Every Character From Grease and Grease 2, Ranked by Lesbianism

One could argue that there is no specific correlation between homosexuality and an affinity to the films Grease and Grease 2, but the employees and writers of this website would not be amongst those ones. We believe deeply in the Grease-to-Gay pipeline, as explored in articles such as Why Did We Love “Grease” So Much As Gay Children?. Therefore, in honor of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies, the new Grease reboot that premiered on Paramount+ this week, the TV team (with special guest Vanessa Friedman, noted Grease 2 Superfan) gathered as a family to rank the legends of both cinemas. By lesbianism, of course!


33. Louis DiMucci, Grease 2

DiMucci in Grease 2

Riese: Coercing a girl to participate in sexual activities by lying to her with the primary argument that sex is necessary in the name of patriotism and a reverence for the US military is as heterosexual as it gets
Valerie: definitely straight (derogatory)
Natalie: worse: straight and republican.

32. Vince Fontaine, Grease

Vince Fontaine in "Grease"

Carmen: I quite literally want to give him negative points.
Where is the negative points option.
Natalie: Agreed, Carmen. I was thinking, “is there a zero option?”

31. Patty Simcox, Grease

Patty Simcox

Kayla: she’s a narc
Riese: definitely is going to micromanage the bridesmaids at her (heterosexual) wedding into absolute misery

30. Coach Calhoun, Grease & Grease 2

Coach Calhoun

Riese: He’s straight but there’s nothing wrong with that!
Dad, not Daddy

29. Leo Balmudo, Grease

Leo

Carmen: no.

28. Doody, Grease

Doody in Grease
Riese: the upskirt creeping is a hard no
Vanessa: i literally don’t remember this man which tells me he’s very straight

27. Putzie, Grease

Putzie in Grease

Riese: clumsy, young, means well
but also was homophobic to sonny
maybe internalized homophobia
Vanessa: why do i not remember any men in these movies i love
Carmen: Vanessa, because you are gay.

26. Goose, Grease 2

Goose in Grease 2

Carmen: Inconsequential, but ultimately inoffensive
Natalie: Not a lesbian but he met with Michael under the bleachers so I’m not totally discounting him as a member of the alphabet mafia.
Vanessa: gay 4 davey

25. Marty Maraschino, like the cherry, Grease

Marty in "Grease"

Carmen: Marty Maraschino had a crush on Rizzo for all of Sophomore year.

24. Paulette Rebchuck, Grease 2

Paulette in Grease 2

Valerie: She doesn’t give me queer vibes but she does give me the vibe of the ally who will bring up that she has a gay friend as often as possible.
Riese: Yea big ally vibes here
Natalie: She’s your straight friend who is somehow blessed with better gaydar than you.

23. Cha Cha, Grease

Cha-Cha in Grease

Kayla: honestly she’s mostly getting points bc I was kinda obsessed with her mean energy as a baby gay
Valerie: She’ll go on to hook up with fellow members of the dance team in college but ultimately wave it off as a phase and not really mention it again until one of her kids comes out and she’s like “You know, I dipped my toes in the lady pond once”
Carmen: The grand foremother of one Santana Lopez

22. Tom, Grease

Tom in Grease
Valerie: So soft!
Carmen: The sweetest boi.
Just vibes and eyebrows. No thoughts.

21. Eugene, Grease & Grease 2

Eugene in Grease

Riese: bi wife guy
Valerie: He’d campaign for his favorite ship in AS March Madness

20. Davey Jaworksi, Grease 2

Davey in Grease 2: wearing funny glasses, checkered shirt and a black leather jacket

Riese: there is something queer about riding in the sidecar of goose’s motorcycle
Natalie: The glasses alone are swaying me…
Vanessa: in my mind davey and goose are absolutely in love i won’t be hearing otherwise

19. Johnny Neorgelli, Grease 2

Neorgelli bowling

Shelli: Came out in the 70s when disco did something to him
Vanessa: SHELLI

18. Sonny, Grease

Sonny in Grease

Riese: lesbian points earned for having a bark that exceeds his bite & lusting after marty, deducted for doing sandy dirty at the dance
Kayla: having 1 piece of jewelry you wear every day is gay

17. Sharon Cooper, Grease 2

Sharon in Grease 2, wearing red jacket and pillbox hat with a long cigarette in her mouth

Riese: skilled thrifter, really committed to rehearsing for the talent show
Valerie: Something about her collar(s) is gay to me
Shelli: Straight and annoying and probably not an ally – cute hats tho.
Vanessa: agree with shelli, her boyfriend is a straight republican who i feel like she’d defend no matter what

16. Mr Stuart, Grease 2

Mr Stuart teaching his glass in Grease 2

Carmen: Ok but hear me out! HEAR ME OUT!
This is a middle aged soft butch whose household chores include but are not limited to: making the French press coffee in the morning, tending to your little patio garden of potted plants, knowing the best craft beers no matter what bar you are at on date night, cleaning the counters and taking out the trash before you go to bed.
Riese: def a plant lesbian

15. Sandy Olsson, Grease

Sandy splitscreen: with bangs and a preppy outfit and then with a perm, black leather and a cigarette

Kayla: she represents both sides of the good girl/bad girl dichotomy in a way that simply screams closeted high femme dyke to moi
Valerie: Look At Me I’m Sandra Dee (Reprise) is a coming out song, I won’t be hearing arguments at this time. I didn’t realize that I shipped Rizzo and Sandy until doing this ranking but I’m all in now.
Shelli: So straight that it’s wild
Drew: Literally she may be straight, but spiritually she ends up extremely gay.
Vanessa: i’m torn between her being clearly straight and a literal separate character from hot bad girl sandy at the end vs her being the closeted version of hot bad girl (high femme gay as fuck) sandy at the end
much to think about
Carmen: The Triptych of Sandra Dee.

14. Principal McGee, Grease & Grease 2

Principal McGee at her desk at Rydell High in front of a microphone, shuffling notecards

Valerie: Too easily scandalized
Shelli: Lesbian, everyone knows, has dykin’ potlucks on Saturday nights with her own pink ladies.
Natalie: In a secret relationship with the shop teacher. Those pearls and earrings Ms. Murdoch wears actually belong to Principal McGee.
Vanessa: when she says “these are MY boys” about the t-birds during the rehearsal process i knew in my heart she was a dyke

13. Blanche, Grease & Grease 2

Blanche unspooling her typewriter in Grease

Kayla: Gay Auntie Energy
Carmen: BIG Gay Auntie Energy

12. Miss Mason, Grease 2

Miss Mason in "Grease 2"

Shelli: Pam Anderson of the 50s and has a high femme long distance girlfriend

11. Rhonda Ritter, Grease 2

Rhonda Ritter in Grease 2

Riese: bisexual energy, great bangs
Shelli: Bisexual for sure

10. Jan, Grease

Jan in Grease, pigtails, pink jacket, sunglasses

Riese: Cozy pajamas, imitating Bucky the beaver
Kayla: representation for kind of annoying but ultimately endearing loud goofy theater gays
Valerie: Felt left behind when her friends started liking boys, leaned into her childish interests to compensate.

9. Frenchy, Grease & Grease 2

Frenchie with hot pink hair in Grease

Riese: it’s the hair
Valerie: Also she’s really into dream interpretation which feels queer to me
Shelli: An ally but VV straight
Drew: idk she has very bisexual energy to me
Carmen: The energy is that her hair color is entirety the bisexual pride flag, all at once.

8. Vi, Grease

Vi and the other waitresses watching TV in Grease

Riese: elder dyke energy
Valerie: yes very Bev from A League Of Their Own, gotta look out four our own vibes

7. Danny Zuko, Grease

Danny Zuko in leather jacket and white t-shirt in "Grease"

Riese: in an alternate reading of sandy’s season-ending makeover, long maligned by feminists, danny is simply a power bottom in search of a hard femme top who will literally walk all over him. he has no use for the passive heterosexual sandra dee, he needs a woman who challenges him to keep her satisfied and puts out a live cigarette on the dirt in his face
Kayla: his performative masculinity is clearly an overcompensation for baby butch frustration
Drew: The whole movie is him trying on various lesbian identities: the romantic, the greaser, the mechanic, the athlete, and, ultimately, the wife guy.
Vanessa: the greaser to wife guy pipeline is real!!!!
Carmen: The shine of the grease slick (pun not intended) in Danny Zuko’s hair is so butch, and no I will not explain.

6. Stephanie Zinone, Grease 2

Stephanie in "Grease 2"

Kayla: only a homosexual can wear a jacket that well
Vanessa: MY ROOT, MY LOVE, MY LIFE

5. Kenicke, Grease

Kenicke in a leather jacket with gelled hair and a cig behind his ear in "Grease"
Riese: Hey Mamas lesbian
pretends to be hard, is in fact soft
wants to immediately provide for rizzo’s hypothetical baby and then u-hauls regardless
Kayla: I dressed up as him to go to a queer dance party in my early 20s sooooo

4. Michael, Grease 2

Michael from "Grease 2" splitscreen: in a sweater vest and a blazer, then in a leather sleeveless ajcket

Riese: looks great in sweater vests and leather vests
Valerie: The teen queer impulse to change everything about yourself so a girl notices you is relatable.
Natalie: Is he gay or just British?
Drew: This is a lesbian trans woman

3. Betty Rizzo, Grease

Rizzo in a purple polo shirt leaning against the wall in Grease
Valerie: Rizzo had a reluctant crush on Sandy and you can’t convince me otherwise
Shelli: I think this is a case of « Is she hot and queer or just hot and confident » as much as I want the pencil skirt to add on layers of dykin I am only in the middle – extra points for the haircut though.
Riese: agree shelli yes
Carmen: Would any of us be here without her?
(I am “us”)
she’s an icon she’s a legend and she is the moment

2. Mrs Murdoch, Grease

Mrs Murdoch in a worksuit and hat in Grease
Riese: i mean… this is a queer coded character right she’s a shop teacher in 1959
Valerie: I bet the principal made her wear that jewelry, there’s no way a shop class teacher would actually want to be wearing snag hazards around her neck and in her ears.
Gay.
Natalie: Yeah, the jewelry feels like a mask.
Carmen: That’s a lesbian for sure.

1. Dolores Rebchuck, Grease 2

Dolores in Grease 2
Riese: tiny skateboarder with punky brewster vibes, wants desperately to be one of the girls
Shelli: Lesbian and future publisher of some underground magazine in the 70s
Drew: Gosh I love Pamela Adlon

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3181 articles for us.

23 Comments

  1. #1 did not disappoint. Cheryl Ladd was the seed but Michelle Pfeiffer was *the* root to my bisexuality. I’ve watched Grease 2 — and many others — (Anyone see Tequilla Sunrise?) soooo many times swooning.

  2. YES DOLORES. I honestly forgot about her, it’s been so long since I’ve watched Grease 2, but she is def a baby dyke.

    Also, I always feel seen here with my extreme love for that movie/Michelle Pfeiffer as Stephanie/Michelle Pfeiffer always.

  3. I used to watch Grease so much as a kid my parents said I had to limit it to once a month, and yet somehow Drew’s statement “The whole movie is him trying on various lesbian identities: the romantic, the greaser, the mechanic, the athlete, and, ultimately, the wife guy” is a mindblowing revelation.

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