Celesbian Gossip Through the Ages Trivia Quiz

Ah, “Vapid Fluff.” Is it the reason your mattress makes your back hurt, or is it the reason we live and breathe and wake up every morning ready to face the day? Regardless of what Vapid Fluff means to you, this quiz will focus on what Vapid Fluff means to us — namely, reliable information about the romantic entanglements and sexual orientations of lesbian, bisexual and queer women. This particular field of interest has been thriving since the turn of the century, but we’re currently living in the golden age of celesbian gossip. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that occasionally, while lying on the sofa thinking about Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell shopping at Whole Foods, you might scream to your three-legged chihuahua, “WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!”

Listen: Visibility matters.

Please note that even if you don’t think you know the answer, that sometimes a close read of the answer options could lead you to figure out what the answer is by process of elimination.

Celesbian Gossip Through The Ages Trivia

  • 4. What were Melissa Etheridge and her wife, Julie Cypher, announcing in this January 1st, 2000, Rolling Stone story?

  • 9. In addition to almost definitely being her girlfriend, what other role did Robyn Crawford play in Whitney Houston's life?

  • 15. Which name belongs in the circle on this chart currently occupied by a giant star?

  • 17. What is the name of the legendary star of early 20th century theater and Old Hollywood, who allegedly had affairs with women including Greta Garbo, Hope Williams, Patsy Kelly, Katherine Cornell, Billie Holiday, Libby Holman, Hattie McDaniel, Eva La Gallienne, Barbara Stanwyck and Mercedes De Acosta; and once said, "My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine"?

  • 20. What clothing company is being advertised in this celesbian-studded photoshoot?

  • 22. Match the celebrity to the alternative lifestyle haircut they got shortly after coming out.

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2883 articles for us.

70 Comments

  1. Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 20
    Percentage: 91%

    Personally devestated that I got the one about the 1893 playwright/poet wrong, and only mildly ashamed about how many answers I knew before seeing the options.

    Riese, how about a bonus Sandra Bernhard question about how she seduced Patricia Velasquez that time in Paris, which is possibly my fave celesbian story of recent times.

  2. Quiz Grade: A

    Score:20

    Percentage: 91

    Do I feel redeemed after the unmitigated failure of the Total 90s Lesbian Trivia Quiz, or do I feel concerned at how much celesbian knowledge I am apparently storing at easy reach ?

    • Yes I would fare much better for celebsian athletes.

      What long term very clearly a couple but have never announced it publicly in an interview just adopted a puppy together and bless my insta feed with the best puppy pics and videos ever?!?!

  3. 77% C
    Wikipedia still telling me Uh-Her is still active. And I would be really angry at myself if I didn’t get the Samantha Ronson answer right as it’s the only celesbian I’ve stood next to(sorry for telling that old story again).

  4. I clicked a wrong answer accidentally and I don’t know if I’m more mad about that fact, or about the fact that I care enough about celesbian gossip to be mad about that fact.

    Anyway, for the record I KNOW WHO ALICIA CARGILE DATED OK ?

  5. A/20/91% !! I’m a star! (Apparently I was paying attention to celesbian gossip since before I even knew I was a lesbian…)

    Taking this quiz was the most fun I’ve had all day, also whoever made that chart in question 15, thank you, that’s amazing!

  6. A/21/95%. I could have told you the name of the song Tracy wrote about her relationship with Alice, but not that quote.

    My girlfriend said “is that good enough? I thought you could get 100%” but I am proud of my effort.

  7. I’m deeply ashamed at having missed the Alice Walker/Tracy Chapman quote. Still, I owe my 91% to having AS open in the background daily as I go about performing my Very Important Adult Social Work Job. Also it’s possible that being born in 1980 helped.

  8. You’re a star!
    Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 22
    Percentage: 100%

    I feel totally vindicated

    I think this comes from the same Alice Walker interview: “It was quiet to you maybe but that’s because you didn’t live in our area.” That’s a kinda polite Fuck You…

  9. You’re a star!
    Quiz Grade: B
    Score: 18
    Percentage: 82%

    Before I took this I thought I was pretty terrible at pop culture things. What I’ve learned from this quiz is that I’m just terrible at straight pop culture things, lol.

  10. Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 22
    Percentage: 100%

    I have Autostraddle to thank for helping me get a perfect score. It’s been my best, and most fun, study guide for the past 7 years. (Also, I can’t believe that I’ve been coming here for that long!)

  11. Also!! Have Leisha Hailey and Cam Grey really broken up? How come I never heard about this? When did this happen? I have been hiding away in my quiet world thinking they were still real solid. When and Why please someone fill me in on the story

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