This was a big year for imaginary lesbians! I’m working on a piece about my Lesbian Executive Opinion of 2011’s Lesbians on Television and I’m sure you’re on the edge of your seat waiting for that to debut.
But in the meantime, I constructed this list! So what I did was I asked you for your favorites (on tumblr/twitter), tallied those, mixed in a generous scoop of my own personal opinion (which is that if you’d already seen Pariah, you would’ve voted for Alike), added two cups of sugar and a teaspoon of vanilla and a pound of cream of tartar, and this is what came out:
[Sidenote – Per usual, if you want to share your feelings of utter outrage and disappointment in us for not selecting or accurately ranking your personal favorite for this list, do so with as much punctuation and hyperbole as possible]
10. Brittany S. Pierce, Glee
“Honey, if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.”
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9. Kalinda Sharma, The Good Wife
“You and I have nothing in common. ‘Cause you and I are from different worlds. And it’s not just Mars and Venus. It’s spaghetti and hydrogen. We’re just different categories. I’m knowable, but just not to you.”
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8. Fiona, Degrassi: The Next Generation
“Don’t worry, I’ll get over you, you’re not that awesome.”
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7. Kate Kane/Batwoman, Batwoman #4
“I’m a goddamn soldier.”
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5. Franky Fitzgerald, Skins
“I tried today and now I feel kind of less like me, and I’m not exactly over the moon about being me in the first place, but now I think I kinda like it less when I’m trying NOT to be me. Because I just wanna like, be.”
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4. Emily Fields, Pretty Little Liars
“We swim on the same team.”
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3. Lisbeth Salander, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
“Everyone has secrets.”
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2. Alike, Pariah: The Movie
“Breaking is opening, and I am broken. I am open.”
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1. Santana Lopez, Glee
“The only straight I am is straight-up bitch.”
Despite Ryan Murphy’s best efforts, nothing can kill your burning hot love for Santana Fucking Lopez. Let’s do that in video:
Preach.
GREY’S ANATOMY WHERE ARE YOU?!
Having sex in the on-call room, probs.
Sara Ramirez Yes please!
absolutely. she’s very hot.
Agreed, Sara Ramirez’s character Calliope Torres on the show Grey’s Anatomy can be a honorable mention. If it was the year 2009 she’d be the top of my list. Check out Season 6 Episode 5 (http://youtu.be/8tua5VlGjhs). For Sara Ramirez I’d put on the this list for Episode 5 of Season 8 (http://youtu.be/x0fLzsSUqkM). Coming out to your dead ex-husband’s super catholic mom takes a lot of guts! Especially since Callie tells her the truth about being married Arizona, and having a baby with Mark after sleeping with him (she didn’t mention the sex part) and the car crash she had with Arizona that she nearly dying. Not your average conversation over coffee. Santana definitely deserves her spot as #1. Her coming out moment with her grandmother could not be more realistic and relatable for any LGBT that have come out. Naya Rivera did an awesome job! As for the writers of GLEE I applaud their naturalistic approach with Santana’s character when she came out. As for Pariah, I’ll be seeing the movie real soon. It’s great to see she made a place on this list. Awesome list for fictional lesbians of 2011 :D
They are time travelling to Tierra de Lobos, to help nurse Isabel back to health.
Callie, Arizona, Isabel and Cristina should be here. It would be great to have more grown-ups on this list that is 80% high school kids.
Perfect list is perfect.
I love this list!
*shudders* too much talk of finn nipples in the santana vid
i watched all nine minutes and fifty-four seconds of that video…and then replayed it. no regrets.
i don’t even watch glee but i watched that video and enjoyed it.
This.
I could watch or listen to Santana do anything. Anything at all. Does this make me a perv? Maybe. I don’t care.
Reasons I love Santana:
1)She’s hot.
2)She’s hilarious.
3)She can SING.
4)She’s a bitch and owns it.
5)She’s hot.
6)She’s a lesbian.
7)She rocks the high pony.
8)She loves Brittany.
9)She’s a hot lesbian.
10)She’s always in that Cheerios uniform.
Amen!
Not to be that guy, but there’s no Number 6. But the rest of the list is amazeballs.
I was supposed to get 10 fictional lesbians for Christmas but I only got nine FML #worstChristmasever
i am far too busy and important to learn how to count
I know you don’t have time to count to 20, but that’s how many seconds I stopped breathing when I looked at your photo of Kalinda. Fictional or not, she is simply stunning! Really, who does leather better than Kalinda? A Classic beauty, remember what that means kiddos? Alluring confidence. Perfect choice…and by the way, thanks for my new desktop background.
No, see, it’s like a choose your own adventure! YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR OWN NUMBER 6
All I wanted for Christmas was Santana. Instead I just got 419 cars and a robot made out of iPhones. FML.
No. But. She’s so horrible.
And I love her so much.
NOOMI RAPACE, BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Helen Magnus! Sanctuary! <– missing!
I kinda gave up on that show when they made Nikola Tesla a sexy, charming vampire, but if Magnus is queer I suppose I should give it a second chance.
You should watch season four’s “Monsoon”. I pretty much decided that I was spoiled for any other TV show right then and there. :)
How is Nikola Tesla being a magnificent bastard a bad thing?
oh, you mean him being a vampire? Huh, well, yeah that’s not so great. but, hollow earth! and john the ripper! and watson! and MAGNUS!!!!! HELEN MAGNUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Magnus is the sole reason I watch that show now.
Amanda Tapping is the sole reason I haven’t given up on TV in general yet. :p
Mmmm….sexy Amanda Tapping…. *drool*
Santana Santana Santana YES. And that moment in the picture is divinity. Candy and divinity and chocolate and cupcakes and rainbows and puppies and kittens.
I’m just gonna stare at the pic of Noomi Rapace for a while
I tried, but I just can’t get behind The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I view the books and the films based on the material to be too highly misogynistic. I don’t support a character from such fiction regardless of her sexuality.
misogynistic how?
Lisbeth Salander, at least in the 1st book, is a middle aged man’s wet dream. If Blomqkist comes across as Llarson’s alter-ego, Lisbeth is the object of this late middle-aged man’s fantasy. She is labeled by many readers as bisexual but that bisexuality seems of the Penthouse forum variety. She is described in the first book as a person who can only be fulfilled sexually by men. Sex with women is just passing time which is meant to tie into her rejection of intimacy with men. Blomqkist’s kicking out the woman that Lisbeth has slept with the night before is an act laced with symbolism. Having sex designed to detach from intimacy, she is confronted by a male she will end up being intimate with – a man both tough and sensitive, willing to treat her as an equal. The exit of Wu becomes the entrance of a real man (aka Llarson) and real intimacy.
The book itself seems overly focused on cruelty to women. Just as Lars Von Trier has done in films, the cruelty to women seems, under scrutiny, to be more about reveling in violence to women. Long scenes of sexual coercion and anal rape are defended with the reminder that the rapist gets comeuppance. That is not enough to rinse the sense of exploitation away. This has been commonly touched on. Stella’s concerns do not exist in a vacuum. They are a common criticism when discussing the book.
The best thing to happen to Llarson were the later films. At some point, Llarson did a redirect turning it away from his fantasy. This included a calming down of Blomqvist’s stud portrayal and a more nuanced look at Lisbeth as bisexual. While the books still contained violence, both sexual and not sexual, towards women, they no longer lingered over it. Llarson would not be the first author to reexamine the direction he was taking.
I had many of these thoughts after reading the first book. Didn’t get much farther than that as a result.
yup, me too. I never finished the 2nd book after reading the horror that was the 1st chapter.
Kate Kade, Frankie, Lisbeth Salander, and Santana?
SO MANY FEEL1NGS!!!!!!1!!!11!
This list is perfect.
How come the vid didn’t show her kissing Brit?! Goddamnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
despite what the writers and producers would like us to believe, THEY’VE NEVER KISSED ON THE TV
I remember the moment when I was told that fact, and my mind was blown. My brain had actually been filling in makeouts where no makeouts were happening.
Riese is right…
And we wants them to get their mack on.
This is a) the best thing ever, and b) like every piece of Glee I actually care about in one video. XD
mia could be #6!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDZOiGQ1McE
Yes, yes, ohhh yes.
Has someone made videos consisting of only scenes that Santana is in or that mention her yet?
Because the rest of the glee characters stories are becoming really boring to me. =/
I agree with most of this list.
.. mostly because Santana and all her fiiiineeeee parts are number one.
BUT.
There is this little show called Greys Anatomy and the only reason I watch it is because of Arizona and Callie and all their hotness. They should be your missing number 6.. moved down to 2. Just sayiinggg.
I put down The Girl Who Played With Fire to read this article, and lo and behold Lisbeth Salander is glaring at me RIGHT THIS SECOND. It’s love you guys. Also a little scary.
I guess we retired Xena
FRANKY FROM SKINS. MY HEART. OH DAKOTA BLUE RICHARDS, WHAT DO YOU DO TO ME.
Also I have no clue about any of the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo malarky but daaaaang that actress is hot.
That video is the highlight of my day. And I had a pretty awesome day.
THIS VIDEO FOREVER. I totally forgot about the razor blades in my hair line. Santana is perfection.
Anyone But Me’s Nicole Pacent!
Gah, the things I would do to her.
But props for having Santana as numero uno.
Does anyone else remember her when she was on Family Matters?
nooo. do you have a link?? i have to see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJxjT1TFlOw
She was in a couple of episodes. She was also in a few other 90s shows (I think Fresh Prince and Smart Guy?).
Aww, I remember that!
“Roses are Red, some socks are black. Won’t you be my daddy-mack?”
#childhoodmemories
there’s no #6 cuz that spot is reserved for Callie Torres
santana fucking lopez is my fictional fucking girlfriend.
but seriously, where’s callie and arizona?
I feel like my love for Santana is closely tied to my love for Naya. Like, Santana is awesome but she wouldn’t be half as awesome if Naya was not playing her. Maybe that’s a given but I just felt it needed to be said. Naya Forever.
So I’m staring at the picture of Santana, and I think I can see the appeal (certainly after the sass reel)… but are those eyelashes really necessary?! /petpeeve
But yes, I approve of this list overall.
The eyelashes always bug me too but to be fair it seems to be a thing with some women, not specific to Santana. I guess it’s supposed to draw attention to their eyes but to me it just obscures them.
It impacts my complete attraction to Santana in exactly zero ways.
And…plus,plus,plus to Ava for mentioning that Santana is awesome because of Naya Fucking Rivera.
No Isabel Lobo? Is this sight located on a another planet or something? Unfuckenbelievable!!!
I don’t agree with the entire list but I do agree with Santana and that video is the best thing ever.
Dear Ryan Murphy,
PLEASE give Santana this line! This was the best 12 seconds of my day!!!
http://youtu.be/E8Far7j81-8
I know the show airs in Spain and isn’t in English, but Autostraddle needs to show Tierra de Lobos some love. I have never seen a hotter couple than Isabel & Cristina (Crisabel as fans call them) or a more swoonworthy lezzie lady than Isabel. You can watch it all online with English subtitles. I know Telecinco pulled some of it down. This is the Crisabel story, basically: http://www.dailymotion.com/user/ugetwhatugive28/1 I can find a link that has more of season one, which was about Isabel figuring out she’s different and a lesbian and pre-Crisabel. Whole show is worth watching.
Even though I would’ve added Arizona and/or Callie to the list, I more or less agree. Ha and yes, I still love Santana, despite the work of the writers who seem to want nothing more than for me to despise not only her but their entire show. (Why, Glee? Why do you do this to us?) I’m glad Brittany made the list. So many people, including the writers of her own show, seem to forget that she’s bisexual and loves girls, too.
If only there was a way to keep Tara MaClays legacy alive *pouts* but then again props to Santanna
if both brittany and santana are there, then missing #6= Mini from skins?
yes.i think so.
Is this site getting itself confused with afterellen? What’s the point in mentioning bi women in this list or in general? Isn’t this about girl on girl culture, not girl on girl part time culture? Let’s not forget about the core audience here.
I think you’re being more than a little offensive here. Could you try making your point without inferring that bisexual women are “part-time” lesbians?
Autostradle, i feel, has always been inclusive and has little interest in favouring the ‘core audience’ over any other member of the LGBTQ community.
if you have a point to make, make it, but don’t act like because you’re in the majority here, you’re more entitled. That’s the kind of behaviour we should be countering.
Hi Kora. I C&P’d this from the “About” (mission statement?)section of Autostraddle: “Autostraddle is an intelligent, hilarious & provocative voice and a progressively feminist online community for a new generation of kickass lesbian, bisexual & otherwise inclined ladies (and their friends).”
Just saying…
Thank you for saying what I would have said if my bisexual knickers weren’t in a twist, causing serious rage.
I’m not sure if it’s just a matter of trying to appeal to a greater audience. I guess you have to work that angle to be more successful, but I wish there were entertaining and smart places on the internet that solely focused on lesbian material. Bisexuals can participate in straight sites as well as gay ones, so it seems we get cheated when we are forced to skim through bi (ie straight) related stuff, on a site we come to for gay stuff.
no one is forcing you.
You’re the one with the problem here, so perhaps you should either be more open minded and accepting or you should leave. Not the bisexual readership who have every right represented, the same as lesbian/transgender/queer/all of the above readers.
i really don’t think you know where you are. everybody’s supposed to love each other here. AM I RIGHT???
“the only kind of straight I am, is straight up bitch” hahah
What about Cosima?