Emmy Awards 2009 Feature Pretty Girls in Gowns, Two and a Half Mad Men, Tina Fey

EMMYS: We half-watched The Emmy Awards last night and boy did they seem like they could potentially be interesting! I made the whole room quiet down to see if Cherry Jones (best supporting actress, 24) would refer to Sarah Paulson as her “girlfriend,” “partner,” or simply by name … but … nothing. Was Sarah in the building and if not … why not? Don’t worry too much, Intern Jess reports they are still very much together and were cute as two lesbian pies at the Sandra Bernhard show a few weeks back.

Furthermore, Drew Barrymore was notably sans the Love of Her Life Ellen Page, and was instead canoodling with that dopey guy from Waiting. Some of the night’s most attractive women include Olivia Wilde, Mariska Hargitay, and all the ladies from The Office. Well really everyone looked fantastic.

Also, our exclusive source reports that despite reports to the contrary Kristin Chenowith did not, in fact, require emergency medical services last night after receiving her Emmy for Best Actress (Comedy) in Pushing Daisies, but simply had a migraine headache, and is now totally fine. In fact is totally glowing for totally winning an award for a show that was totally unjustly canceled, according to the Academy and to our exclusive source, all of whom watch the TV.

Winners included Two and a Half Men (best actor supporting actor (obvs only one man cannot do the work of two and a half men) comedy) for mysterious reasons we hope to uncover this fall, Grey Gardens, 30 Rock (best comedy), Mad Men (best drama), and Mad About You. Is that not on anymore? Um, Doogie Howser is super cute, and once again proved that when something needs to be hosted, one must hire a gay.

Alex asked an interesting question: why is it that we still must divide these awards by gender? I feel it serves some ancient, important purpose … but will that ever change?

Our number one feelings are as follows:

LINDSAY LOHAN: The night began earnestly on Twitter — announcing her happiness that her friends & family approved of her love (likely a distraction tactic, to not focus on the fact that her love does not approve of her love these days).  And then …

Then we degenerated into that old-fashioned kind of Lindsay Lohan love that makes us cringe and want to hug her or take her to pinkberry. Although if she was serious about the ‘90210’ thing … we want details.

PRECIOUS: Lee Daniels’s film “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire,” about an abused teenage girl in Harlem, won the Cadillac People’s Choice Award at the Toronto Film Festival on Saturday. (@nytimes)

SHUT UP MEGAN FOX: See the more everyone hates her, the more I want to like her. “Listen, Megan — I’ve been to college. I’ve met enough girls pretending to be into Sapphic action at parties to last me a lifetime. I’m sure your supposed bisexuality is a large part of your appeal, but if you must talk about it, could you at least make the story realistic?” (@nerve)

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2744 articles for us.

27 Comments

  1. whoa… I went to bed and when I woke up and autostraddled the internet, all my dreams came true! Lookout! The redesign make me feel all shiny inside. I guess now I’ll go read the info and come back with more thoughts later.

  2. Oh, also this… just reading Mariska Hargitay’s name makes me… well, maybe we won’t go there. But I kind of worship her. No really… I have a tiny little statue of her in my room. Some pray to Buddha… I pray to Benson. Ok, so I don’t, but I should. Seriously ya’ll! Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am.

  3. My superstraight (except for Kelly Clarkson) cousin g-chatted me “omg the autostraddle redesign looks so good!” completely unprompted. Also, Sarah Paulson wasn’t at the Emmys b/c she’s in a Broadway show (Still Life) in NYC.

  4. woah, where am i? do you guys see towels? if you see towels we might be in the linen closet again.

    looks great though, in all seriousness. i’ll figure it out eventually. handshakes all around.

    and not to nitpick, but two and a half men won best SUPPORTING actor in a comedy – best actor went to alec baldwin.

  5. The caption pics are awesome~!

    Oh and nice redesign…although I have to admit that I already miss seeing the maintenance page and hearing Laneia say “Hi! Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. YOU BETTER GET READY” in my mind.

  6. re: drew barrymore at the emmys with justin long last night. why did no one bat an eyelash when drew barrymore said she fell in love with ellen page. not us, i mean the media/society. remember when angelina jolie said she was “so in love with” her brother? scandal! imagine if quentin tarantino said he fell in love with brad pitt while making inglourious basterds – that’d be crazy! so why are we so dismissive and indifferent about a woman saying she’s fallen in love with another woman, talking about how sexy she is? why do we assume it’s not “real”? is it that two women together are still seen as illegitimate/nonthreatening, or maybe it’s not scandalous to be queer/poly/bi/out/whatever in hollywood anymore? or maybe it’s because neither of them is “gay.” or maybe nobody cares. thoughts, anyone?

    • I feel like something about that whole thing seemed “not real” … but actually I think it has more to do with the sort of special lesbian mafia closet that the media kind of respects, w/r/t EP. Talking about that possibility would be talking about something we’re not supposed to talk about? Like if it was two straight actresses, perhaps the conversation would have been different — and perhaps has been, in the past … but this I think confuses people? Maybe we assume if they were together, there’d be paparazzi pics to prove it?

  7. This redesign is banging. I love it.

    I also love the number one feeling picture captions and I think that every fix involving premiers/award shows/parties should have them.

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