Calming Manatee is Calming

Lizz’s Team Pick:

It has been an insufferably long week. Do you have any idea how many things I have to do this weekend? All the things. Every last one of them. Also I’m getting increasingly concerned that Obama’s pro-gay marriage stance will hurt in in the general election. Also–

Oh! Hey there! What a nice little manatee you are. You must be a Calming Manatee. I do feel a bit better now, maybe I will just go sit on my couch and take some deep breaths.

Do you feel calmer now? Yes, I thought so. Also, your hair looks great. This manatee told me so.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Lizz is a consumer, lover and writer of all things pop culture and the Fashion/Style Editor at She is also full time medical student at Brown University in Providence, RI. You can find her on the twitter, the tumblr or even on the instagram.

Lizz has written 261 articles for us.


  1. Oh my god. This is exactly what I needed this very second. I feel so calm… Thank you, Sea Cow friends.

  2. In my head all the captions are in the voice of an elcor from Mass Effect.

    “Soothingly, everything will be ok.”

  3. I got my period this morning and now I’m tearing up. Thanks, manatee!

    Just gonna go and try to forget this happened…

  4. I love manatees! Especially when they compliment your hair. I swam with the manatees in february…I wanted to hug them, but apparently that counts as “molestation” which I’d rather not have on my record.

  5. Excellent timing as usual. I have to get the hand in the nearly final draft of my thesis on Tuesday. Guys, do you know how close tuesday is? It’s really close.
    But the calming manatee told me i was smart and pretty. aaah.

      • My friend used to always yell (during the first episodes of season 1) “SOMEONE TELL THAT GIRL TO STOP TRYING TO EAT HER KNEES!”

        Look at the way she sits in those first few….just take a gander. She was the scapegoat right away.

      • The angsty lesbo that we love to hate/use as a comparison to make us feel better about ourselves.

        Totally respect the actress for playing her/making Jenny, Jenny.

  6. Hi I need this all day today
    Autostraddle I love you
    Thank you, Lizz, thank you thank you

  7. I definitely need more manatees in my life. Thank you for helping me to achieve this goal!

  8. That first picture: he could be calming manatee or sadistic manatee if I picture myself swimming in the water below him.

  9. Something nice just happened, SO THIS IS STILL GOOD AND HANDY, ACTUALLY. Thanks Manatee! ♥

  10. Oh wow. I needed this. Law school finals suck. Thank you manatee! I’m sure everything will be okay, and I feel loved now!

  11. Do you know the Barbara Manatee song? You need to go look it up on YouTube – right now! Do it! It’s a cucumber singing of its love for the manatee :) Srsly.

Comments are closed.