Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me About the Video for Beyoncé’s “Kitty Kat”

I am, of course, familiar with the song “Kitty Kat.” It was released in 2006 with the rest of B’Dayand is okay, but really at that point in the album you’re just sort of waiting for “Upgrade U.” At least that was what I thought until I saw the video about six minutes ago.

How could I possibly have been prepared for any of this?

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Hello it is me, sexy jungle cat Beyoncé. I will dance and then store your body in a tree to eat later


I will make you mine

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This cat is four seconds away from pouncing on and then eating me and then coughing me back up on top of your pillow

I hope you weren't planning to crochet a cute infinity scarf out of this

I hope you weren’t planning to crochet a cute infinity scarf out of this

I will ride you over the Pyrenees to conquer Italy

I will ride you over the Pyrenees to conquer Italy

Which is the greater fashion idol, sexy jungle cat Beyoncé or her enormous cat ally? Is the cat’s collar actually a chunky belt? If this video were longer than 57 seconds, would I actually physically die? I have a lot of questions.

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Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. Because a song about Beyoncé taking her pussy away is just so so sad, it’s hard to dance to.

  2. Now I am just reminiscing about when B’Day was my party prep soundtrack. Freakum Dress, Greenlight, and Get Me Bodied were the best.

    Though I think some gifs from the Kitty Kat video should be in the Lesbian Sex gif thread.

  3. I will ride you over the Pyrenees to conquer Italy

    1. The Pyrenees are kind of far from Italy. Unless Beyoncé did not want to overface her feline charger with the thought of the Alps.

    2. I could have forgiven this geography oversight if you’d have spelt them “Purr-enees”

  4. And then I spent 50 minutes watching more suggested Beyonce videos. Her surprising a school doing the “Move Your Body” routine BROUGHT TEARS TO MY WINTER DRY EYES

  5. Woah, okay, I’ve just emerged from the depths of youtube after watching half a dozen Beyonce videos. Dangerous. Now that I’ve caught my breath again: I’m a little upset she didn’t incorporate any of this fabulous feline footage into the Grown Woman video (the greatest Beyonce video to date; I’ve no interest in counterarguments).

  6. Oh man, this is the one thing in the world that could pose an exception to my generally firm and universal “AUGGHH UGGGH DON’T CALLLL IT THAT” policy.

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