Welcome to the sixth recap of the second season of Faking It, an operetta about lesbian love and home decor brought to you by the same network that brought you Is She Really Going Out With Him?
We open in the great outdoors on an amiable bench outside Liberal Oasis Mighty Mouse High School, where Lisbeth and Leila are trying to figure out how to pack this weekend’s RenFair into their busy schedule.
Lauren, who, unlike me, has clearly never wanted to wear a flower crown, get knighted, watch jousting, or whack her little brother in the face with a sack of hay while straddling a log, wants to keep her schedule open for Theo to ask her on a date. But then Theo strolls past offering only a weak nod of acknowledgment in response to her enthusiastic wave.
But before we can dwell on the sadness we feel that Theo is denying the affections of our new favorite character, we’re assaulted with a barrage of other negative emotions as Karma and Liam stroll by, hand in hand, Karma gushing over how long she’s wanted to PDA with Liam.
They run into Amy and Liam skedaddles. Amy’s got some documentary picks for Karma and Amy’s Friday Night Movie Night Tradition (these picks do not, for some odd reason, include Animal Odd Couples) but of course Karma’s ditching her opp to learn about prison talent shows in favor of buzzing the brillo with Liam.
Karma’s so excited! It’s their first date! Karma’s also so sorry for talking about her first date in front of Amy! Amy says it’s okay because only bad BFFs wouldn’t let their BFF talk about their boyf.
Cut to The Art Studio, where Liam’s got a power tool and feels artistically revitalized by his burning hot love for Karma and Shane keeps getting sexts from Duke.
Duke texts Shane that he can’t go out ’cause he’s not out but HERE’S A PICTURE OF HIS ABS INSTEAD!
Also, Shane can’t believe that Liam Booker has a girlfriend!
Meanwhile, Karma can’t believe that she’s Liam Booker’s girlfriend. She’s never had a boyfriend before and this is her first boyfriend!
Karma: It’s like getting your first car and then SURPRISE! It’s a Ferrari!
When I had my first boyfriend it was more like I got my first car and I knew it was a stick when I got it and I can’t drive stick but I got it anyway and then was like, damn, I can only go like ten feet in this car.
Karma eagerly updates her online relationship status, but Amy’s determined to keep it real:
Amy: So you two are exclusive?
Karma: Well we haven’t officially discussed it, but it’s like a given after everything we’ve been through.
Amy: This is THE Liam Booker we’re talking about. Arab princes have had smaller harems.
Amy just wants Karma to be careful and not get hurt and not make any assumptions about Little Liam.
Thus, Karma dashes to the art studio and asks Liam if he has time to talk, and maybe Liam does have time to talk but first he must show her his ART! Look, he pounded a bunch of pipes and sticks into a block of wood! When you turn on the light it’s Karma’s name!
Liam’s like, “you inspired it.” That must be a huge surprise, here I was thinking that he was inspired by Karma Go, which lets you take WiFi everywhere and pay-as-you-go for data that never expires, with no contracts or monthly fees and a nationwide network on LTE.
Liam: So what was it you wanted to talk about?
Karma: Oh, um… just… wanted to tell you that you’re the best boyfriend ever?
Liam: And you’re the best… [pained facial expression] … muse?
Back at Chez Fawcett, Lauren’s curled up with her popcorn and her sweatpants when Amy shows up with her popcorn and her sweatpants and Lauren is like, take your popcorn and your sweatpants and your Karma up to your bedroom with your laptop! But then Amy is like, Karma isn’t coming, it’s just me and my sweatpants.
Lauren’s distracted by the fact that Theo isn’t texting her and Amy’s distracted by her karmasexuality and inability to find a good movie BUT THEN both ladies are rescued from ennui by the arrival of Shane The Party Monster!
Shane’s got an invite to a Secret Underground Dance Party and Amy MUST GO ’cause if Karma’s having fun and french kissing than certainly Amy deserves a little fun of her own. But as Amy and Shane casually stroll to the other corner of the set, Shane is stricken with a sudden deep pain, seemingly brought on by his failure to invite Lauren.
Shane: Strange, I’m having this weird sensation inside. I think it might be… sympathy?
Amy: Ah, should we? She is my sister -ish?
Lauren shoots down their invitation to “a sweaty club where strangers can dry-hump me” but then two seconds later… changes her mind! PARTY TIME!
Starsweep over to the illustrious Hester High Art Show. It turns out that Liam’s not the only one allowed in the art studio after all, because there is a lot of art at the art show.
Karma’s still preoccupied with Liam not wanting to call her his girlfriend, so she calls the girl who’d do anything to be her girlfriend to angst about it. Amy’s already at the Secret Underground Dance Party Ravetime Awesome Bash but she takes the call:
Karma: Being a muse could be a good thing, right? I mean it’s easy to be someone’s girlfriend, but how many people could say that they’re someone’s muse?
Amy: Not to be a downer, but throughout history, artists have put their muses on a pedestal —
Karma: See? I love being on a pedestal.
Amy: Until they get bored, and then they toss them aside like used gum.
Amy meanders back into the party but crashes right into a cart of equipment which is being pushed by none other than the illustrious REAGAN!!! These two have sex with their eyeballs every time they see each other — it’s a genuine connection.
Amy: So you’re a DJ, too?
Reagan: Just to fund my love of cater-waitering.
Amy says the drama at Liam’s Big Family Funtime Party was just her playing a little prank, which Reagan accepts because people on this show accept other people’s obviously untrue excuses for everything. Like when Karma told Liam she had to take a call even though her phone wasn’t ringing and Karma was like “well, I’m psychic,” and he was like “okay?” and I didn’t tell you about it at the time even though it happened two minutes ago but now I feel like I have to tell you. To prove my point.
Reagan invites Amy to come visit her in the DJ booth and for some reason Amy says she’ll consider it but probably not ’cause she’s afraid of heights. AMY THAT’S HOW LILO AND SAMRO FELL IN LOVE YOU BETTER GO UP TO THAT DJ BOOTH.
Regan: Okay well, the invitation’s out there.
Then Reagan climbs the ladder to her castle in the sky and Amy gawks until her gawking is interrupted by Party Monster Shane.
Shane: Thank god we’re inside ’cause the sparks between you two could start a forest fire.
Amy: She is cute.
Shane: She’s so your type!
Lauren: How can you tell, she hasn’t even picked a gender, and the only type here is sad freak. Nobody does neon anymore.
Before we can spend another minute listening to Lauren being amazing, Liam calls Shane to talk about himself and how he may have messed everything up with Karma because he’s physically incapable of saying the word “girlfriend” and maybe has commitment issues. Like he opens his mouth and says “g–” but then that’s all he can manage.
Shane: It’s not like you’re asking her to be your wife! This is only high school, and we’re not Mormons.
Liam: I just wanna say it so she knows how much she means to me.
So basically, Liam and Karma are both calling Shane and Amy with their hetero drama while Shane and Amy are trying to have a nice gay time all by themselves. STRAIGHT PEOPLE RUIN EVERYTHING AND ARE SUPER DEPENDENT ON GAY PEOPLE BECAUSE WE ARE SO MUCH WISER AND BETTER THAN EVERYBODY .