Celesbian Gossip Through the Ages Trivia Quiz

Ah, “Vapid Fluff.” Is it the reason your mattress makes your back hurt, or is it the reason we live and breathe and wake up every morning ready to face the day? Regardless of what Vapid Fluff means to you, this quiz will focus on what Vapid Fluff means to us — namely, reliable information about the romantic entanglements and sexual orientations of lesbian, bisexual and queer women. This particular field of interest has been thriving since the turn of the century, but we’re currently living in the golden age of celesbian gossip. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that occasionally, while lying on the sofa thinking about Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell shopping at Whole Foods, you might scream to your three-legged chihuahua, “WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!”

Listen: Visibility matters.

Please note that even if you don’t think you know the answer, that sometimes a close read of the answer options could lead you to figure out what the answer is by process of elimination.

Celesbian Gossip Through The Ages Trivia

  • 4. What were Melissa Etheridge and her wife, Julie Cypher, announcing in this January 1st, 2000, Rolling Stone story?

  • 9. In addition to almost definitely being her girlfriend, what other role did Robyn Crawford play in Whitney Houston's life?

  • 15. Which name belongs in the circle on this chart currently occupied by a giant star?

  • 17. What is the name of the legendary star of early 20th century theater and Old Hollywood, who allegedly had affairs with women including Greta Garbo, Hope Williams, Patsy Kelly, Katherine Cornell, Billie Holiday, Libby Holman, Hattie McDaniel, Eva La Gallienne, Barbara Stanwyck and Mercedes De Acosta; and once said, "My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine"?

  • 20. What clothing company is being advertised in this celesbian-studded photoshoot?

  • 22. Match the celebrity to the alternative lifestyle haircut they got shortly after coming out.

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3149 articles for us.

70 Comments

  1. D/14/64%

    Apparently my areas of expertise are anything up to say 1940, or from the last 6 months.

    It’s a pretty wide blank between that.

  2. B-18-82 … not as good as my bra size but I’ll take it! Thank you, Riese!

  3. C/17/77 well. There were many I narrowed to two and then chose the wrong one of the two…

  4. Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 20
    Percentage: 91%

    Personally devestated that I got the one about the 1893 playwright/poet wrong, and only mildly ashamed about how many answers I knew before seeing the options.

    Riese, how about a bonus Sandra Bernhard question about how she seduced Patricia Velasquez that time in Paris, which is possibly my fave celesbian story of recent times.

    • Ahhhhh I thought about including it! I ultimately feared it was too niche, although I’ve written about it here at least twice ’cause I love it so. I read Patricia’s entire memoir just to get to that part.

  5. Quiz Grade: A

    Score:20

    Percentage: 91

    Do I feel redeemed after the unmitigated failure of the Total 90s Lesbian Trivia Quiz, or do I feel concerned at how much celesbian knowledge I am apparently storing at easy reach ?

    • OMG same! I was shocked that I scored so well after my crushing defeat in the 90’s round!

  6. Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 21
    Percentage: 95%

    I knew it was wrong when I before I picked it.

    You’d think my interest in/retention of celesbian gossip would have been a clue but apparently not.

  7. I also want to do this for women’s soccer players. I have all the vapid fluff posts for women’s soccer players. So much content.

    • Yes I would fare much better for celebsian athletes.

      What long term very clearly a couple but have never announced it publicly in an interview just adopted a puppy together and bless my insta feed with the best puppy pics and videos ever?!?!

  8. B/19/86% Well I was hoping for an A, but pretty good for an end of the workday quiz.

  9. I’m really happy about all the awesome quizzes lately! Even if I suck at most of them!

    E/ 13/ 59%

  10. 77% C
    Wikipedia still telling me Uh-Her is still active. And I would be really angry at myself if I didn’t get the Samantha Ronson answer right as it’s the only celesbian I’ve stood next to(sorry for telling that old story again).

    • Wikipedia is telling me that Uh Huh Her is not still active? Camilla is focusing on another band as of 2016 and Leisha has “returned to acting.”

      • Says 2004-Present, which means they are as still a group and active in someway. Usually it will mention when a band is broken up or even on hiatus.

        • i mean they say in the text of the post that the band is on hiatus, and they’re not making new music right now. to me that is the definition of inactive, even if that’s not inactive enough to have inspired somebody to edit that particular section of the wiki?

  11. I clicked a wrong answer accidentally and I don’t know if I’m more mad about that fact, or about the fact that I care enough about celesbian gossip to be mad about that fact.

    Anyway, for the record I KNOW WHO ALICIA CARGILE DATED OK ?

  12. Happy with a B, but I gotta brush up on my classic celesbians. I clearly didn’t take good notes on the old school Hollywood lecture.

    • Marlene Dietrich was my downfall, every time there was a question about a vintage lesbian actress I chose her and it was never her! (Well I assume it was ONCE).

  13. You’re a star!
    Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 20
    Percentage: 91%

    UNREASONABLY PROUD OF MYSELF!

  14. I got all the questions right, and this is the proudest I have ever felt while sitting at my desk, in my office, pretending to adult.

  15. Quiz Grade: C
    Score: 17
    Percentage: 77%

    As someone educated about queer things mostly on AS since 2014, there’s nothing I can really do except blame YOU, Riese. WHERE WAS THE STUDY GUIDE FOR THIS TEST? :-D

  16. A/20/91% !! I’m a star! (Apparently I was paying attention to celesbian gossip since before I even knew I was a lesbian…)

    Taking this quiz was the most fun I’ve had all day, also whoever made that chart in question 15, thank you, that’s amazing!

  17. A/21/95%. I could have told you the name of the song Tracy wrote about her relationship with Alice, but not that quote.

    My girlfriend said “is that good enough? I thought you could get 100%” but I am proud of my effort.

  18. I’m deeply ashamed at having missed the Alice Walker/Tracy Chapman quote. Still, I owe my 91% to having AS open in the background daily as I go about performing my Very Important Adult Social Work Job. Also it’s possible that being born in 1980 helped.

  19. Only got two wrong, and I can’t believe one of them was about the age difference between Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor. Shame on me.

  20. I took this quiz while listening to Tracy Chapman because I am the ultimate gay.
    (except I only got 73%)

  21. honestly, i feel good about missing the question about nats getty. ignorance of obscene wealth keeps my blood pressure down.

  22. Grade A
    Score 20
    Percentage 91

    Not surprising since I’ve been reading this amazing site and Afterellen (back when it was good) before that, for over 14 years now. Oh jeez I feel old!

  23. I may have gotten a D but I’ll be damned if I didn’t smash the answer to that Carrie Brownstein – St Vincent – K Stew question in a gdamn nanosecond

  24. You’re a star!
    Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 22
    Percentage: 100%

    I feel totally vindicated

    I think this comes from the same Alice Walker interview: “It was quiet to you maybe but that’s because you didn’t live in our area.” That’s a kinda polite Fuck You…

  25. I’m disappointed in myself with 77%. The things I missed weren’t just from 1 era either

  26. Got an 86% B!

    I’d like to thank TCM, VH1, but most especially Stef, Riese and Carmen for this accomplishment because beyond Sam Ronson I’d be totally lost on 21st stuff.

  27. C/16/73%

    Now if this quiz were about celesbian gossip before 1800, I’d totally ace it.

  28. I definitely got the lowest ever grade, E.
    My consolation; I’m over studying other people’s love lives. ?

  29. D/15/68%

    I am just bad at trivia, lesbian-themed or otherwise. Thanks for allowing me to procrastinate getting ready for work this morning though!

  30. You’re a star!
    Quiz Grade: B
    Score: 18
    Percentage: 82%

    Before I took this I thought I was pretty terrible at pop culture things. What I’ve learned from this quiz is that I’m just terrible at straight pop culture things, lol.

  31. Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 21
    Percentage: 95%

    All the time and energy I’ve dedicated to celebrity gossip was worth it!!!

  32. Grade A/22/100 %

    I don’t know whether to feel proud or whether I need to get a life…

  33. I can not tell you the grade I got but just know I gotta step my game up

    Definitely knew that Janelle Monae answer though and I wouldn’t have scored nearly as high if AS hadn’t been in my daily reader for years tbh

    Thanks Riese!

  34. Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 22
    Percentage: 100%

    I have Autostraddle to thank for helping me get a perfect score. It’s been my best, and most fun, study guide for the past 7 years. (Also, I can’t believe that I’ve been coming here for that long!)

  35. I guess that is not shabby. I was bummed that I got Mercedes Acosta question wrong. I feel a bit o f shame about that.

    You’re a star!
    Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 20
    Percentage: 91%

  36. Also!! Have Leisha Hailey and Cam Grey really broken up? How come I never heard about this? When did this happen? I have been hiding away in my quiet world thinking they were still real solid. When and Why please someone fill me in on the story

  37. You’re a star!
    Quiz Grade: A
    Score: 21
    Percentage: 95%

    I feel so redeemed after my abysmal showing in the 90s Lesbians Trivia quiz.

Comments are closed.