Results for: you need help
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You Need Help: You Should Divorce Your Transphobic Wife
Your wife fell in love with you and built a life with you and you’re a woman. You didn’t become a woman. You didn’t trick her into being queer — her own feelings did that.
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You Need Help: What If You Never Want To Move In Together?
“I asked her if there’s a world in which we always live separately but still spend most nights together, and she didn’t say no but she also said she was having a hard time imagining it.”
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You Need Help: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Have Sex
To me, both of these things are true: 1. People’s sex drives can change for any number of reasons, at any time and 2. If sex is important to you, that’s valid, too!
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You Need Help: I Live With My Partner and Their Ex-Girlfriend and It’s Getting Hard
“I’m a lesbian in my early twenties and I have been in a relationship with my enby partner for a year and a half. We share a flat with several other (queer) people in Copenhagen, one of whom is my partner’s ex-girlfriend.”
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You Need Help: How Do I Make Myself Like My Girlfriend’s Cat?
You already did things right by talking about this before moving in together. Now it’s time to talk some more.
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You Need Help: How Can I Make Long Distance More Bearable?
Long distance will always be challenging; here are the ways you can strengthen the way you navigate those challenges.
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You Need Help: You Fat-Shamed Your Beautiful Girlfriend
If your girlfriend wrote into this column with this story, I would tell her she should break up with you.
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You Need Help: I Moved Closer to My Girlfriend but She’s Too Busy for Me
The person who moved shouldn’t be the only person experiencing change.
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You Need Help: What To Do With This Meaningless, Single Life?
I want to try to hold space here for both: for your (and my, really) pain and for the possibility that you may not feel this way forever.
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You Need Help: Am I Her Best Friend or Am I Being Emotionally Manipulated?
It’s possible your needs and views when it comes to intimacy are incompatible.
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You Need Help: I Think My Partner Is Emotionally Cheating On Me
The idea that we must save our intimate, intense feelings only for our partners is a deeply heteronormative one, and I don’t want us to adhere to it.
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You Need Help: Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex, but There’s Something Deeper Here
You are telling me one thing, which is that your wife and you communicate well and she cares for you, and then I am seeing something different, which is that your needs are continuously deprioritized in the relationship, and that seems to be how things play out when it comes to your wife’s actions.
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You Need Help: My Partner Keeps Saying We’re Going to Break Up!
The fact that you feel affected by what your partner tells you, even when they’re not their best self, is not inappropriate or bad. It’s human.
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You Need Help: How Do I Stop Bringing Baggage From My Last Relationship Into My New One?
This is where it gets really scary: Growing together requires communication.Â
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You Need Help: My Partner and I Disagree About Our COVID Risk Reduction Practices
Sometimes, after dealing with an active crisis as a team, it’s the period afterward that can start to pull us apart. There’s more time and space for your individual needs and feelings; it’s not surprising that this is when the resentment can really start to build!
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You Need Help: My Partner and I Aren’t Having Sex — How Can I Still Foster Intimacy?
Sometimes in long-term relationships, our needs shift and/or our capacity to fulfill someone’s needs shift.
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You Need Help: I Want to Work on Myself, How Do I Do That?
I have behaviors I notice that spill into my relationship that stem from personal issues. I want to be a better person to myself, and my partner. I want to feel like my cup is full as I am, and then be able to use that to help fill our cup.
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You Need Help: My Trauma is Activated When My Partner Masturbates to Porn
Your feelings are deeply understandable, even though your partner isn’t doing anything wrong. If you haven’t already, it’s time to seek trauma therapy.
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You Need Help: How Do I Know if I’m Really Attracted to My Partner?
Humans can sometimes be unreliable narrators of our own lives.
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You Need Help: I Feel Like I’m My Girlfriend’s Second Choice
I want you to start 2023 feeling like your own number-one pick. That way, when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready and confident to be her number-one pick, too.