Ellen Is Hosting The Oscars, Which Will Have 100% More Gay and 100% Less Seth MacFarlane

Featured Image via TIME, edited by Kaitlyn

This morning, everyone’s favorite talk show host/Portia de Rossi’s spouse took to Twitter for a big announcement: She’s hosting the Oscars next year! This is the second time our dear Ellen DeGeneres will lead us the hours of skits, monologues, and the inevitable awkward celebrity appearance that make up the Academy Awards. Sure, there will likely be performers of color snubbed, and they’re going to give out a bunch of statues for jobs we’re pretty sure are made up — but hey, who doesn’t love a good Hollywood circle-jerk?

Reviews of Ellen’s 2007 hosting gig were pretty positive. In my humble opinion, she’s only gotten funnier since then, so my hopes are up. Regardless, absolutely nothing could elicit more rage-filled eye-rolling from me than last year’s Seth MacFarlane show, which saw an increase in ratings despite critiques from just about everyone out there.

CAPTION: Yes, you are. Photo via telegraph.co.uk, edited by Kaitlyn

Yes, you are.
via telegraph.co.uk, edited by Kaitlyn

MacFarlane’s show was awful almost to the point of self-parody, so it makes sense the Academy would pick someone a little more family-friendly to follow up. You can always count on Ellen to make good clean fun somehow hilarious. It’s also worth noting that ABC, which broadcasts the awards, was the home network for “Ellen” in the 90s, when both the title character and the actress came out as gay. Maybe that means this year will include another coming-out speech from a famous actress?

The 2014 Oscars aren’t until March, so Ellen’s got plenty of time to prepare a good show. If worst comes to worst, though, she can always just cancel the awards and put Gladys on speakerphone for a few hours.

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Kaitlyn lives in New York, which is the simplest answer you're going to get if you ask her where she's from. She went to journalism school and is arguably making the most of her degree as a writer and copy editor. She utilizes her monthly cable bill by watching more competitive cooking shows than should be allowed.

Kaitlyn has written 69 articles for us.


  1. brb composing premature invites for an Oscars Party to watch our fav lezbot make Hollywood’s offerings bearable for a night

  2. While I’m super psyched about Ellen hosting the Oscars to the point where I’ll actually start watching it again, I pretty much think you’re the best thing next to ice cream for managing to reference Gladys in there.

    I love Jesus but I drink (more than) a little! ;)

    • Gladys is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I think. Always cheers me up on a crappy day.

  3. eeh, seth macfarlane. i still have nigthmares about him hosting the oscars. *involuntarily shivers*

    • Ellen’s “washing your hands in the bathroom” bit was the stuff of legends to me, so simple, so true, so funny!

  4. My wife has already asserted that I’m going to be made to stay up and watch it after our (my) fiasco attempt at recording it last year. (I was tired…?)

    So I guess it will make staying up until I normally get up that bit easier. :D

    (I enjoyed MacFarlane’s song though.)

  5. OMG someone who might, just might not make ladies who do ladies invisible, not gonna bet on it thoughz.

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