DeAnne Smith’s Questionable At Best Asks “Can Exes Be Friends?”

Hey it’s time to listen to a new episode of Questionable at Best with DeAnne Smith!


This weeks podcast answers the question “Can exes be friends” with special guest Sarah Quinn,  DeAnne’s ACTUAL ex. And yes, its just as awkward as you can imagine it would be. I can guarantee you will laugh and cringe at some point, maybe simultaneously. Give it a listen!

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Chelsey is a previous Editorial Assistant for Autostraddle and currently resides in Los Angeles with her cat Olive and a large collection of cardigans. She enjoys drinking coffee/tea, writing, editing, and validating the humans in her life.

Chelsey has written 52 articles for us.


  1. Jesus, I picked up all the funny in my apartment for this podcast, then tripped over my feels and dropped ALL OF THEM! Laughter is literally peeling off my walls in all directions right now

  2. This was like the “Return of the King” of podcast endings and I LOVED it. Because who wants these to end? I mean, honestly. 22 minutes is too short.

  3. absfuckinglutely! I love some of my exes, as people if not my partner. The question you have to IN ALL HONESTY ask yourself is: “Am I truly happy for her when/if she hooks up?” Answer must be yes, honestly, and you don’t mind hearing about it. Also, “Do I want to get back with her?” Answer must be an honest no.

  4. “Friendly but not friends.” That about sums it up.
    I don’t want to get back together with any of them, not in the slightest, nope nope nope. But it sort of weirds me out hearing about their dating/hook ups. I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe because it freaks me out that I might be compared to them. It’s just WEIRD.
    And I’m much more likelier to be friendlier to an ex if there is LOTS of space right out of the break up gate, like what they talk about in the podcast. You need some time to redefine everything, and if you don’t have that time it gets nasty.

  5. I love this podcast!! I’ve been listening to it at work. I’m so glad you alert us as to when a new one is up because otherwise I would be hungover at work tomorrow with nothing to listen to!

  6. I’m in fits of laughter: “I actually want to touch everyone… I also want to lick people’s necks” “I’m glad you disclosed that.”

    “Friends don’t do that.”

  7. For a second I read Sarah Quinn as Sara Quin and was like OMG WHAT?! and then I heard her voice and calmed down.

  8. There’s a queer woman named Sarah Quinn who isn’t Sara Quin? What are the odds of that? :O

  9. My ex and I were together for 12 years. It took 4 years and me coming out to him to make the friendship work.

  10. I thought this might make me feel better or more hopeful but actually I’m sort of depressed now.

  11. totally lost my shit when i read “sarah quinn” but then she started speaking and i was like um… no.

  12. When they brought up the point about consulting each other about current relationship problems a HUGE red flag went up. I just put myself in the shoes of the girlfriend of the girl consulting her ex. That could stir up a bucket load of new issues, not to mention put the budding friendship between exes in question.

    Maybe I’m just ultra-sensitive, but that would TOTALLY bother me.

    hmmmph. :/

  13. In my experience even if the two can be friends it usually becomes an issue when either is in a relationship. And I have to say I’ve felt threatened by a girlfriend’s ex once before.

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