Chaiken’s Real Lesbian “Stories,” Gaga’s Blasphemous Orgy & ABC’s Pretty Little Lesbian Liar

We’ve been so busy with Alejandro/traveling/setting our alarms for 9pm instead of 9am that we’ve got a LOT of stuff to catch up on today for this arts & entertainment fix! Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready.

REAL L WORD:

Ilene Chaiken talks to the New York Times about The Real L Word and can’t resist using her favorite turn of phrase “our stories” approx 27 times throughout the interview.

Ms. Chaiken quickly learned the differences between scripted and reality. “I’m used to being in control, and I’m completely out of control in this case,” she said over coffee at a West Hollywood cafe. “I knew that I wasn’t writing these stories, I couldn’t say what was going to happen, and I couldn’t change course midstream and say, ‘God, maybe she should cheat on her and go out with her instead.’ “ Ms. Chaiken didn’t visit “the set” to avoid interfering with the women’s lives. The story process — where the producers discuss the latest footage at weekly story meetings — was actually less different than Ms. Chaiken had expected. “The surprising thing is the way it’s the same,” she said. “A good story is a good story.”

She also adds that, if successful, the next season will take place in Brooklyn, NY.

“I think the world at large doesn’t know how robust and vibrant a lesbian community exists in a major borough of New York.”

Hi! Actually, yes, we’re very aware of this. Please don’t come here and bring your cameras into our parties. We are just fine, right now, telling our own stories. Thank you.

(@nytimes)

GAGA:

We all had a lot of feelings about the Alejandro video — precap, recap & all! Today, the video’s director Steven Klein defended video’s religious symbolism:

“The religious symbolism is not meant to denote anything negative, but represents the character’s battle between the dark forces of this world and the spiritual salvation of the Soul,” Klein wrote. “Thus at the end of the film, she chooses to be a nun, and the reason her mouth and eyes disappear is because she is withdrawing her senses from the world of evil and going inward towards prayer and contemplation.” Klein added that the scene in which Gaga ingests the rosary beads is meant to represent “the desire to take in the holy.”

The New York Times’ Style Blog also really likes it: I like that Gaga continues to explore style (with the help of the stylist Nicola Formichetti), whether she is backtracking through Madonna country or making more abstract connections to art and film.”

However, the most confusing reaction of all comes from Katy Perry. Yeah, Perry kissed a girl and she liked it, but that was just fun party time high on life. Meanwhile, Lady Gaga’s video, according to Katy Perry is “blasphemous.”

You’ve probably read about this already as it happened a full 24-48 or so hours ago, but the recent response from the religious right, in our opinion, is really way more entertaining than anything Katy Perry has ever done. From Right Pundits:

Western Civilization has a new champion, maybe, in singer/artist Katy Perry! Perry has made a critical statement in regards to the new musical-video from singer/artist, Lady Gaga, called “Alejandro”. Lady Gaga appears dressed in an ultra-skin-tight vinyl nun outfit with a crucifix over her ‘unmentionable’. The video also includes Lady Gaga prancing about with other dancers, depicting some form of a lesbian orgy.

Um. Lesbian Orgy? Really? Where was that? We missed it!

Also… Imagine you were graduating from high school this week. Now imagine Lady Gaga is your big sister and is attending  with your family. Now imagine she wore a beekeeper’s hat to the event. How would you feel?  Discuss. (@ew)

GUINEVERE TURNER:

The sexy as hell writer/actress/director is our latest interview and she talks to us about writing for The L Word, the mythology behind The Chart (it was her idea!), writing the underwater fight scene for Michelle Rodriguez & Kristanna Loken in Bloodrayne, what she thinks of Go Fish two decades later and tons more. (@autostraddle)

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS:

Pretty Little Liars debuted on Tuesday night at 8 P.M. It’s about four hot rich girls who wear nice clothes at a fancy high school. Also, their former BFF is dead/missing friend (unfortch it’s not Jenny Schecter, that storyline will never be cleaned up will it). Why should this matter to you?

LESBIAN ALERT! Emily, played by Shay Mitchell, is a swimmer with pretty hair and is one of the four lead females. She also has a secret. In fact, all of her friends have secrets which is why they all freak out when Allison, the allegedly dead girl, starts sending them text messages revealing their secrets. Emily’s secret will be you favorite secret though.

Read Heather’s recap of the pilot episode of Pretty Little Liars at AfterEllen or start  reading the books.

Here’s the pilot episode. Get some popcorn, this shit looks legitimately interesting:

LINDSAY LOHAN:

An L.A. judge issued a warrant for her arrest for violating her parole conditions, possibly due to numerous reports that her alcohol-monitoring bracelet set off after the MTV Movie Awards. Lohan says I’ve got nothing for it to go off.” (@washingtonpost)

LEANNE HARTE:

Irish rock singer Leanne Harte has come out as a lesbian. She said she was hiding it due to her Catholic upbringing. (@daily mail uk)

ZOOEY DESCHANEL / RASHIDA JONES:

The actresses will play a gay couple in the upcoming Paul Rudd movie, My Idiot Brother. The film will also star Elizabeth Banks as Zooey’s and Paul Rudd’s sister. (@thehollywoodreporter)

I WANT MY GAY TV:

A new report shows that the peak hours for online video watching has moved from 12-3pm to 8-11pm, citing examples including lesbian web series, Anyone But Me on blip.tv. (@wallstreetjournal)

BIG BROTHER:

UK’s “Big Brother 11″ will feature a lesbian named Shabby, a squatter in a fedora who sounds more interesting than anyone else on the TV:

Her mum found out she was a lesbian when she was caught Shabby with her first girlfriend. She dislikes public transport, authority figures and strawberries – her fear of mould means she refuses to eat fruit at all . She hates being told no and has an inner spoilt brat waiting to get out. Oppression, and Keria Knightley, make her angry and she was once regressed and learnt she was an elf in a former life.

SARAH MCLACHLAN:

Sarah McLachlan performed “Loving You Is Easy” off Laws of Illusion on Letterman yesterday:

.

.THE LYNCH CAN DO NO WRONG:

Jane Lynch talks about the greatest/weirdest things fans say to her on the street.

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Jess is a pop culture junkie living in New York City. She enjoys endless debates about The L Word, Howard Stern, new techy gadgets, DVR, exploring the labyrinth of the Lesbian Internet, memoirs, working out, sushi, making lists, artsy things, anything Lady Gaga touches, traveling, puppies, and nyc in the fall. Find her on Twitter @jessxnyc or via email.

Jess has written 267 articles for us.

36 Comments

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    “at the end of the film, she chooses to be a nun, and the reason her mouth and eyes disappear is because she is withdrawing her senses from the world of evil and going inward towards prayer and contemplation.”

    Wow. Just WOW. If men do this to her… [please insert end of sentence]

    Also, if Katy Perry dislikes the video then I like it. Just because. I mean, I never like Katy Perry but I had no idea she was such a religious fundamentalist bigot…

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    I just tried to watch that Liars show OnDemand. OK, I’m lying, but my 12-year-old did, with me in the background saying, “OK, but if it’s inappropriate, I’m going to say NO! I’m just saying,” and her being all, “Mom! Gosh, neverMIND!” She gave up because the OnDemand was being all wonky, but not before I saw THE SECRET.

    Gay.

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    “I didn’t want to put forward a bunch of trashy lesbians.”

    Anyone else have a problem with this? Considering all the issues Ilene’s shows have re: race, class, body type, etc., her use of the word “trashy” really bothers me.

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      Yup, it’s super classist! Because Ilene needs to constantly rationalize her choice of fame/money/popularity over ethical business practices or loyalty to the community that supports her, she often says FANTASTIC things like that to interviewers. It’s unfortunate because imagine what a woman could do with Ilene’s business/money savvy as well as a good mind/heart/talent! Hm.

      Speaking of someone who is like the polar opposite of Ilene Chaiken, these lines (out of context) from Ani DiFranco’s “The Million That You Never Made” often seem apt to describe Ilene: “i’d like to go to all the pretty parties where all the pretty people go, and i ain’t really all that pretty but nobody will know, cuz everybody loves you when you’re a star, and nobody questions what it takes to go that far.”

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    UGH!! And this: “In heterosexual relationships I think it tends to be the women who drive a lot of the drama.”

    Yeah, and relationships between gay men are totally drama-free.

    Seriously, STAY OUT OF BROOKLYN.

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      She looks like Shane. I’ve renamed her Shane.

      If I could run a wire from my teevee right now, through my laptop to you, I would! I’m liking this Big Brother it seems very gay friendly.

      You can watch vids on the homepage. Not sure whether the live streaming will work for you though, in America.

      http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/

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    Lesbian orgy: I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.

    I would be more excited about Zooey Deschanel/Rashida Jones if I didn’t have a giant hate-on for Zooey Deschanel. Although Elizabeth Banks might be making up for it on principle.

    AUGH HULU WHY MUST YOU HATE AUSTRALIA :(

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      At the risk of sounding like a big spammer there are ways around those annoying “You don’t live in the U.S so WE HATE YOU” messages. The one I use is called hotspot shield. It brings up banner ads but if you only turn it on when you have to it does the job. I’m sure there’s others too if you have a google.

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    OMG, oppression and Kiera Knightley make me angry too! And okay I love strawberries, but since technically they are a drupe not a fruit, that means we could still be friends on the most pedantic of levels. Which is actually the only way I’m friends with anyone.

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    You know the unwritten dyke rule of watching any old trash on tv because there’s possibility of lesbian action in it?

    Pretty Little Liars may get me shot for dereliction of duty. It’s very very bad. Premise and characters are fine (and the actress playing Emily is far too cute), but oh, just everything about the production is terrible.

    Maybe if they could kidnap the Gossip Girl writers and try having just sixty seconds without inane pop music soundtrack it could be bearable. I hope they improve it because otherwise I’ll have to admit that I’m too old to still be watching teen dramas.

    Also I can’t be the only one that DOES want to watch a show featuring trashy lesbians? Sack Chaiken, get John Waters in to make Real L Word instead.

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    I will be honest and say that the word “blasphemy” entered my head, too, when I first saw Gaga’s video. THen I thought to myself, give it more of a chance, instead of making such a quick generalization of it from just one viewing.

    Reading a lot of the other interpretations, and seeing them make perfect sense, I decided that what Katy P said was exactly the OPPOSITE of what happened. Gaga is not so simple as to use blasphemy and be done with it. It’s too lazy.

    I think a lot of the video has to do with control-who we have lost it to and who we are trying to gain it back from.

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      That’s what I was thinking too. To jump to the conclusion that Lady Gaga went for blasphemy sells seems to be a bit hasty especially considering how unclear the video is in what it’s saying. The I kissed a girl video on the other hand….can anyone say hypocrite?

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