Famous Pop Star Comes Out as Gay and Also as a Cryptid Wearing a Human Suit

After many years of speculation on her sexuality and many years of people orienting their entire personalities around speculating on her sexuality, Famous Pop Star came out as homosexual and also as a cryptid wearing a human suit.

“We totally called the gay thing,” Kelly Jones, one of Famous Pop Star’s fans, shared with Autostraddle after the news broke. “The cryptid thing, not so much.”

“I was screaming from the top of my lungs!” Georgia Pauls, another fanm shared. Pauls was in attendance at the concert where Famous Pop Star made the announcement. “At first, because I was so excited I was right about her being gay. And then I was screaming because she revealed her true form.”

Indeed, shortly after declaring her queerness and waving a rainbow flag on stage, Famous Pop Star got vulnerable and revealed her truest self, and that self was definitely a cryptid — a gay cryptid. To the shock and horror of fans, she unzipped and removed her skin suit fully.

“Was that a chupacabra or a sasquatch? I couldn’t even tell, it was so horrifying,” said another fan, who wished to remain anonymous due to fears of Famous Pop Star.

A gay cryptozoologist has confirmed the Famous Pop Star’s cryptid identity, though there does seem to be some confusion on exactly what type of cryptid she is, which has led to a new deluge of fan theories and speculation on the exact nature of Famous Pop Star’s identity. Many fans are already rallying around Famous Pop Star, sporting shirts and bracelets with slogans like CRYPTID RIGHTS and CRYPTID LOVE on them.

Famous Pop Star has announced a new tour for her yet-to-be-released next album, which will be a tell-all tale about her life as a cryptid that will likely leave fans with more questions than answers. The tour has already sold out.

Famous Pop Star and her representation did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 813 articles for us.


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