Welcome back to Uncommon Pairings, a series all about wine! Check out some previous articles if you’re curious about what wine labels mean, if “natural” wine is really natural, or what chips go best with a canned sparkling wine.
Like many queer people, I love asking what someone’s big three are almost immediately after meeting them. In case there was any doubt, I’m a Sag/Libra/Aries (chaotic gay fancy adventures are very much up my alley!). I thought it might be fun to pick out a wine for each sign, based on what I know of the signs (not much) and what I know of the wines (definitely more than the signs).
Remember to check out your moon and rising if you’re not sold on your sun sign’s wine!
If you’re craving some big, fiery Aries energy, consider a Chilean Cab Sauv! Chile’s a powerhouse when it comes to wine production, and because one in three wines made in the country is a Cabernet Sauvignon, finding one shouldn’t be too hard. A Cab Sauv is an even match for an Aries’ temperament — juicy and bold at the outset, mellowing out soon after.
I’m so jealous of Tauruses! I associate the sign with sensual, earthly pleasures: grass between the toes, sticky ice cream hands, being fed grapes at the beach… I guess this whole list is very summer-coded but that’s because summer is full of pleasure! A Muscadet is the perfect pairing for a Taurus. It’s high acid, green (we need some earth energy), and perfect with seafood in case you wanted to slurp an oyster or two.
Geminis get so much hate, but I will depart from tradition here and not contribute to that narrative (this time). Geminis, at their best, are adaptable, playful, and great in group settings — like sparkling wines! Good for almost anything, great for gossip. Try a Sekt if you haven’t yet!
I had a tough time picking a wine for Cancers, but ultimately landed on a Viognier. Cancers are emotional, for sure, but they also have these tough exteriors to protect their gentle crab bodies. Viogniers have these intense aromas but are creamy and lush in the mouth and I think that’s very crab!
Leos are divas, but they’re also so fucking fun. I think it’s only fitting to give them Beaujolais Nouveau! It’s a light, easy-to-drink red wine that is released yearly on Beaujolais Nouveau Day (the third Thursday in November), and accompanied by a huge celebration. A playful spotlight wine feels very Leo!
Virgos are a practical bunch, and I think the most practical option in the wine world is actually a non-alcoholic wine. You get all the fun palate pieces of wine, but none of the hangover. Because Virgos have high standards, I wanted to pick a good nonalcoholic wine here. I’m thinking the Eins Zwei Zero (also comes in cans, and they have a rosé too!).
Libras have excellent taste, and are great at finding harmony. A Provence rosé, without a doubt. The platonic ideal of rosé IMO — a pale pink in the glass, dry and mineral driven. They’re crowd-pleasers, and very up the Libra alley.
Scorpios are so sexy and mysterious! I get very witchy vibes from them, and for some reason also think of the stars? Aglianico is my preferred pairing here: full-bodied, leathery, sultry. Would go great with lingerie and a candlelit tarot reading, and can definitely follow you into the bedroom.
Given the Sagittarius desire for change and exploring new frontiers, I think it’s only fair to give this sign either a co-ferment or a wine-beer hybrid. The former is a pre-fermentation blend, an old-school technique seeing a resurgence, while the latter could be a wine made with hops or a beer made with grapes!
The world would be far worse without Capricorns! Without them, we’d never get anywhere on time, nor would we update our devices. Never shying away from the hard conversations, Capricorns feel like Nebbiolos to me: high acid and big tannins to put us in our place.
When I think of Aquarius, I think of community, which immediately takes me to wine cooperatives. There are some great wines that come out of wine cooperatives, and I think Aquariuses would love them!
Pisces are creative and dreamy, and feel very ethereal! I wanted a wine that felt plucked from the faerie realm and ultimately was torn between two: Sauvignon Blanc and Verdejo. TBH, I refuse to believe that there was no magic involved in Sauv Blanc’s creation.