Results for: be the change
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You Need Help: How Do I Navigate Femme Invisibility Without Changing Who I Am?
“You mention that you don’t want to shout that you are a lesbian from the rooftops, and of course, there are places that would be unsafe to do that — but you might consider the possibility that there are more opportunities to do so than you think.”
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You Need Help: How Do I Stop Hating My Face?
You do not need to change your face. But I do think you can start to change your thoughts.
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You Need Help: You Should Divorce Your Transphobic Wife
Your wife fell in love with you and built a life with you and you’re a woman. You didn’t become a woman. You didn’t trick her into being queer — her own feelings did that.
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You Need Help: I Feel Disconnected From Gender As a Concept
“Identifying as a woman doesn’t feel right, but affirmatively identifying as ‘not a woman’ also doesn’t feel right.”
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You Need Help: How Do I Navigate Misgendering as a Nonbinary Femme?
Your work is not to make yourself more palatable to those who might misunderstand you. Your work is to be your glorious full self, too complex to be pigeonholed by any other person on this earth. And if your friends can’t respect you? They’re not your people.
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You Need Help: As a Transmasc, Am I Welcome in Lesbian Spaces?
You see, for me and you, dating women wasn’t the only thing that made us lesbians or gay. It’s an entire culture with a rich history of tradition, identity, protest, community, and so much more.
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You Need Help: Will I Ever Feel Comfortable in My Own Skin?
Your story begins with letting go of the way your body looked before. Your body does not exist primarily to be seen. Here are some thoughts and some practical resources about how to move forward and learn to be comfortable in your own skin.
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You Need Help: I’m 13 — How Do I Explore My Butch Identity?
Sometimes when you’re exploring a new aspect of your identity, you might feel like you have to emulate something specific. But there’s no one way to be butch. Go out there and live your best butch life!
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You Need Help: Everyone Thinks I’m Lying To Myself About My Gender
“If you were to ask me my gender, I’d say ‘lesbian.’ The problem is people in my life will not stop asking me if I’m nonbinary or trans. Everyone keeps asking if I have new pronouns.”
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You Need Help: Can I Date While Living With My Homophobic Parents?
Dating can be amazing and wonderful. But if you currently rely on homophobic parents for material support, it may be time to focus on planning the next stage of your life — one where you are less dependent on your parents, and have the space to fully be yourself.
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You Need Help: I’m 49 and Questioning — Is It Too Late for Me?
It is not too late for you! Every day, we wake up and make our lives anew. What do you want your life to be today?
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You Need Help: How Can I Be My Authentic Self While Navigating Bi-Erasure and Biphobia?
You can’t control other people’s reactions to your coming out. But you can create for yourself a network of people who unequivocally support your bisexuality/queerness and who understand the specific joys and challenges we face.
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You Need Help: I’m a Trans Woman Looking For Affirming Lesbian Content
The point is this: it sucks that we still have to struggle with inclusion in lesbian community, your feelings are valid, and I hope you’ll be OK whether or not you can find enough trans lesbian-specific content online. Now, with all of that bluster out of the way, here are some recommendations.
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You Need Help: I Just Turned 65 and I’m Questioning My Sexuality
I think everyone in the queer community knows this but I think we need to say it more explicitly and more often: Queerness is a journey.
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You Need Help: I Can’t Figure Out What I Should Wear and Who I Should Date
You don’t need to have one particular vibe, type, or style. You don’t have to have it all figured out now, next week, or next year.
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You Need Help: Will I Ever Grow Out Of The Messy Questioning Phase?
Accept the messy questioning phase. It’s the whole point of being alive.
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You Need Help: I Just Came Out, and I Feel Weird
Coming out isn’t a magic trick that makes us suddenly understand ourselves completely.
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You Need Help: I Never Imagined I’d Live Past 20. Now What?
Babe, I promise you’re right on time. In 2020 I can’t be sure of hardly anything, but I am sure that you are good. You belong right where you are, and you get to do the messy work of finding out what’s next.
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You Need Help: A Non-Binary Woman Working Through the Gender Feels
“Sometimes, when we allow ourselves to open a door, to open a possibility, the weight of that possibility and that choice is damn heavy – and overwhelming.”
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You Need Help: How Do I Tell If I’m a Butch Cis Woman or a Trans Non-Binary Person?
If I could tell everyone how to differentiate between gender expression feels and gender feels, I’d be Sovereign Ruler of Gender and maybe things would be easier, but probably also a lot less fun.