Lesbian Sexy in 27 Parts: An NSFW Sunday Spectacular

SEXY LESBIANS: We started this post at midnight last night which is usually when we aim to finish this post. So, in lieu of any other brilliant ideas we decided to go super general and just whip out you know — stuff that’s sexy! Easy, right?

So we did a survey of lesbians accessible via email, texting, g-chat, twitter, and the living room and come up with the following Things That Are Sexy. We weren’t able to visually represent everything this week, so you know what that means… TWO PARTER!

Here’s the gallery!

g-chat editor’s meeting:

laneia: BOIS
riese: bois bois bois
laneia: RAIN
sarah: kissing in the rain. addendum.
riese: aw, sarah
laneia: KISSING BOIS IN THE RAIN
riese: oh that’s a triple threat

Have anything to add? We could use something edgy. Y’all are so f*cking vanilla sometimes, I swear.

VADGE: Six weirdest things women do to their vaginas. This seems to be a trend lately; every week someone’s got something to say about the vadge! (@alternet)

V-DAY: Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for couples from Babeland. (@babeland)

IN THE ARMY: Lesbian Army Drill – “There’s something (unintentionally?) hilarious about the Lesbian Army porn site. The room is cheap, the girls are Slavic pretty, the gear is Red Army surplus, and the plot lines are a novel mix of boot camp, military hazing, and cartoony “here’s your rubber dick, congrats you’re lesbian!” lesbianism:”

ASS: American Apparel is searching for the best ass in the world for a new ad campaign. So there will be lots of pictures of asses on their website for you to vote on is what we’re telling you.

PORN: Queer porn star Jiz Lee gives movie reviewing a shot: I’ve got to hand it to porn reviewers, this is hard work and not for everyone! When HotMoviesForHer.com asked me if I’d be interested in reviewing a film or two on their site I thought I’d give it a go. So I tried to sit down with a double-whammy, comparing “Hole” to “The Hole.” (@jizless)

REVIEW: Review – Under-the-Bed Restraints: Don’t let your girlfriends lack-of-a-headboard get in the way of a little bondage! (@sugarbutch)

IPAD: Super porn producers Digital Playground just announced their compatibility with the newly announced Apple iPad for watching all things porn. (@digital playground)

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2716 articles for us.

70 Comments

  1. Those 6 things women do to their vag made me sad. But it did make me giggle to read the phrase “vagina colored vagina” repeatedly.

    Alright, will work on a list of things I didn’t want to tweet but will share directly here.

  2. Ah I was actually sleeping when this twittering (tweeting?) about sexiness happened! And I never sleep at socially acceptable hours of the night=(

    I’m a big fan of collarbones, stomachs, and girls who cook (for me, obvs). I can’t/refuse to cook so that last one is a BIG deal.
    Also, fans of classical music, musicians, and crazy people are pretty high on the list.
    Oh and a sense of humor! That’s a biggie.

    Ok I need to stop thinking about this and start reading Paradise Lost.
    John Milton is so not sexy!!!

  3. First things first, once again, I am indeed at work, while browsing NSFW Sunday. I’d like to think this is my weekly contribution to DAMN THE MAN.

    Second, GUYS YOU CAN’T HIT ME WITH RANDOM PICS OF TASHA/ROSE ROLLINS. It makes me pant/fall out of my chair/burst into a chorus of ‘oh my god’s/etc. Sheesh.

    Third, every time some mentions Rose Rollins I end up tweeting about her, and then going to look for pics or something. This time I ended up finding out that there’s gonna be a GIRLTRASH! movie. Am I the only person who didn’t know this?

    Lip rings mostly bother me. There are certain people who make them look so so good, but 90% of people with them make me upset. I think I mostly like the one in the middle, too.

    Bette Porter, hell yes.

    AND THEN YOU HIT ME WITH THE SHANE?! You’re my best friend for life, AS, but your sense of humor is CRUEL.

    I try to tell people all the time that douching is not okay. You’re not supposed to do that. It’s a self-cleansing organ. Only do it if a doctor tell you to (and they never will.)

    UNDER THE BED RESTRAINTS. What a godsend!

    Damn seven year olds are PERVS.

    Sorry, I’ve been having a caps issue.

  4. Re: Things that are sexy – sitting on my lap, eye lid kisses, and garters (belts not snakes).

    Re: Six weirdest things women do to their vaginas – There should be zero risk of confusing a vagina with a tropical island.

    Re: Under-the-bed restraints – I have these. They’re nice. I also have a vibrating bed. I want to do a webseries that opens with me throwing a lady on my bed and turning on the vibrations. She’ll say, “You have magic fingers?!” I’ll reply, “Yeah, and I have a vibrating bed, too.” These are some of the things you should know about me.

  5. Oh oh you know who else is sexy? Serious poets/spoken word artists. Dates a lot of those since I’m in the circle, haha.
    WRITERS. Not the J. Schecter kind. Well, maybe. DJs, but I can’t stand Carmen.
    The ladykiller kind of gal, like SHANE.
    Guys, you’ve gotten me started.

  6. you know that place right at the base of the ear on the side of the neck? that place.
    .
    you know what else is sexy? when a girl is sarah shahi. i fucking love it when girls are sarah shahi.

    • OMG. Some years ago I was helping my best friend volunteer at the Amnesty International booth for International Women’s Day. While I was trying to explain AI to some visitors, said friend snuck up behind me and kissed me RIGHT AT THAT SPOT. So my speech ended up being “We’re all about women’s rights…skifcnjmxkflskfmxlzsdad;;;…and that’s why you should join Amnesty International.”

      Damn woman, why are you straight as an arrow, argh >:|

  7. Sexy is a girl who knows all the words to “I’m On Fire” and has read all of Bret Easton Ellis’s novels.

    In regards to the six weirdest things women do to their vaginas, I was wondering how women get vaginaplasty. In rhinoplasty you get to pick the nose you want so it only seems fair that in vaginaplasty you get to pick the vagina you want.

  8. REDHEADS. Especially with freckles and green eyes. AISDNJFDSLJ I swear I must have been Scottish or dated a Scottish person in a past life or something, or maybe I’m just coveting my exact opposite. But GUH. MELTY.

    Also: Queer women have the BEST voices. Seriously. It’s not even a lisp or anything like that, they just sound awesome. I know a few queer women and transmen whose voices I could listen to for AGES.

    Yay suits! Also black bra + black trousers = YUM. Also add fedora/gangsta hat.

  9. Mouths. The bigger the better. And like, when you still can smell her on your sheets and towels. And dressing in lots of layers/ dressing for wintertime (because there are totally more clothes to take off). And kitchen/cooking chemistry — its like foreplay!

  10. Hot: Girls with freckles, glasses, a girl who drinks like a grownup, messy hair, passing the oral exam, smart girls, girls who like musicals. Must love Dad.

    I really wish I could make big noses and computer geekery the new abs and wifebeaters because then I would be SET

  11. Lap dancing. Dirty talk. Taking off my underwear with her teeth. Motorcycles. Hot rides in general. Wearing nothing but a giant t-shirt. Pantsuits. Lip stick marks on skin.

  12. Making my first comment on autostraddle on this post, because these things are important. (*waves to everyone*)

    Eyeliner
    Boots
    Handcuffs- or scarves, or anything light bondage.
    Short Hair.
    Cute glasses with hoodies and hair in messy ponytails or buns.
    Draw stings on pajama pants
    Belt loops
    Ties
    Knee Socks
    Phrasing. Seriously- good phrasing is really sexy.
    Things whispered against lips

  13. Hot – girls who swear a bit and are mouthy and rude (in that hot way, you know?), tattoos, necks + strong backs, hands, being able to skateboard, lip piercings, can make me LOL ’til my stomach hurts, big smiles, sarcasm.

    To name a few! Haha.

  14. I gotta be honest, I stared at the asses picture for a good two three minutes there.

    As a result I haven’t had the chance to think of anything else that I find sexy about a women. I have to go regroup…

  15. this is what i miss when i don’t have a computer!

    i like dimples, weirdos [http://xkcd.com/122/], girls who write pretty things, sweatpants, someone who is good at doing things that i’m not, and also muscles.

  16. forearms. strong forearms, but not too muscly. but not too thin wrists either. also veins are kinda sexy.

    glasses, but not when they’re worn all the time.

    lastly, if you want to win my heart without ever speaking to me, wear a dress shirt and don’t wear a wifebeater underneath.

  17. first comment…

    dimples, dancers, glasses only worn sometimes, curly hair, boy shorts, suspenders esp. worn by Bette Porter or Olivia Wilde, motivation, animal lovers, the soft skin on the side of her neck, or on her back, or her wrist… ha, i could go on..

  18. A particularly ‘cool’ walk, I can’t explain it really, it’s just, hm…sexy. Or a fabulous haircut. And last but not least, an exposed back, tatooed of course. *dreams*

  19. Oh goodness…

    Sexy = solid long sleeve tee with color coordinated plaid pajama pants; smaller boobs and voluptuous ass and legs; glasses after taking her contacts out; drastic sidesweep of the bangs; playfully giving me shit about loving “Bad Romance”; laying her head in my lap while I play with her hair and massage her scalp; being so content that two hours go by and you don’t even realize you’re still giving her a massage while watching a movie; her body heat; dirty talk; receiving sexy pics while at work; longboarding; laying between her legs; spooning; slightly gauged ears; love of all things Lord of the Rings and Superman; creative mind; dedication; secret desires; quiet intimacy; the occasional rough sex; Volcom & Roxy, etc. shirts; wearing nothing but a belt; me wearing her hoodie; skate shoes; brunette; boyshorts; thongs; getting ready in the bathroom with the door wide open; her protective side; grinding on the dance floor; perfect balance of masculine and feminine sides, etc…

    And Bette Porter/Jennifer Beals, Sarah Shahi, and Sara Ramirez are their very own categories of sexy.

  20. Clear pale skin with beauty spots in places that can only been seen when she bends a certain way and her top/skirt shifts … U catch ur self staring only wen she moves back to her original position and gives u a confused look and then a smug grin wen she realises why u have that stupid look on yer bake .. Ooo

    Celebs with amazing beauty spots- rose byrne, zoe tapper , etc … 😀

  21. I know I’m way late on commenting on this but I don’t care… Accents!! Lip biting, women who love women, and confidence! – Which brings me to 6 things women do to their vag. Why?! Part of the reason I love women is because of what they have between their legs. Their is nothing sexier than a lady who loves her parts as much as I do. Your vag is perfect the way it is! Big, small, tight, loose, pink, purple, whatever. Keep it clean but don’t alter it or hurt it. What would compel a woman to want to do any of those things? Vag confidence is sexy.

  22. Reading these all made me so happy… Made me realize that I don’t need to try to be perfect or beautiful or sexy for any girl because love just happens and it’s not about the body itself, it’s about how the person shines through it. 🙂

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