I’ve finished the last of my uni essays which I am eternally grateful for.

    My friends are super supportive (I have like 4 lol) and the fam ordered take away to celebrate that I’ve got something and I haven’t even graduated yet.

    P.s after 4 years on Twitter I finally learned how to make friends *thumbs up emoji*

  33. One of my students who Really Struggles when boundaries aren’t 100% solid had a goodish day today, with only one slip up! I started reacting to her Great Listening Ears like she’d just cured cancer everytime she did anything from picking up a singular toy to pushing in a chair etc etc and I think it might be a step in the right direction for us.

    (She’s two years old, did I mention that?)

    Yesterday I babysat another one of my twos and she went to bed SO EASY and was really happy when I brought out my Special Library Books at bedtime

    (“MY FAVORITE!” – regarding Outside Over There, aka “The Goblin Book”)

    The sew on patches I designed for my camp cabin came in the mail today and they turned out so great!!


  34. Hey wonderful people! Hope you’ve all had a great week

    I went to a protest this evening against what’s happening in Chechnya. Soooo many people turned up, I feel proud to be part of this community who shows up to fight for our rights and the rights of others. But at the same time I’m horrified that it’s 2017 and we still have to protest this shit because people can’t just get on with their lives and leave us be…not only that but they want to physically harm us…
    I put a photo and video clip on my instagram if anyone is interested @vstevens89 (because I can’t be bothered to upload it somewhere else and do the html lol sorry)

    I was meant to go out tonight with my friend to party but she cancelled last minute which sucks but never mind. Tomorrow I have a shibari workshop/meeting which I’m looking forward to…and Sunday a queer swing dance class :)

    Last night I met a friend of a friend at my tango class, then my friend told me this girl really likes me but I have no such feelings towards her…but my friend wants us all to go out together soon, I hope it won’t be awkward!!

    Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

    P.s. yes Alania blue icing will turn everything blue…including your poop! When I would work with coloring fondant icing I always wore gloves otherwise my hands were stained for days! And congrats on your new friend!

  35. I’m bad at friends cos I’m aspie & socially anxious & also weird. Ppl say they like weird but they mean they like their own kind of weird which I can’t blame them for as I do the same thing.

    I came out as nb to my mum who says she gets it but she really doesn’t. She keeps saying very gendered stuff to me. I need to find a polite way to tell her not to as she’s lovely but very forgetful (she calls me the dog’s name sometimes…) I can’t come out to my dad as he says all sorts of transphobic stuff to me about trans women (he’s born again). And I don’t know if my stepdad would get it, talking a two generation gap. I spend all my time explaining to him the difference between a fake London accent, say, and a fake black one cos he loves doing accents. He’s one of those (white straight male) labour voters who’s not as intersectional in their socialism as they should be.

    For Easter we went to the New House :) I had an Easter egg hunt and loads of eggs (cos I’m secretly still nine lol) and went for a walk into town where I saw a little shop that sells lots of lovely things. One is a load of Famous Five postcards. George was my hero when I actually WAS 9. Actually from 6-11.

    I reached 50k in camp nano :) I’m kinda aiming at 75k but well see. My camp is super queer :) loads of nb ppl in camp too :)

    I’m going to a football match for first time in 5 years. 5 years ago I was really unwell mentally & didn’t feel like I could leave house. Now I’m going to the game again :) it will be much easier to do that more regularly from new house. It’s a friendly between two of my heroes growing up and they pick ex players and celebs to play for them. So not a proper game but will be nostalgic atmosphere. I don’t get who to root for in a game like that? I don’t get what unassigned seats means? It didn’t say ‘family section’ but I’m hoping it’s a decent section in terms of my anxiety/stepdads legs although tbh I kind of want to be at heart of it. It’s 3 days after my birthday. Football is a huge thing for me like my favourite thing & when aspies have a favourite thing it’s like when nt ppl have a partner…

    New house picks up radio station from back in my home town. To look after little Liam (don’t ask, long story, dealing w stress) I’ve been playing old music, favourite CDs etc. Anyway inner child/teen that I was looking after w the music decided to text said radio station and request that ‘All About The Money’ be played late tomorrow night. So well see.

  36. It was a weird, intense week for me filled with anxiety and stretching my comfort zone. I woke up in a state of panic a couple of days ago about a work thingy. I was terrified but had a straightforward conversation with one of my clients, and he was fine and all my fears turned out to be for nothing.

    Speaking of friends, I have lots, and a few really close ones, but am single and feel lonely as hell. Not really lonely, but needing deep loving connection so badly. I’ve been lying on my couch (sofa for my american friends) a lot and crying my eyes out.

    My good and weird news: I got a pink heart tattooed on my genital region this week. Yup, really and truly. And (after a small panic in which I doubted my decision), I really love it! It’s really cute. I can’t post a picture because…obviously. The tattoo artist was really nice to me. She did the tattoo after the shop had closed and was really great. It was the first tattoo like this she’d ever done. And what made it an even bigger win for me was that I’m trans and have those bits, making this whole thing even more awkward.

    I think I’m going to watch Supergirl tonight. :)

    Happy Friday, everyone!

  37. I’m just really excited to sleep late tomorrow–this week has been crazy exhausting.

    Oh & my favorite band released their first new song in 4 years this week so I’ve been literally singing & spinning around in circles to that

  38. Friends are nice. I had plenty of friend crushes but they don’t last very long. I get distracted very easily and it’s scary when I start caring about others. Like, I don’t need a reminder that I’m a softy. Relationships of any kind are also very taxing on my emotions and general energy level. If I can just make a friend that can take naps with me so I can recharge, it would be amazing! Actually, I have like two friends that don’t seem to drain me but it could be because the live far away.

    So, this week I got some bad news regarding my plans for my education. I have been trying to get into the fast track accounting program at my uni for 2 years now. I brought up my GPA to a 4.0 at my community college and transferred to the university that I failed at because it was cheaper. I got out of Academic Probation and got on the Dean’s list when all my academic advisors told me I wouldn’t be able to. I was on track and I finally declared my major. Then I got the bad news. I can’t be entered into the program because the transfer GPA from my first college (before community college) was too low and it automatically disqualified me from applying. Fine with me (not really) because I had a back up plan. I was going to double major. Nope. I missed the deadline two years ago even though I was told I could do it (by the same advisors who said I wasn’t going to bring up my GPA) when I was eligible to declare my major. So, now I can’t double major and the only minor I can do is Economics. The more questions I asked, the more bad news I got and it felt like the advisor just didn’t believe in my abilities. Story of my life. It took me two days to finally just break down about it. The only good thing is that I am more determined to be successful in anything I do. So, yeah that was my week.

    Oh, my family cooked out on Sunday at my parent’s apartment. They live in a bad neighborhood and some of the neighbors cam out to watch the kids play. This one guy kept making comments about “rainbows”, something being “flaming”, and telling his son not to act like a girl. As he said all of these things, he kept staring at me. My family was too busy to hear his crap or notice that he was watching me. It made me uncomfortable and defensive. It was weird because for the first time, I was highly aware of how I was reacting to the situation and how it was not normal. I never once had my back turned, I was calculating how I could defend myself, I didn’t want to be touched, I kept track of the drug dealers and other males in the area. That was not normal and I didn’t calm down until the asshole went back into his apartment. My mom eventually asked me if I was okay and when I told her what was wrong, she got pissed. I don’t think I ever seen her so protective. She started saying how he is just mad because he doesn’t have a gay daughter to be proud of. She made me happy. It still bugs me that I had that type of reaction but my mom made me feel better. My wife also helped and took my mind off of everything by getting me ice cream. :D

    Anyways, lets have a great weekend. Life is short. Do what makes you happy.

    • I’m trying to think of a way of saying ‘fuck that guy’ without it having any other connotations but still expressing that sort of aggression… I guess a stronger way of saying ‘that guy can piss right off’.

      So glad you have a nice mum and wife though :)

      • We could call him a penny ante little coward or a useless git.

        Because being hateful to someone who wants nothing and has nothing to do with you and is just trying to chill,eat food with their fam is the worthless act of a coward.
        A useless coward.
        Being afraid of someone for their sexual orientation is a very useless and pointless fear.
        Being afraid of heights, fire or spiders is at least useful or based in something resembling sensible.

        • Yeah it is. Just remember, Avawn, you’re better than him. Not in a right wing comparing people based on meaningless crap way. But in a morality sense, you’re the good person in this situation and that counts for everything. He’s a hateful coward who doesn’t bear listening to at all. But I do hate people like that.

    • Ugh I’ve been in the higher education and requirements mess. It sucks makes people drop out or give up. My community college has like transfer station where they have a person go through your academic records and cross reference any and requirements a student might need to transfer out or what transfers over.
      Every college should have service like that.
      Part of why we have that service is probably cause the local public uni’s administration is so fucking uncooperative and unhelpful with any kind of student services. It’s like they’re trained to be as unhelpful as possible.

      I’m sorry you had to go into an alert-protective mode while trying to chill with family and enjoy food.
      I know what that’s like.
      Glad your mom has your back tho, that’s so wonderful.

  39. A mis hermanas y hermanos en Venezuela…

    Cuando sienta miedo del silencio
    Cuando cueste mantenerse en pie
    Cuando se rebelen los recuerdos
    Y me pongan contra la pared
    Resistiré, erguido frente a todo…

  40. Happy Friday everyone!

    My week’s been pretty good. Not too much work stress, just trying to keep juggling my full time job and my double class load in my Master’s program. Can’t wait until I graduate. Plus, I came out to my sister, and we had a really good conversation. We’ve been talking a lot more recently, and it’s been nice to reconnect.

    I made a new friend too! We’re going to the Science March tomorrow, and I’m super excited. I still need to make my sign tonight…

  41. My cat has been missing since Wednesday and I’m hurting a lot. I live alone. My family’s far away. He’s the one I cuddle when I’m upset. He’s been my best buddy and closest companion for 8 years. He has stayed away overnight a few times in the past but never for this long. I can’t stop my mind from going to the worst places.

    • Oh no! I hope he’s all right and comes home soon!

      Hopefully he’s just been fascinated by some mating season scents and gone a bit further afield, or stopped over at someone’s home to milk their hospitality until he gets homesick.

    • Put out an article of your clothing somewhere outside near your house (the last place you saw him is the best place). It sounds crazy but he can smell your scent & hopefully make his way back. A friend of mine did this when her cat was missing and it worked. Fingers crossed for you <3

    • Oh no, I’ve had that happen to me but she came back home fine in the end (after a week away which was hell for us but which we lighten the tone by calling ‘her camping holiday’). I hope it’s the same for you.

      Remember posters and door to door knocking asking people if they’ve seen him. Also remember cats are very strong individuals. A runaway dog/child is a big problem but a runaway cat might just be living on other people’s handouts/wild mice for a while so don’t lose hope on him coming home and maybe even a little bit bigger than he was before he went away.

    • Thank you all for your thoughts. I have his litter box out on the porch and I’ve been around knocking on doors and handing out flyers. Trying to keep busy and not lose hope.

    • HE IS HOME SAFE! He somehow ended up in a town 20 km (about 12 miles) away from here. He must have jumped in the back of someone’s truck or something. Luckily his collar has my phone number on it, and a sweet elderly couple saw him wandering around their neighbourhood and called me. I’m so so so relieved.

      • Yay ! So happy for you :) what did I tell you though? Cats are adventurers ;) I hope he has a bowl of his favourite food and you have lots of purrs :)

          • Good :)
            And yeah he should be grounded too. My girl was grounded for a week after (but she generally likes to be an indoor cat by choice so it wasn’t that much of a hardship for her & she was probably recuperating after being out so long!)

      • Oh thank goodness.
        I was so scared for you.
        My childhood cat was murdered, lost pets make me weepy concerned like a small child.

        Also pat yourself on the back for putting contact info on your kitty, it’s super responsible and not enough cat owners do it.

        • @gunna-see-the-light Ohhh, I’m sorry that happened to you :( I get the same way about lost pets, especially since a few years back when my mom saw one of their cats get attacked and killed by a husky. :( I wasn’t even there and it still traumatized me.

  42. My little girl is sick. She’s a twenty week old German Shepherd. Getting seriously concerned for her short-term and long-term health, as well as her survival. Thankfully the specialist should be able to determine the correct treatment, but she’s still going to suffer lifelong issues…

    At least school is going well for the moment!

  43. I’m on vacation rn and the usual vacation Loneliness/bad mood didn’t hit me this time!! I read two books and cleaned my room and I feel good and productive!

  44. it’s not friday anymore, but I found some really cute labrador puppers and some really cute flowers and it made my heart warm.

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