Also.Also.Also: Your Girlfriend Kristen Stewart and Other Stories We Missed

There’s a link at the bottom of this post that will change your life. Here are some things we missed while I was trying to intimidate the repairman who came to fix my dryer!

You Should Go or Do or Give

+ Queereka is looking for writers!

+ Fire and Ink IV is accepting proposals through February 15.

Queer as in F*ck You

+ Here’s Dannielle O-R (can I call her that? we’ll see!) and Rachel Cantu in the premiere episode of Boxers or Briefs! You will love this so much. Holy crap.

+ Jayne Ozanne, Church of England Evangelical Activist, Comes Out as a Lesbian.

+ Know Someone Who Deserves a Free Custom Suite? It’s from Bindle & Keep!

+ Being Genderqueer at a Women’s Naked Spa by Rae Tutera.

+ ‘How Queer Photo Project’ Shows Off Dapper Asian Style.

+ What It Feels Like to be Legally Married After Seven Years by Aly Windsor.

As we trudged to the soccer fields, I looked at all of the other families arriving, most of whom had no idea what just happened to us. For the first time, we were equal to them, at least under the law. I had imagined this moment for years and always expected to feel elation or maybe just sweet, sweet relief.

Instead I felt rage.

Just a week earlier, we had made this same trek from the parking lot to the fields, camping chairs slung over our shoulders, water bottles in hand. We had been the same people, the same couple, the same family. But we did not have the same protections. Now because some judge somewhere said so, with the crack of a gavel, our status had changed.

Fuck that.

Doll Parts

+ EXCUSE ME IT’S A TWITTER CHAT ABOUT SEX AND MENSTRUATION with Erika Moen, Gladrags and Scarleteen! It’s happening tonight from 6-7 PST with the hashtag #sexperiod.

sex period

+ Just have some Broad City paper dolls why dontcha??!

+ Lily Tomlin On Grandma, Weed, and Jane Fonda.

+ New Kids’ Book Rad American Women A-Z.

rad american women a-z

+ Here’s a little roundtable of Tiny Rebellions from the staff at Rookie, in case you needed some inspiration on this lovely February day.

I don’t shave my pits, and if I see someone giving me a LOOK about it on the train (this happens a LOT in the summertime, when I’m not wearing sleeves), I will do anything I can to grab an overhead pole or hand-strap in their line of sight.

+ How much stage time does a female comedian get? Kailtyn Mitchell at Bitch has the stats for you.

+ Trans Actress Michelle Hendley On Her Nude Scene, the Lesbian Stuff, and Movie Stardom

+ Stephanye Watts has gathered some afrofuturistic videos for you in celebration of Black Future Month (and Missy Elliot’s halftime brilliance): Black to the Future.

+ Loco Parentis: In All Possible Worlds by Aubrey Hirsch:

I’m currently pregnant with my second child and I thought I’d heard every pregnancy comment and fielded every pregnancy question that existed. But I was wrong. This will be our last baby and when people learn that, they sometimes say something like, “I hope it’s a girl.”

We don’t actually know the sex of this baby yet, but my first child is a son. He’s healthy and perfect, a dreamy, easy-going toddler. But people seem to think that without a girl my family would be incomplete. Their level of concern suggests that I’d be missing something big and important, something I really, really don’t want to miss.

When they say this, I don’t know how to respond. It’s not usually phrased as a question, so no answer is necessary. If it was, how would I respond? Do I want a girl? Yes. I do. But it’s more complicated than that.

+ Leaked Twitter Memo: “We Suck Dealing With Abuse and Trolls. Yes.

+ Who Takes Care of the Caretakers?: Valuing and Supporting Those Who Nourish our Movements Behind the Scenes from Tessara Dudley on BGD.

+ How to Have Sex with a Fat Person from Marianne.

Saw This, Thought of You

+ Tracy Moore explains how Godless Parents Are Doing a Better Job.

+ How It’s Possible for a Baby to Have Three Parents. SCIENCE!

+ Why Do Cats Love Boxes So Much? I DON’T KNOW, MARGOT.

+ Lego Doctor Who is Officially a Real Thing aka This is What Eli Will Spend All of His Money On Now.

+ In Colorado, LGBT High Schoolers Smoke Way More Pot via Sarah Kaufman. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT YET. Seriously you have to wait.

+ How to Reheat a Slice of Pizza on the Stove. You think that’s the best fucking thing that’ll happen to you all day but it’s not. It’s close, but it’s not.

Local Autostraddle Meet-Ups

+ 2/8 Brisbane, Queensland: Picnic and Queer Shorts Viewing Party

And Finally

I’m sorry this is the last thing you’ll ever read because it’s perfect and will kill you. I’m really sorry.

Mallory Ortberg and If Kristen Stewart Were Your Girlfriend

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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lnj has written 310 articles for us.


    just bless you, laneia.

    also i loved windsor’s piece…i have a really hard time processing anger and it usually hits me in the most unexpected places and in strange ways so i just related so hard and loved it so much.

  2. Welp, my life will never be complete now that I’ve read “If Kristen Stewart Were Your Girlfriend”. So, thanks for that, I guess.

    • i agree. it was basically just rude of mallory to even start such a thing. it was at once the greatest yet most terrible gift of all.

  3. “If Kristen Stewart were your girlfriend” is so good. But I do want to go to coachella with her.

  4. And another item to add to the list of things I never knew I wanted or needed until I saw them – Broad City paper dolls.

  5. How are the weird corners of the Internet so great this week?! My browser caught a sad from my tab hoarding.

    • I was very sad when I finished reading her Effing Dykes blog (still on hiatus.) It taught me everything I needed to know…

    • ^agreement with every prior contribution to this
      (like actually I started reading Effing Dykes way back in the Denial Period and it helped me to better understand and value my identity)

  6. I totally unknowingly met Michelle Hendley at a weird 4th of July party while I was trying to get in another girl’s pants, and then again at similar parties that summer while, again, trying to get in some girls’ pants…I saw her name pop up a week or so ago attached to that film and was like, wait a sec, I remember that name/face. So cool to see the crappy town I live in represent! She’s cool.

  7. Has anyone seen betty who’s video ‘all if you’? Is it just me or there some girl on girl sub text there?

    • well evergreen, i just looked into the video and yes indeed, i do believe there is some subtext! but also i don’t know anything about this betty who person.

  8. “But unlike the genes a baby inherits from its mother’s egg and father’s sperm, mitochondrial DNA has nothing to do with the baby’s looks, temperament, or non-mitochondrial fitness. At least, that’s the hope.”

    Actually, I think it would be awesome if the babies looks would be affected. That way two cis moms could have a baby that looked like both of them. …But maybe that’s just a pipe dream of mine.

  9. More like my real life: “If K-Stew were my close friend and I had a huge crush on her but wasn’t sure she was queer or not but she kept flirting with me and telling me I was special but then I’d try to make a move and she’d be like ‘oh sorry i don’t think i can be in a relationship but let’s still hang out all the time’ and she’d tell me what underwear she’s wearing on laundry day and I’d die a little inside and find it hard to look at her”.

    Maybe that’d be too real.

  10. I don’t know which is hotter: the part with Kirsten Stewart, or the part where Kirsten Stewart introduces you to Joan Jett.

    (I actually started really getting into Joan Jett because of Kirsten’s portrayal of her in the Runaways. sakdakljfldskfjdslkfs hot badasses zomg)

  11. Definitely buying that Rad American Women book. For myself and also to have on a bookshelf when I’m finally teaching my own classroom.

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