VIDEO: If You Love Women So Much, How Come You Don’t Dress Like One?

I don’t get this question, I get the inverse — “if you don’t like men, why do you date women who dress like men”? I don’t recall “dislikes clothing stored in the ‘men’s section’ of mainstream retail outlets” being a requirement to earn my Queer Lady Badge, but whatever, people are idiots. Thus I thoroughly enjoyed YouTube user hartbeat’s response to the question she gets all the time: “If you love women so much, how come you don’t you dress like one?”

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

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77 Comments

    • Word. I sort of love what…who was it, Chris Rock? had to say about that whole weird stereotype about “black people love watermelon!” Just, like, OF COURSE THEY DO, LOTS OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE DO, IT’S FUCKING DELICIOUS.

    • Totally agree about the WOC/Watermelon thing and I also was surprised of her choice of “outfit” …meaning a bikini is traditionally feminine and I know my butch partner would never – in one million years – don that watermelon bra. So cool that she did – kudos.

  1. I just got home at 4am UK time, still completely sober, and came on to AS… to find this. Best part of my day. (And I spent the day on the beach in the sun, which is rare in England, so that’s saying something.)

  2. Wow she’s a very big girl! Which is good like! She must have a lot of confidence to do that. I weight like 110 and not a hope could you catch me in a bikini!
    Hopefully she doesn’t care about the haters who say she’s too big!
    :D

  3. What Ami is saying is that we can’t conflate “regular” with “skinny”, because saying that being fat or obese or overweight or big is not equal to being called “regular” is a reflection of the broken social system we live in where people’s bodies are policed and evaluated.

    And yeah, it is a funny video, but Hart is making a specific point with this funny video that people are too quick to police how others look or should look, so I think it’s totally valid to talk about body issues and expectations because it is perfectly within the context of this video.

  4. So so great. LOVE the transition from eating watermelon in silence to the music and dancing and watermelon bikini AHHHHH :D

    Now an amazing response to the question “if you don’t like men, why do you date women who dress like men?” is needed!

  5. I’ve never gotten that question, only the reverse “If you like girls, why do you date people who dress like boys?” which is only half-true in terms of my dating history (of dating butches v. femmes) but whatever.
    But can we just acknowledge that two of the most amazing queers on Youtube are named Hart? Coincidence?
    DESTINY?

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