(God that was boring sex. Not worth the eventual outcome)
(Remember the girl who was training me at my new job said “if your fluids don’t mix with someone else’s, they’re probably not the person for you.” What a weird thing to say.)
(She was right, I guess, about that specific girl.)
Well, that’s one benefit of two years of pandemic-induced celibacy!
Azo tabs, focus
How fast can I get Azo tabs
I really need to clean my bathroom, wow
I’ll never be able to pee without cringing again
UTI antibiotics should be available over the counter!
Why are the AZO tab makers content with my pee being neon orange
Could they make my pee turquoise or magenta instead
Actually, scratch that, magenta might be too alarming
I bet Audrey Hepburn never got a UTI
Does drinking a blueberry-pomegranate sparkling water count as “hydrating”
Does my back hurt? Has it spread to my kidneys?
Or is that just from sitting for 8 hours a day in an “ergonomic” desk chair I bought off Instagram
Should I really be using a vibrator in this trying time
This is a cosmic punishment for having too much sex
PEE AFTER SEX DUMMY!
I’m never having sex again
I really, really can’t wait to have sex again
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Analyssa is a co-host of the To L and Back podcast: Gen Q edition. She lives in LA, works at a TV studio, and can often be found binge-watching an ABC drama from 2008. You can follow her on Twitter, Instagram, or her social media of choice, Letterboxd.