I AM THE ONLY trans guy ON CABLE! But instead of integrating me into your show, you’ve progressively emphasized how my differences make me at odds with the lesbian community and the only personality trait you’ve given me is “self-loathing.”

We had a special visitor from Australia (Oz, co-leader of The L Word Online ) and creator, head writer, director and executive producer of AfterEllen’s hit series Alexi’s Closet, Alexi Melvin. Because the “Fly Riese to LA and/or Haviland to NYC so they can vlog and watch The L Word together” fund is very empty (TIP JAR PEOPLE!), she obvs won’t be watching, but I did get everyone else to come, and this little post will end with all of Team Autostraddle telling YOU what they’ve liked best, and loathed, about The L Word thus far.

This week in L Word University we learn how to say fuck in sign language, Phyllis assigns “The Whole Lesbian Sex Book,” and Alice and Jenny channel the masters.

Good news: on a scale of one to ten, this episode was “not bad!” There was a surprising amount of sex from miss i-never-give-the-girls-what-they-want chaiken, it was directed by Jamie Babbit, Foxy Brown came to the jailhouse, and Inconceivable showed up from ‘The Princess Bride.’

Why are there twice as many lesbian squabbles as lesbian sexy moments in this show? Oh yeah, it’s because this is the way that we liveeeeeeeee. This is the one where Ilene reminds us all that men are disgusting, loathsome creatures by making henry cut his toenails.

Oh look! A special visit from The Ditty Bops! In this installment of our favorite saga, Alice says “what the frickin’ frack?!,” Max stlll has an unfortunately soulpatch, and Alice and Shane make us remember why vandalism can be fun.

Despite the fact that angus is a lying low-down nanny-fucking motherfucker, GIRLS ACTUALLY HAVE SEX THIS EPISODE. Even Kit and Papi. Ew, we know.