What is the Gender of Beyoncé’s Unborn Child: The Flowchart

Lily’s Team Pick:

When I was ten years old, my friend took me to a Christina Aguilera concert (this was the Genie in a Bottle years so I’m feeling pretty old right now). Opening for Christina was a little known four-person girl group called Destiny’s Child. That’s right. I saw the original Destiny’s Child in concert–I’ll give you some time to deal with your extreme jealousy.

Anywho, what I did not realize at the time was that I was in the presence of royalty. I feel like it is pretty much agreed upon by all people that Beyoncé is our Queen. The 60 year old woman who sat next to me on my flight back to school last week agrees with me so it must be true. Our glorious Queen is now having a baby which is basically the best news the world has received all year. I wouldn’t be surprised if that baby comes out glowing. If Bey-Be grows up and tells everyone that it is the second coming I will undoubtedly believe it, become one of its disciples, and help it write “The Biblé: Part II”.

Although I firmly believe Beyoncé’s child probably won’t follow the gender binary and will instead use the preferred gender pronoun of “Diva”, the fantastic people at good.is have created a flowchart that asks “Is Beyoncé Having a Boy or Girl?” It is wonderful.

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Lily has written 33 articles for us.

18 Comments

  1. 🙂 Well now, this just distracted me from staring out the window up at the currently gloomy as hell NYC sky.

    Good morning motivation all over the place in here. I agree with everything Lily says actually. I also had to miss that Christina tour because I was grounded and I’d rather not talk about the feelings I still have as a result of missing out on that.

    Anyways, this is awesome!

  2. maybe it’s because I’m not a native english speaker but if there were 4 of them shouldn’t it have been Destiny’s Children?
    Also Also Also I fucking LOVE “Independent Women”. I have been known to drunkenly scream the “I depend on me” part while pounding on my chest.
    The house I live in, I’ve bought it
    The car I’m driving, I’ve bought it
    I depend on me, I depend on me
    All the women who are independent
    Throw your hands up at me

  3. My friends and I already celebrate Beyonce’s birthday like it’s a holiday (we call it B DAY. Yes, all caps), so when her baby is born I don’t really know what this will mean for us/my life. Maybe we can call it “BAYBÉ DAY” and get just as drunk and make an inspiration board for a House of Deréon line of toddler clothes.

  4. It basically involves listening to nothing but Beyonce all day and getting drunk (at work?) and yelling “HOUSE OF DEREON!! BEYONCE REALNESS!!!” Optional, but highly encouraged festive attire includes denim hot pants.

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