New Gay Wedding Mag EquallyWed Wants to Commitment Ceremony You

Aly & Elroi by

The best part about the launch of Equally Wed, a brand-new magazine for same-sex weddings, is that it’s already touting itself as “The Nation’s Premier Same-Sex Wedding Magazine,” which is like when my Mom says I’m her favorite daughter b/c I’m her only daughter.

But regardless! Spearheaded by Georgia natives Kirsten Palladino and her wife Maria (the two are not legally wed b/c America blows), the mag is already looking like one of the most carefully assembled, diverse-yet-honest representations of our community we’ve seen online, despite its niche-within-a-niche topic.

Equally Wed is the nation’s premier same-sex wedding magazine, providing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples with a modern, elegant and unique guide to wedding planning, from ring shopping and proposing to tying the knot and living happily ever after—and everything in between. Fresh and innovative, Equally Wed offers a closer look into Real Weddings around the world, as well as engagement stories, a socially interactive community and Local Resources, a vetted marketplace rich with GLBT-friendly wedding vendors.

The second-best part about this magazine is that whereas Bridal Magazines literally consume an entire rack at the mag-stand, the “groom” market has never exactly caught on. Based on a few episodes of Bridezilla, we conclude this is because grooms are all overweight cheez-doodle-huffing slobs with bad taste who just want to get the bru-ha-ha over with so they can go have drunk-sex in Aruba with their over-manicured princess-of-the-pea wives, right? In conclusion, Equally Wed might have its finger on the pulse of two burgeoning wedding-related markets: here’s a way to reach not only unreachable queers, but the previously untappable male wedding-prep market as well.

When there’s money to be made, laws change quickly, yes? So we say hurrah! The premier issue features articles like the Top 10 Wedding Style Trends of 2010 from Kleinfeld Bridal’s Fashion Director Randy Fenoli of TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress,” a state-by-state guide to same-sex marriage laws, cute proposal stories sent in by readers, “real weddings” like supercuties Aly & Elroi (as photographed by Labour of Love) and Cheryl & Monica (below) and how to buy the right suit for your bod, “masculine or feminine.”

The Bridal Magazine market, once a mainstay for the publishing industry, has been crashing in recent years as women have gone online for tips and found traditional magazines too mainstream for their tastes. Modern Bride, Elegant Bride and InStyle Weddings have all shuttered over the past few years. This places Equally Wed in a key position to shake up the industry with a new take on an old genre.

Basically, all this magazine needs is a gigantic multi-page feature on Autostraddle’s photoblogger, esteemed wedding photographer Robin Roemer!

Before They Were Titans, Moguls and Newsmakers, These People Were…Rejected: The Wall Street Journal has discovered that a lot of really famous people got rejected from Harvard, because really nobody gets into Harvard, and therefore you should not feel bad about not getting into Harvard. BTW; that’s Rule #1 of College Admissions. Rule #2 is “nobody gets into Columbia.” Rule #3 is “NYU accepts & rejects students at random following no particular discernible paradigm.” Rule #4 is “in a year, you’ll wish you’d spent less time worrying about this shit and just gone to a state school to save some motherfracking $$$.” This still doesn’t explain how Pandora & Thomas got into Harvard, however. The moral of the story, as Autostraddle’s college graduates can tell you, dear high school seniors, is that what school you get into will never matter as much to you as it does this month. Oh and if you’re doing the college thing now, check out Campus Pride’s equality index.

When legalizing pot becomes a gay issue: “Imagine, if you will, a world in which AIDS organizations raise money by selling medical marijuana instead of used clothes and furniture? Currently any organization that receives any federal funding is prohibited from this venture. Gays and lesbians have been in the forefront of the fight to legalize marijuana and medical marijuana, and without the AIDS/HIV health concerns in the mid-’90s medical marijuana never would have passed in California.” (@opposing views) Speaking of have you seen weed and hips? Good stuff.

TOILETS: Yep, there’s really a bill called the Potty Parity Act. Congress’s new measure wants to balance out the number of male and female bathrooms in federal buildings. (@salon)

REAL LESBIAN HOUSEWIVES: That woman from that annoying teevee show has a girlfriend for reals, and she says:“I don’t believe love has a gender… I’m among the millions of parents who have been in a gay or lesbian relationship. It hasn’t been an easy road lately, but I feel there are no mistakes in my life. Everything happens for a reason. To have the opportunity to speak for myself and to have people understand what I’m going through is really special.”

STYLE: If you haven’t yet, run on over and check out Katrina’s piece on the lesbians hipster. And if you’re tired of the word hipster, Gawker’s got a suggestion for you: fauxhemian.

MATH AND SCIENCE: A new study on the underrepresentation of women in maths and sciences rolls out Monday. It was funded by the National Science Foundation, which means that the government cares about equality, guys! “There’s a real danger in assuming that innate differences are important in determining who will succeed, so we looked at the cultural factors, to see what evidence there is on the nurture side of nature or nurture.” (@nyt)

CHANGING HAPPILY EVER AFTER: Changing Happily Ever After: remaking the fairytale for single women over 30.


THOUGHTS ON PROM: If you’re going to read one more thing about Gay Promgate 2010, you should read Sugarbutch’s latest column in SEXIS magazine, entitled Prom is So Gay. (@sexis)

VIOLENCE: Have you heard of the situation at South Philly High? Let me paint this picture for you: Asian American students are getting beaten up, and no one knows what to do about it. Just like Sarah Palin can see Russia from her porch, I can see South Philly High from my bedroom window, but no one here is talking about it even though it happens year after year.

Latoya Peterson at Racialicious has a great article on the media coverage surrounding the attacks. “The mainstream media does not find this story compelling because it is the story of the brown, the story of the poor, the story of generation 1 and generation 1.5, the story of kids with accents, the story of violence between two groups no one wants to talk about anyway.”

FAMOUS FEMINISTS: Liz Carpenter, founder of the National Women’s Political Caucus, has died. (@nyt)

IT’S NATURAL: Feministing takes a look at doing gender with makeup and how makeup companies sell their products using the “natural” approach: “The fact that these people are often allowed to see us naked before they’re allowed to see us without makeup on says something about how committed we are to the performance of effortless natural beauty.” (@feministing)

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Laura is a tiny girl who wishes she were a superhero. She likes talking to her grandma on the phone and making things with her hands. Strengths include an impressive knowledge of Harry Potter, the ability to apply sociology to everything under the sun, and a knack for haggling for groceries in Spanish. Weaknesses: Chick-fil-a, her triceps, girls in glasses, and the subjunctive mood. Follow the vagabond adventures of Laura and her bike on twitter [@laurrrrita].

Laura has written 308 articles for us.


  1. Just wanted to write a post, to say thanks to all of you guys at autostradle. This may be my fever talking, but you are so so cool :) And that wedding stuff made me very happy. I can now imagine a wedding for the first time ever. (ok Ellen and Portia helped too) Just thank you Autostraddlers for being so awsome :)

  2. Don’t forget the damned if you do, damned if you don’t as regards to makeup and feminism. If I wear makeup, I’m a bad feminist that doesn’t accept myself the way I am. If I don’t wear makeup, I’m an angry feminist that hates men and doesn’t shave my legs.

  3. Also, I ave a binder with pictures I’ve cut out of things I want in my wedding someday that I’ve kept since I was a teenager so if Equally Wed needs a semi-crazy idea person I’M THERE

    • Come to England and audition for the next series of Skins and then you can have your pick of top American Uni’s…OR if they do an American version-star in that and get into Oxford or Cambridge (I’m guessing)!!

      • i think i’m too old to be on skins. maybe harvard will contact me about attending their university? like without me actually having to do anything?

  4. I’m thinking about going to Boston College next year, but I’ve heard it’s pretty homophobic. It’s not listed in the index, so I was just wondering if anyone knew how homophobic it actually is.

    • my [straight] friend goes there and says there are plenty of gay people. actually, what she said was that the lesbians were all cool. i don’t know how it goes w/r/t/ gay groups, but i just looked up “lgbt boston college” and it looks like they’ve got lots of support and resources.

    • i live in boston and can testify that BC is really weird situation where it does have lots of resources and great groups and stuff for both LGBT and people of color, but simultaneously has a really unwelcoming environment for them? like, there’s definitely been incidences of violence against queers there recently, and i defo would not go there if i wasn’t white. just saying.

      • cool, thanks guys!! I’ve gotten into some other schools that I really like, and I’ve still got time to make a decision. Thanks for the help!!

  5. The first thing that struck upon seeing those gay wedding pics is how…traditional they seem.

    I remember when I was a callow, freshly-out teenager, thinking that one of the best things about being gay was the avoidance of the necessity to marry. I have since revised my opinion, but back then it was an appealing notion of lifelong love that existed for its own sake and not by decree, and completely outwith the cultural confines bestowed on straight marriage by religion and society.

    I understand now about the very great importance of marriage equality (probably the final thing that internally sealed the deal for me was the prop 8 recaps on here by the way), however, I sometimes worry that the “equality” we’re running headlong into will take us to a place where we’re mimicking the ceremonies of the people that have been painstakingly rejecting us for so long. I guess that for a lot of queer people that’s what they want: to be able to express their love and commitment in the same way as straight folk. But I think I’d want something a little bit different.

    Although I am not a religious person myself, one of the things I do admire about organised faiths is the way that ritual can both define and bind together a community. There’s something comforting about everyone knowing what to do. Most people will know the elements of a marriage in the custom of their local religion, but should gay marriage try and make up its own defining characteristics, seeing as all mainstream religions have chosen to reject it thus far? Is it even possible to codify fabulousness?

    I’m not entirely sure what I’m saying, or how to achieve this, and I don’t envisage marriage in my own future (I put this down to my best friend dressing up as a gypsy fortune-telling crone a la Mr Rochester and giving me a tarot reading predicting me a life of hermitry). However, I’m sure those of you who have assembled ideas on the matter, and are undoubtedly creative in this area can come up with something.

    • I don’t think anyone, straight or gay, should feel like marriage should HAVE to be a part of their lives. I think the idea that you need to be married to be a complete person is very silly, and probs just propagated by DeBeers and little old grandmothers.

      BUT. Some people do find it really important (aside from being gay, I am disappointingly non-edgy and non-alternative). For me, getting married is an important tradition in my family and in my culture and in my religion (which totally does gay ceremonies). And it’s something I very dearly long for personally. For me it isn’t mimicking a ceremony, but being a part of that ceremony. Like Ariel singing about being part of that world, that’s what I want, and what would I give if I could live out of these unequal waters! What would I pay to spend a day warm on the marriage sand?

      For me I want all the same things that my Dad and his wife have, because marriage and love for me is built on the same things: trust, companionship, protection, guidance, understanding, cuddling, and general, you know, love. That’s all I want, and marriage is a big part of that commitment for me, personally.

      If none of this made sense I apologize. I just have a lot of ~feelings~

    • I think like anything people first fight to get the right to do something like everyone else, and then they figure out their own way of doing it and develop their own cultural norms within the comfort of legal protection. That being said; I think that a lot of society’s discomfort with gay marriage is about gender roles, not about “gay people” or “straight people.” The fact that we are challenging gender roles will ensure gay weddings never duplicate straight weddings, though I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with it if they do.

      (Sidenote incomplete thought with no point: I also think only about half of the world’s queers currently identify as such (numbers of young women identifying as bi or gay has literally doubled over the last 10 years, as it becomes more acceptable to be queer) and our perception of who gay people are is defined by those who for whatever reason realized it, or came out, or were pushed out — and our imagery & media is defined by those most comfortable with having it “out there,” so our idea of gay people being inherently less ‘traditional’ might change radically in 20 or 30 years)

      • I don’t mean to be brash or even cynical but I would think the diversity of backgrounds for all gay people would make it difficult to establish any widely practiced norm(s). I mean, there’s race, gender, ethnicity, national origin, religion, class, income, geography, etc. that also come into play. I’m not saying these are overriding factors but some people identify in some areas more than others – and to me at least, being gay doesn’t seem to be the most homogeneous group out of the list. But that maybe because I’m ignorant of or misunderstand what gay culture actually is. I mean, is the motivation to do something different because of a belief that gay culture can and should bring about new conventions with the right to marry as a way of uniqueness or is it a result of feeling alienated by “mainstream religion” as Sally puts it? I don’t think the answer is that simple and I know being religious and being gay aren’t mutually exclusive either. But I guess my point is, are there competing considerations and/or compromises that take place in the name of tradition? (Then again, one could apply the same question to how one identifies his/herself in life… but that’s getting over my head here.)

        • No, I THINK I get what you’re saying. If I identified with ONE culture, it would be Jewish, not gay, and so the idea of gay culture having its own way of doing marriage doesn’t necessarily appeal to me.

          If I missed your point completely, ignore me.

        • yes, what foist said is also a true thing and i think basically the overarching point I was referencing/getting at.

          But I think that until the last 50-75 years or so, many people perhaps absolutely had to choose between their primary identity (determined by what are at their very base familial ties — religion, race, geography, economics) and their gay identity because most families/communities actually did not accept anyone coming out as gay, and so perhaps for a time there was a definite gay subculture. I mean go all the way back in history and actual queer communities were far more specific or ritualized. (also, I’m aware that we don’t have perfect documentation of gay history and many people died without ever putting their own gay history on the record, i am taking account of that when i say this). Perhaps what I’m saying here is like a really obvious point and I’ve just been awake since 6am and california is telling me it’s 11:00 pm but in nyc it’s 2am, which is confusing.

          But yeah, I agree with foist is saying, I think the real thing to get at here is that we all should have the option of considering ‘marriage’ within whichever religious affiliation one desires or without any religion at all, whatever they want to do, that it really just means, really essentially at the base two people celebrating a choice to spend their lives primarily with one another. but i’m sure for many gay people considering weddings, as far as the ceremony itself goes, perhaps they stick with what their straight friends did because for many gay people; if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

          • JentheJew: That’s exactly what I was trying to articulate but you did it more succinctly.

            Riese: Thanks for the reply. That’s a good point, one that I don’t think is all that obvious though. A good number of people I know sadly think that what they see as an emergence of gay people is a modern phenomenon, for lack of a better word. Not sad because of their observation but because they say it results from a corruption of family values, which they always find a way to tie back to the media. Anyway, no arguments here.

          • To clarify, I meant I have no arguments with what you said, NOT with the other people I referenced.

      • riese, that’s an interesting point… i know the numbers and have thought about how queer culture seems to be fitting in with teenagers today compared to 8 years ago when i was in school, but i haven’t thought before about it in quite the same way, about what the queer community might look like when it is no longer a breaking of norms to come out.
        ..the more i think about it the more i see it and quite picture it. thanks for the thought, it’s definitely taken hold of me!

  6. Please don’t let me anywhere near that website! Or the offbeat bride one. I have this….thing…with fricking weddings. Sigh.

  7. i’m pretty anti-marriage, not ONLY because of the queer issue, but because i can’t see myself as wanting to ever be “half” of something. there’s all these privileges vested upon people who are “married,” whether or not those privileges are available to queer folk as well, it seems fundamentally wrong to me to value a “couple” more than a single person.
    but the REST of yinz should be able to get queer-life-partnered/married/whatever IF you really want. but don’t feel like you HAVE to. you’re beautiful and perfect and don’t need anyone else to complete you! just my two cents lol.

    i’m leaving partial lyrics to one of my favorite songs that’s pretty damn close to how i feel about it…

    “Many Christians don’t want queers to have the right to be married
    Why would anyone want to be married anyway
    You pay for a legally binding contract that only the court can break
    What kind of love needs to be validated by the state?

    And while I do agree that queers should have the same rights, I don’t believe
    that assimilation into this fucked up system will ever make us free
    and while I recognize that there are other reasons to need to get married
    this is only caused by the state’s destruction of our other liberties.

    Why should it matter to the state what pronoun you prefer
    Why should anyone decide for you the gender of your partner
    I don’t want to be given the right to marry whomever I please
    I want to smash the system that assumes that it can take that right from me.

  8. I think there is a huge difference between gay weddings and gay marriage. I think for me getting married is a way of making sure I have control over who makes decisions about my health if I can’t, who inherits my money if I kick it, who can legally adopt my children if I had any, etc etc etc. Its about security and family, it doesn’t have to be a traditional act of possession at all. Being someone’s spouse does not equal being someone’s half. Its about deciding whether or not you want to form your own legal family and enjoy the benefits of doing so. So regardless of how anyone chooses to celebrate that commitment, the marriage is always more important, and the very reason for, a wedding.

  9. Good News For The GLBT Community

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