“The L Word” Season Five Autostraddle RECAP Trailer/Teaser & “Luck be a Lady” Parody

You know how some people, like musician/actress Leisha Hailey and photographer/actress Jennifer Beals, have many talents? I’m one of those people. In addition to my superior writing skills, I’m handy with a vodka bottle, handy w/my own two hands and handy being handsy. Furthermore, I’ve got a knack for guetsbianisim, lesbianism and celesbianism. But most importantly, I’ve got the mistaken impression that I know how to edit videos and use iMovie. iMovie, p.s., is bunk, I hate it, it breaks every ten seconds, just like Alice’s heart, Jenny’s psychosis and Shane’s hymen.

No, but seriously. JK, I’m never serious. We’re so excited about trashing the inevitably unbearable fifth season of “The L Word,” we’ve already filmed about four years worth of footage for our upcoming VLOGS, which we’ll be creating to accompany my wildly popular written recaps. By “wildly popular” I mean slightly more popular than Haviland was in middle school. Let this be a lesson to you: the meek shall inherit the earth.

So, today I’ve thrown together a little “trailer” for y’all to enjoy AND Carly’s put together our parody of the best scene of Season Four, the phone convo, AND seriously the best thing to ever happen to web-television is Carly’s blooper reel of that scene, which is also below. I will be turning all our footage — there’s tons more– into butterflies/vlogs over the next five weeks as we all wait for the new season to start. We did a few scenes, like the Mark/Jenny/Shane bobbing-for-apples scene and the Helena/Bette/Tina S2-finale scene, but there’s so much more than you see here, just like how there’s more to my personality than you see here. Carly and I also subjected Haviland to all three of the L Word Trailers we’ve already seen several times and possibly memorized (and totally recapped). Like; I’m smart, I swear. I have another blog, I quote poetry.

Speaking of multiple talents, I’ve got a big meeting on Friday to discuss the hot boyshorts we’re designing for your purchasing pleasure, and boy, am I excited, I can’t hardly wait. Seriously, I can’t, it’s ridiculous/adorable. Enough about boys, let’s watch a movie.

So, why’d I talk about multiple talents? ‘Cause Carlytron‘s also multitalented but her main talent is film specifically editing & directing, and so she was able to put her go-go-gadget skills to work for our parody of the “Luck be a Lady” scene, where they all talk on the phone about drama. I’m like, Alice, get it? Like: bla bla bla. I LOL’ed until I cried, mostly at Samantha Acosta, who’s really at her finest in the bloopers reel, as you can see. See how Carly did that thing with the three boxes? That’s what friends are for. I just had a revelation about how if you think about it like, resume-wise, the three of us really are a perfect team. I mean, skill-wise. All we need is someone to carry our things, someone with big arms.

So, here we have it, Carlytron for AutoStraddle presents our parody of the ridiculous way that The L Word thinks we live:

AND NOW THE BLOOPERS REEL!

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2656 articles for us.

22 Comments

  1. HOT HOT HOT
    Grrls – January 6 is the COMMENCEMENT –

    anonymous: diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

    also, word verif: tyeefyck, lozo would go wild with that one…

  2. this stuff is comedy gold. and by gold i mean like, golder than haviland’s gold pants gold. which you know is like, SERIOUSLY GOLD.

    my word verif is uhlor, which is kind of like HOLLA but in a pakistani accent.

  3. Ummmm amazing? I don’t even know what else to say about that… The costumes, the characters, all too much for me. Mother, mother obvs made me srsly lol..

    Carly love the haircut!

  4. Also I wanted to say that your hair has most definitely grown, apparently DC has crazy water, and lastly if Ilene Chaiken learns nothing else from you at all, I hope she learns the art of the blooper. That’s all, for real this time.

  5. OMG an “L Word” blooper reel would be real comedy gold, I feel like Alice is probs funny. I mean, I love my L’Elements of Style DVD extras, but come on, Ilene. Haha. haaa.

  6. i always come for the LOLs…and you always leave me satisfied and smiling (thats what she said).

    these vlogs are just so fab! i was having such a sucky week f’reals and this made me smile with such glee!

  7. Oh yeah, we totally made Haviland watch that trailer, obvs, she really enjoyed it. We were like “OMG this is gonna be amazing!!” and we freaked out when Bette pushed that girl’s hands away, that’s when carly and I are like ‘OMG!!!’ at the beginning. we hadn’t seen it before, we didn’t know it existed, it was the greatest moment of our lives. anyone who comments on the OurChart post of the trailer to link here is an automatic winner.

    We totally are embracing the cleavage, the crazy, and the LOLs … holla

  8. Riese, you should start a post where people can comment with suggestions as to what they would like to see in future vlogs.

    Ya know, cause we care about what people wanna see. Unlike SOME PEOPLE *cough* Ilene *cough* …

    P.S. Word ver: mpakau, I think it’s a new Sanrio character?

    P.P.S. Thanks Cait!

  9. “nobody comes to new jersey for anything”

    hey now, what’s the big idea? why we are we always hatin on the drty jerz?

    beteedubs – i will b at the opening of the show can’t wait!!!

    (opening of the show=premier party)

    —-

    Lmao on the sheer genius of this vlogging adventures! looking forward 2 more! brilliant!

    —-

    “We totally are embracing the cleavage, the crazy, and the LOLs … holla”

    srsly, i must start up a cafe press page for all these funny sayings(imagine that phrase on mugs, thongs, and doggy clothes)…or like shameless copy them into my daily vocab.

    whichevers on the cheaps.

  10. re: NJ … I live in NJ and was asking, in that clip, if they would come to pick me up. I think I left the context of that out of the clip, and I apologize to you and to everyone and most importantly to NJ for that. We all love NJ!!

  11. I love New Jersey, it’s my favorite state. I’ve enjoyed many intimate moments with girls from new Jersey, though I suppose most full or partial NYC lesbians could say the same thing. Nevertheless, I find it to be a ripe source of humor and easy jokes, like Lozo, who coincidentally lives in New Jersey.

    I’m excited about Wallace Shawn, being Atherton’s new television, people giving us suggestions so we can listen unlike someone who may or may not have created Showtime’s hit series The L Word, and, per always, the dirty jerz. Though Carly clarified, it was in response to something. It’s true, we’d never go to new Jersey to pick her up, hello bridge and tunnel.

  12. Hahaha
    I can’t talk right now, there’s too much drama.’

    Daaaarrralings!
    Hello Riese, thank you for your comment babe. 😉
    Wonderful vlog and from now on I AM a big fan of you all.
    Please send me an update from whenever there’s a new vlog.

    Love you,
    kisses and lickies,

    FeroMoon

  13. Hey! Just saw your videos on Edilma’s blog! Very funny. Apparently I’m out of the loop, but looking forward to seeing more of your vids when the new season of L starts.

    So, figured I’d say hi especially being that we’re apparently neighbors and all. (NYC/NJ).

    okay, bye!
    – Kai

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