Hello, trolley people!
Yesterday I received a PR email about some “branded content,” a “short film by Paolo Sorrentino” starring Anne Hathaway and Zendaya. It’s from Bulgari, which, frankly, I thought was an imaginary kind of necklaces that rich heist-doing ladies wear in movies, like the Acme brand dynamite Wile E. Coyote is always blowing himself up with. But no! It is real jewels! “Marvelous” jewels, according to Bulgari’s website. Jewels that “cost more than my annual salary,” according to Autostraddle femme bi icon, KaeLyn Rich.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter. The point is that this is not “branded content” — it is very clearly the trailer for The Princess Diaries 3 feat. Zendaya. The plot of which is: Mia Thermopolis falls in love with Princess Zendaya who is visiting Genovia on some kind of diplomatic business, and they spend the summer wearing marvelous jewels and eating Genovian pears and staring at each other and holding hands and generally being rich and fancy lesbians. It is, as they say repeatedly, “unexpected.” Something between a waltz and a tango. A bisexual wango.