Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Kink Kit’s Spank Box

Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today, three Autostraddle writers reviewed and compared their experiences with The Kink Kit‘s Spanking box.

Reviewer #1: My initial thought when I first learned I was going to receive the Spanking Kink Kit was how could this kit bring something fun into the bedroom in terms of spanking beyond two (or more) willing participants? Spanking is definitely one of my favorite things to do with my partner during sex — I love the sound, I love how warm it makes the skin under my fingers, I love the bruises and the marks left on the body for days afterward. It takes little to no prep time and can spontaneously happen during any scene. I’m more of the spanker than the spankee (do I hate the term spankee? yes.). So I was curious how the Kink Kit planned on elevating this particular activity which I’ve almost always done with just a bare hand (and occasionally a paddle).

Reviewer #2: I was nervous and excited about receiving the Kink Kit: nervous because “games” seemed to be a big draw, and excited because I love spankings and spanking related fun. I’m also a bit of a nervous nelly about introducing new things to my kinky bedroom repertoire so maybe it was just all nervousness and excitement wound into one. I just wanted to get the rules right.

Reviewer #1: The box was CUTE! I loved the “Spank me” text and it really felt like I was opening a fun gift. The whole thing was gender neutral which I LOVED. There’s not a lot of products out there, especially kits that include multiple items, that are not GENDERED. Like heavily gendered and heavily heterosexual. I thought it was pretty thoughtfully done and really appreciated it.

Reviewer #2: It’s also just a really well designed box, I was at the local public library and couldn’t resist opening it because it’s really just such a compelling invitation to see what’s up. The presentation of the whole thing feels very “gateway drug”–if the thing scaring you about kink is all the black and leather and (perceived) seriousness, this is the perfect way to get you excited about The Life (lol). The whole thing really gives off family game night vibes circa 1998, but ideally it’s featuring you and some play partners’ naked butts! Fun!

Reviewer #3: I agree, this box is EXTREMELY CUTE and I immediately felt so excited about opening it and exploring whatever was inside of it because of the great branding. If you were giving this as a gift you could be very proud of yourself because it’s sexy and adorable, and receiving it as a gift in the mail made me feel very special which is a great beginning to a spanking session.

I hate games. I’m that friend that will make up an excuse to leave the dinner party early if anyone whips out Scrabble or Monopoly or suggests charades or goddess knows what else. So the game aspect made me feel… anxious, and less excited.

Reviewer #1: IMO, this kit is for folks who are interested in trying something new in the bedroom and might not know where or how to start. The kit introduces a multitude of ways to talk about spanking before, during and after play. At first I thought it was a little mild, because I found the games to be a little silly — although the card deck was delightful.

Reviewer #3: The games, as I suspected, turned me off. This truly might be a me thing – I really, really hate games – but ultimately I just couldn’t even handle the idea of bringing them to a play partner. The descriptions felt like they desexualized the whole experience of spanking, and as one of the reviewers above me mentioned, I’m a bottom and had no interest in switching things up. My date is a very willing and creative top; I would have felt ridiculous handing her a pamphlet that included the words “Spank you very much” and “Rules of Kinkgagement.” That said, I do think a more playful person than me might really like the guide and the games, and I think if you’re a beginner feeling overwhelmed about where to start it could be useful.

Reviewer #2: The games are really good if you’re feeling switchy/want a way to experiment with both sides of the spanking game because they encourage you to take turns! I am a True Bottom and only wanted to bottom so I felt silly a lot, but I did it! My partner said I was not a convincing top, however, which was a fair assessment. I wasn’t into it.

Reviewer #3: I was really impressed with the variety of toys in the box. They ranged from very 101 (a cute ruler! An un-intimidating baby paddle!) to very much not 101 (vampire gloves!!!!!) and the explanation surrounding each toy was really comprehensive. If I were new to spanking and trying to figure out if I liked it at all and what specific sensations I might enjoy, I think this box would be perfect.

My favorite part of the box, perhaps predictably, was the vampire gloves. I was honestly surprised to see such an intense looking toy in such a light hearted box, but I’ve been wanting to try these for a while and was thrilled to have the chance. My date was equally excited and we both really enjoyed them, though they are definitely intense and they will make your bottom’s ass bleed if you spank her with any amount of force. They look very sexy though and my date confirmed that they felt very sexy on her hands as well – I agreed, they did look very sexy on her hands and it felt very sexy when she touched me with them. They’re also very fun to use gently after an intense spanking for sensation play, so if you don’t want to bleed but still want to try them out, just use a lighter intensity touch. 10/10, love the vampire gloves.

Reviewer #1: I’ve never used vampire gloves and I was GLEEFUL when I saw these were included in the box! These fuckers don’t fuck around. For folks who want intense play, these were a really nice inclusion. I also appreciated how they talked about care and cleaning – -making sure people knew that these gloves can’t be sanitized and used with multiple partners who aren’t fluid-bound. Way to look out, Kink Kit!

Reviewer #2: Okay I also loved those little vampire gloves! I don’t know how I feel about being made to bleed, but it was a fun new way to experiment with sensations. I especially enjoyed the feeling of using them after being spanked with the paddle and the little welts all over it created. These were, in my opinion, other than the branding, the most exciting part of the box. Oh! And their insistence on aftercare. Not only did they include a little bootie cream, there was an entire game dedicated to aftercare, and that felt really holistic. It made me feel great to have a guide to leading an aftercare session, especially after being thrust into topping.

Reviewer #3: I will say that the aftercare discussion topics are great and not too cutesy (my main issue with the language in the rest of the pamphlet) at all. Asking “what was your favorite,” “did you have any moments of release, and if so, when,” “did you feel uncomfortable at any point,” and “is there anything you need right now,” is almost mandatory after play, I would say. The guide suggested these and several more and I thought that was really responsible and awesome, and again, a really great tool for anyone not super familiar with “the art of spank” (lol).

Reviewer #1: My least favorite item was the wooden paddle. It’s a little thin and the wood felt like it was splintering when run over the skin. The paddle I own is a super thick block of wood covered in leather (and rabbit fur on one side because I’m a fancy bitch) so I’m spoiled with that particular item.

Reviewer #2: I hate to say it, but the paddle scared me. I was honestly afraid that it’d give me splinters it felt so unfinished in my hands. I even rubbed some finishing wax/jelly thing that I got for some Ikea furniture and that helped a little, but I did not like holding it.

Being spanked with it was another thing entirely, though! The paddle is perfect for all day/night long play and the games make that an exciting possibility. It’s the perfect amount of stingy; sometimes I feel like things are so stingy my ass and thighs feel like they’re itching?? This was not that. Gave me a nice, happy little glow, and the games caused me to play longer than I usually would. I’m definitely gonna keep this one by my bed for quick and easy access, but maybe I’ll wrap the handle with something? Or sand it? I am not a handyqueer, but I feel like there’s got to be a way to make it less scary to use.

Reviewer #1: The plastic ruler the kit came with was cute. I know folks praise household kink items (there’s a particular term for this but I don’t care enough to look it up). I’ve never really explored home kink items because I perfer items specifically made for sex and digging through my kitchen pantry during playtime sounds terrible unless I’m going to involve food in our fucking. It was cute to play with the ruler and my partner really liked the sound the ruler made against their skin, more so than the actual sensation. There were also two brushes that mostly confused me and my partner.

My favorite item was The Butters Bruise Soother. The Butters makes some REALLY YUMMY lube (not actually yummy, but like really great oil-based lube). It felt nice on the skin and was great for rubbing down sensitive skin after any sort of kink play and was slippery enough for a massage.

Reviewer #2: For my newly kinky friends, this is a really great resource for figuring out what you like and how you like it. Plus, like I said, it really is like family game night, so there’s so little pressure that the whole thing ends up being a laugh fest. I love a silly product, I love opportunities to remember that kink can be frivolous and fun, and this box did that!

Reviewer #3: I think overall this box is extremely well-curated but if you’re not into being guided through a sex or play session, it might feel a little over the top for you. I personally will use each piece of the box in a deconstructed way moving forward (I loved all the products) but I wouldn’t use it as intended all together because as it turns out that’s just not my jam. YMMV.

Reviewer #1: In conclusion, the actual items in the Spanking Kink Kit were a mixed bag, but they had some really great ideas and really goofy games. I thought of these games as jumping off points, there were ways to adapt and change the games that would work better for me and my partner but I wouldn’t have pushed my imagination there if I didn’t have the Kink Kit to get my mind moving in that direction. I think these kits would be great for folks who want a giggly playful time in the bedroom and want a nice all-in-one set to get them there.

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  1. I really want to know more about this rabbit-fur paddle Reviewer #1!!! I have a paddle that’s a bit too stinky and I’ve been wanting to give it some more thud with leather on one side but I DO have a rabbit pelt lying around. I’d love to see how this is assembled!

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