Also.Also.Also: I’m Very Bi-Serious About This, and Other Stories We Missed This Week

Hello, queens! (And I mean that in all of the queerest ways possible. Lookin’ at you, Elton John.) It’s Wednesday, which means I’ve spent seven whole days scanning my Feedly at work and waiting with intense anxiety to bring you the stories we missed this week. Also, sleeping. Oversleeping, to be exact.

Daily Reminder: Bisexuality Is Real, F*ck These People

America’s inability to deal with Lady Gaga’s bisexuality is probably emblematic of the fact that 15% of Americans think bisexuality isn’t “legit” – with lots of queers among them. Can we please get with the picture?


On Getting Over The Gay Thing: Political Tales of LGBT Discourse

+ Voters in conservative states like South Carolina are coming around to gay marriage at light speed! Though they aren’t quite all with us yet.


+ The upcoming votes on ENDA could be critical for the Republican Party if they plan to, well, stay in business at all (though they don’t seem to really “get it” at all).

+ Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter wants his city to be the “most LGBT-friendly in the world,” and he’s off to a strong start with a slew of new protections in place for the queers of his heartland.

+ In Texas, two same-sex couples are challenging the state’s gay marriage ban.

Because I’m Very Cultured

If you don’t know any good queer artists, here’s 11.

Nicole Goodwin, Bonafide Queer Artist

Nicole Goodwin, Bonafide Queer Artist

Susan Eisenberg’s exhibit “On Equal Terms” talks gender disparity in construction.


Feelings About Russia and the Olympics

Russia’s fucked, because Love Always Wins. Plus, I bet the “Gay Games” in Moscow will be about twenty times more fun and colorful than the Olympics anywayPut your hand up to this pane of glass if you feel me!

The Debut of Their Debutante

When it comes to Cotillion, nothing beats genuine, loving parents watching you grow up – and as for the “two moms” thing, well. F*ck anyone who gets in your way.


Dear Civil Behavior: My wife and I are mothers of a lovely and accomplished 17-year-old daughter, who has been invited to have her debut this year at our annual cotillion. I was fortunate to have a debut as a young woman in the early 1980s and view it as a significant rite of passage that I would like my daughter to also experience. What, if any, are the special considerations for the daughter of same-sex parents who are female? We have many male family members and friends who have offered to present her, but is this necessary? — Boomer Debutante, Dallas

A. Indeed, this is not the kind of “coming out” issue I usually address, but what an interesting question — and one that on second glance is much more layered than it first appears. For the 99 percent of us who are not a part of “Society,” your query is really a stand-in for all the other situations where a daughter with lesbian moms might lack a dad for certain rituals, like “father/daughter” dances and being “given away” at her wedding.

…As your daughter has been invited (which makes it pretty much a done deal), the “committee” must be well aware of your family situation, which gives your debutante-in-waiting various options. The three of you should talk it over and decide whether one or both moms will present her. Whether she chooses one of you or prefers a threesome, walk in proudly, arm in arm with your beautiful daughter. Just as you’ve no doubt done for her whole life, show your daughter you are proud of her, and of your family.

This Video Is Sweet

Told you so.

Bulletin Board: You Should Go and/or Give and/or Submit

Girl on Girlthe could-be documentary about femmes and the invisibility which ails them, needs your help!

+ The LA Gay and Lesbian Wedding Expo is coming up this weekend!


+ Remember The Revival? I loved that ish, and now they need your help to make their epic, poetry-filled road trip into a MOVIE. COME ON, Y’ALL.

+ The Hoax zine “is a collaborative zine attempting to bring feminisms into everyday life.” And they’re soliciting submissions on “Embodiments” by December 10! Get yr academic on.

+ Wanna hear bell hooks and Melissa Harris-Perry talking black womanhood? You totally can, you know, if you can make it to NYC by Friday.

+ Pier Kids explores the lives of the LGBT homeless youth who “call the Christopher St. Pier home.” But everything means nothing if they ain’t got you.

+ The feature film AWOL requires your dough to spice up your life.

+ Hey, San Francisco! Time is running out to catch the “romp through gender queerness” that is Sidewinders at the Cutting Ball.



The Unicorn Is So Mainstream

Scotland sold us out a long, long time ago.

The official animal of Scotland is the Unicorn.

A fictitious creature may seem an odd choice for a country’s national animal, but perhaps not for a country famed for its love for and long history of myth and legend, and the unicorn has been a Scottish heraldic symbol since the 12th century, when it was used on an early form of the Scottish coat of arms by William I.

Maybe they’ll share with us.

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Join AF+!


Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


  1. I am really confused about this whole idea that people can’t be bisexual! I think we can all agree that sexuality is on a spectrum, I myself, can often find men attractive and even develop crushes on them. However, I don’t consider myself bisexual. I don’t want to have sex with men, but I have faced stigmatism even amongst my lesbian friends for saying ” oh, he’s cute!” Often that is followed by a response of “ew gross” or “are you sure you’re gay?” I’m often upset by these responses. I own identity and I identify as a lesbian. I like women, end of story. No one has the right to define me except me! I dated a bisexual and I fully supported her and I never questioned her indentity and neither should anyone else. I am disheartened when I hear other queers diminishing the bisexual indentity. How dare you discriminate against people in your own community, and to simply state that bisexuality is “not real” is absolutely absurd!

    Also just to clarify on a scale of 1-Gay, I’m at about an and a half

    • Well, some people can make even their sexuality not to be about whom they love but whom they hate.

      It is something i don’t understand – but i see examples quite often. Abusive relationships, PUAs, your ‘ew gross’ crowd…

  2. Ah, bisexuality. I’m bi, pretty evenly and currently dating a cisman. I’m getting a lot of “I thought you didn’t like men!” and “You changed your mind again?” and “You’re getting ready to graduate, it makes sense.” Could we not, everyone?

  3. Willow Run Bomber Plant! I went to school in Ypsilanti, where Willow Run is close to. People are pretty proud of the plant history there.

    Also, there’s a fantastic diner called The Bomber in Ypsi. Pretty sure you can figure out why.

  4. I’ve had an identity crisis since adolescence with all the people who claim I don’t exist. It’s so bad I don’t even like using the word to describe myself. I want to blame attention whores like Gaga who seem to use bisexuality as a shock tactic to keep people interested. But who am I to question her sexual identity, and doesn’t that make me as bad as the biphobic people who directly harm myself and other bisexuals? I remember being 13 or so and being enraged that Tila Tequila existed. People who do it for attention support everything negative that people say

    It’s the worst in the gay community, it really is. Even those who claim to support it often don’t. So many lesbians have told me they’d never date a bisexual woman, which really hurts my feelings and makes me feel like I am flawed for being the way I am. I think it’d be especially terrible to be a bisexual male… if people are skeptical of bi women, they straight up refuse to believe the men exist at all. Every guy who I’ve suspected is interested in both men and women either identifies as straight or gay. It breaks my heart.

  5. I’ve gotta admit, I am now like Public Queernemy No. 1, but I used to be VERY lesbian/biphobic in middle and high school because I recognized desires in myself that I felt society had declared wrong and was therefore doing that overcompensating thing where you’re like LADIES LIKING LADIES IS GROSS I WOULD NEVARRRR!!! Even as a 17, 18, 19 year old who had begun identifying as an ally to the LGBT community, I wouLD say terrible stuff like, “I support gays but bisexuality is so confusing. Bi guys end up being gay and bi girls just want attention. I don’t think it’s a thing.” Now I am TOTALLY OUT AS BI and TOTALLY PISSED at myself and all the others, in both the LGBT and straight communities, who perpetuate ridiculous myths, stereotypes, and ideas about bisexuality.

    Sorry, for some reason that relatively brief part of this article talking about bisexuality brought up all my *sUpEr PeRsOnAl* feelings and experiences concerning biphobia. It is really irritating, though, that the mainstream media will talk about “gays” without mentioning trans people, bisexuals, asexuals, etc. etc. Like, “gay” is not an all-encompassing term and generally refers to white gay men who are relatively well-off. Can we be more inclusive and not totally erase people’s sexuality and gender identity?!?!

  6. Aaaaahhh that proposal video!!! It made me cry so much more than all those elaborate choreographed ones that keep going around… *melts into puddle of feelings*

  7. I was really excited to see the link to Girl on Girl on here. I ran into this girl (and her girlfriend) on a plane, about a year ago, and we all did the sideways-eye-thing before launching into a conversation about femme invisibility as we got off the plane. Was disappointed then that I had to run off, and really hope this project succeeds!

  8. Thanks for mentioning Susan Eisenberg’s work about discrimination in construction. Some of what I have seen and experienced on job sites is fucking unreal.

    Is anyone else here in the trades?

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