The 24 Gayest Things in the New Miley Cyrus Video, “We Can’t Stop”

If you follow Miley Cyrus on Twitter or have been on the internet today, you know that her video for “We Can’t Stop” is out. Everyone wants to talk about the song’s drug references and her need to twerk and her plethora of black friends (that’s probs just me) but I just want to talk about how gay this video is. Yes, it might be weirder than it is gay but there’s actually nothing gayer than being weird. Sure, a guy eats a hundred dollar bill sandwich. Yes, there is a skull made of fries. But most importantly, Miley Cyrus is one frame away from fingerbanging a chick for the majority of this video and it’s hilarious. Does she know we can see her? I feel like she doesn’t know we can.

The 24 Gayest Moments from “We Can’t Stop”

1. Miley made out with someone that looks like her

dollmakeout
2. She wrestled with someone out of sheer sexual frustration

wrestlegayly
3. Miley made vuvla fingers

vaginafingers
4. Other women slapped her ass

Mileytwerk
5. She slapped other women’s asses

Mileygrabsass
6. There was a vegan dish

soup
7. Miley showed off some serious tongue dexterity

mileytongue3
8. This haircut forever and ever Amen

mileyhaircut
9. Miley grabbed someone’s boob while they enjoyed a beautiful ass sunset

BOOB
10. Miley rode on this girl’s back while wet

poolcuddles
11. This look

grinding
12. Being “about that life” in general is very gay

datlife
13. Something shot out of a woman’s crotch

smokecrotch
14. Miley wore a sports bra

sportsbra
15. Miley did a sporty thing

sports
16. Miley was way too into her pets

animal
17. A girl literally came out of a bush

bush
18. Things were flaming/on fire, much like Miley herself

flaming
19. Girls grinded (ground?) with each other

mileybuttongirl
20. This very large pair of scissors

scissors
21. This cat shirt

catshirt
22. Pasties

pasties
23. Miley really wanted you to know how impressive her tongue is

mileytongue2
24. No, for real. Look at her goddamn tongue.

mileytongue1

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Brittani

Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 328 articles for us.

128 Comments

  2. I’ve been telling everyone that this is Miley’s coming out song and now that the video is out I have even more proof of just how fucking gay she is.

    • This video is the most lesbionic thing that has ever happened. The only way this video could get any more dykey is if Tegan and Sara rode in on unicorns at the end for a ukulele solo.

  4. Well, I am all about that ultra-camp/high-kitsch life, so this video is very possibly my new absolute favorite thing ever.

    It’s also possible I just like the video because it’s maybe the gayest thing I have recently seen on the internet.

  5. Ah, ah, ah. I’m really uncomfortable with Miley continually being on this site. She’s not queer identified. She has never been queer identified. She has a short “countercultural” haircut… pero nada más. She unashamedly appropriates black culture (twerking), and reaps the benefits from doing so with no repercussions: and that’s the only problematic things she’s done in the past week. For a site that celebrates queerness, I just can never understand why she is continually on here.

    • Yeah, the whole obsession with black culture is making me feel a little queasy, and I’m starting to wonder if she is consciously capitalizing on queer culture as well. Meanwhile anytime a queer black lady starts getting big in music, the negativity comes flooding in. I know Azealia is doing big things in fashion, but I don’t see her music getting anywhere near as big as Miley’s, which is unfortunate.

      I still have love for Miley (if I stopped liking every racist/sexist/whatever-ist celebrity i’d have no more faves) but I don’t think we should be praising this video so unconditionally.

      • Azealia unfortunately stuck her foot in her mouth several times and is the reason for her own downfall. Everyone was on 212 the minute it came out and she became the new indie darling, even as a queer black woman. It’s too bad she let the attention get to her. I hope for new things from her. Her talent should be forefront the next time around.

    • The appropriation of black culture is definitely problematic; but as for her not being queer: if we, as a queer culture, are appreciating her (which the author of this article, and many of the repliers seem to) then she’s totally allowed to be on here, especially in the context of a pretty funny article about the video.

      I agree entirely with the appropriation of black culture though. Problematic, for sure.

    • THIS. I rarely comment but afer reading this article, I’m absolutely baffled as to why there’s this obsession with Miley Cyrus (on this website or anywhere actually). The song’s awful, the clip’s awful. The whole thing come off as trying too hard to appear “edgy”: omg she’s making out with a doll! edgy! omg she’s slapping girls’s butts! edgy! Pathetic. She’s obviously not gay but is using this to, once again, appear “cool”. And clearly this is working. Sigh.

    • These are my feels, and maybe no one agrees but I must say this because I’m clenching my jaw every time I see it and I’d love to not have lock jaw again this summer.

      Yes this video had moments where it gave me that weird “something’s not right” feeling in my belly. Likewise every time I read a comment about how it’s an appropriation of black culture I get that same feeling. Black culture and HIP HOP CULTURE are NOT the same thing! Hip hop culture may be a subset of black culture but I feel it is extremely reductive to define things that are a part of hip hop culture as purely black culture. I just feel like it’s one of those every square is rhombus but a rhombus isn’t a square issues. Just because some black people identify deeply hip hop culture doesn’t mean we all do. I enjoy the occasional twerking session and I love me some Lil Wayne, but I also know how feels like to feel like you don’t identify with your culture as a whole. I think that referring to hip hop culture as black culture adds to that feeling for a lot of people.

      OK rant’s over. Again just my opinion. If you don’t agree I’d love to discuss it.

      Thanks for posting this Brittani it made me laugh numerous times.

  8. I definitely appreciate the time and energy that went on in making this post, Brittani. Much respect! Just hoping for some discussion.

    • I so agree. The post: very funny. This video: very weird. That cat shirt: very gay. The “way too into her pets” line made me LOL. But Miley: not very queer-identified. When she twerks I feel nauseous. Watching this video causes me to make the same Grumpy Cat NOPE face that I made when I log into FB and am greeted by my lil cousin’s WE R SEWWWW DRUNK AND SEXI pictures on FB.

      • I agree, I have my grumpy cat NOPE face on right now. I just want to urge us all to be more critical and less quick in glorifying this person just because she grabs ass and boobs in a video while having short hair.

      • I appreciate the opportunity to make insider lesbian jokes about something mainstream, and I think there would be some small modicum of “wish fulfillment” for some people if Miley came out, but I do kind of wonder why Miley’s suddenly become elevated to the queer lady pantheon (I know she hasn’t “come out,” but she has spent a lot of time talking about making out with chicks lately, it seems). There are plenty of actually queer celebrities (and WoC, who she’s cribbing a lot from) that we could celebrate. But I know that’s something AS is trying to do, so I’m just going to enjoy this for what it is: a “Hey look at this weird video let’s make humorous gay references” thing that made me laugh in a “things/people can be offensive but I still can enjoy them as long as I’m aware or the problem and don’t silence other people’s criticisms” kind of way.

  10. ok so embarrassing story time: I used to watch the Miley and Mandy show on youtube in between studying. I actually took the time to learn hannah montana choreography with my 8 year old cousin. I have been really hoping she’d join team lez so I can feel less lame.

  11. First thing,

    I love you guys. I have a new vision of this video that can only be seen through Straddle-vision 3000.

    Two,

    I read a good Gay!Miley smutfic a while back. (Shameless rpf smut. It’s a good and rompy read…but people might be at work, so…) Now I’m interested in seeing where those writers would be going with this new Miley. This will have me keep an eye on them.

    And three,
    My first impression was…disappointed. The MV didn’t have enough party vibe and it was much too artsy. This is a slow jam you’d scream out of sheer fun when you’re having a good time and it sounds like an anthem against people who don’t want your fun. The video was cute but…not enough party. If one could swim sexily and dance in gigantic animal hats…that would be awesome.

    But yeah. Those are my thoughts.

    And also; Brittani’s music video came out on the same day that certain places in Vancouver were having a car-free day, so it was kind of awesome!

    • Total accident re: Vancouver. I’m sure it bumped the video 3 views. I’m glad you watched it though. Thanks.

      I have to admit I am slightly disappointed with the song but I will force myself to like it because Miley.

  12. also that pink, dildo-looking speaker right at the start, no?

    HOW DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN

    • I almost said “using a speaker that is clearly not big enough for the party you are having” as a shout out to Klub Deer but changed my mind.

  14. Um, Brittani I think you actually missed a series of ass grabs that occurred in the kitchen….? Although it might be better classified as spanking…? Idk

  16. WE CAN’T STOP… being gay.

    I wish we could claim a skull made out of french fries as being a gay thing *sigh*.

    Also, I feel like this is her best attempt at being Jessie J, but I’m not mad. And I thought her “West Coast” shirt said “Les Coast,” which is the best coast.

  19. Gotta agree with Mellissa: I love gayness in mainstream movies, music, and TV, but I feel significantly uncomfortable with the whole appropriating black urban culture thing… There is a good article about it on Oh No They Didn’t! from June 4th. Also, has anyone noticed that Ke$ha and Miley came out with kind of racist, wacky, artsy videos for almost identical songs very close together? (For those of you who are confused, I am talking about “Crazy Kids.”) Is this white girls wearing grills thing gonna be a trend now? If so, I blame Kreayshawn…

    • God, I hadn’t seen Kesha’s Crazy Kids…Watching these videos back-to-back definitely makes me uncomfortable, going on the “white girls doing racist/wacky/artsy/queer videos” idea. Shock value, basically. Still I want to give her the benefit of the doubt…then again, I don’t know her personally, just another Miley Twitter follower myself. Although the song is awful, if the message is “Be yourself and don’t conform to a set of guidelines made up by other people” then I completely support it for what it is- a silly video, terrible song, but an anthem to set the “what’s cool” of Summer 2013.

  20. Three things:
    Product placement freaking kills this.
    I think she’s trying to be Rihanna, and doing a really, really, really bad job at it.
    I think she forgot she’s the daughter of a country singer and is from a wealthy part of Tennessee, which is about as white as a person can get.

  21. i call BS. this video screams out hetero with cultural appropriation of things qwoc.
    she made out with (if not barely even touched) a doll. not actually a person.
    vulva fingers, slapping each other on the ass, touching boobs… even straight girls be on that shit now bc it’s cute (esp for males standing by.)
    don’t even get me started with the twerking, the AAVE, and “being bout that life” when she aint.

    in conclusion, white privilege.
    i’m done.

    • But you can’t tell white girls, “no!”

      I’ve tried and now I just say, “well you want this too? WELL DO IT RIGHT!!!”

      • The thing is that they want to be in on it, make it into something of their own…
        but then at the same time, criticize and shame black women/woc and all poc for already doing x, y, and z.

        we all know what that leads to.

        • I just wish woc and poc who created this was getting PAID, because I can’t anymore. I see twerking as an institution that boggles my mind and my hips. I’m just there watching on youtube impressed but the likes of Donald Trump wanted to capitalize on “You’re Fired!”

          I’m this close into going into copyright/intellectual property law and give advice on how to do it; think Twerking Inc. or Twerking Incorporated. I feel like it’s the only way I can can see this without the bitter taste while being slightly aroused, it’s unsettling.

          At least Drake got “yolo!”

  23. I have a nagging feeling that Miley is going to realize why she’s so passionate about LGBTQ* rights, put 2 and 2 together, and come out as queer. This video is a little too obvious right now.

    #projectingmuch

  24. 1 – Hannah Montana can twerk if she wants to.

    2 – Thank you, Brittani. This post is the best part of my life right now.

    3 – Miley doesn’t have to be queer for me to enjoy her or add her to my favorite things about being queer just like my substitute biology teacher in high school wasn’t a lesbian and i was still all sorts of “ohmgggggggg” about her.

    4 – She’s just being Miley.

    twerktwerktwerkalternativelifestylehaircuttwerktwerktwerk

    • Yes, yes, yes and yes.

      She can even twerk on me if she wants to.
      Just like she doesn’t have to be queer for me to think she’s hot, she doesn’t have to be black for me to enjoy her moves. Maybe it’s wrong of me to put my black queer feminist hat aside for a minute because I think she’s hot. But I sometimes just wanna get outta that headspace for a minute. I already live it every minute is every day.

      • I DO THAT TOO WHEN I GO TO STRIP CLUBS!

        When I *remember myself* sober and thinking or not thinking at iHop eating some pancakes, I’m like, “I had a good time [strip club]. OMFG the exotic dancer named….(wait for it because I am not shitting you) Rosa Parks*, was baaaaad!”

        *”Rosa Parks”…was from Yugoslavia.

        The more you know on my gay-ass adventures in supporting the local (very) erotic arts.

        • Yeah, I can see how Rosa Parks wouldn’t be much of a dancer. Did she just refuse to get out of her seat the whole time?

  25. I can’t be moved to give a flying fuck about how queer Miley is.

    What I *do* care about is her blatant cultural appropriation of Black culture. Every single thing about this marketing scheme is fake, embarrassing, and fraught with ignorance. Wow, awesome, you can shake your ass just like the black women in your videos (actually, you can’t because you lack an ass)! I think it’s rather interesting how twerking has become the most popular dance of the day among white girls when I remember those very same white girls turning up their noses at Black girls… Calling their dance moves, “Disgusting” and “Ghetto” not even a year ago. Talking about how they “don’t dance like that.” But it’s no longer ghetto when come “edgy” white chick from Tennessee does it? It’s fun to be “ratchet” now, huh? Everyone’s ’bout that life now!

    Y’all can miss me c o m p l e t e l y with this Miley worship.

    • It’s absolutely your prerogative to call her out for appropriating pieces of cultures that aren’t hers (and I happen to also find this video a little squicky for that reason, although my opinion on that isn’t particularly relevant). But I’d like to point out that her ass is located between her legs and her back, and that all shapes and sizes that people come in are valid.

  27. Am I the only one who picked up on the line “We can love who we want to”? #gayyyyyyyyyyy

  28. Maybe she just hasn’t met the right girl yet. Don’t worry, Miley and I will meet someday.

  29. I’m surprised no one brought up her gold acrylic nails doesn’t anyone here read effingdykes? That’s so straight girl its a yeast infection ready to happen.

  33. Previously I didn’t really understand why people found Miley Cyrus attractive (I think I just have an aversion to jailbait). But, then, she got that haircut and started dressing like the antithesis of a Disney star and…………something changed. Now, I’m like “Okay. Yeah. This is working for me.”

    • Really?!? Now it’s working for me too. I thought I was the only one who was (formerly) nauseated by the lingering whiff of the nursery room :D

  34. The ugly 90s flower pattern makes me want to cry. Why did that have to become a trend? :( Miley ain’t my thing but I can appreciate the visuals (minus the twerking which made me cringe a little)

  35. I have a difficult time watching any music video like this and getting past the idea of shock value. But I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it.

  36. i get told i look like miley cyrus every single day, which is annoying to me because I HAD THIS HAIRCUT FIRST, but after watching this music video i don’t feel so bad about the comparisons anymore.

  37. So many people are taking this WAAAAAY to seriously. She’s certainly not. The whole point is that Miley is declaring her independence. She can do whatever she wants, and she is. I f#@$ing applaud that. She never declared any “queerness”. You all should know by now that lesbians claim everything gay, whether or not there’s a reason.

    As far as the appropriation of “black culture” goes, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!! If you’re going to snipe about this, let’s take it back to rock and roll, to Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis and Bill Haley. Those argument are tired, as am I of hearing them. Lighten up. Getting offended about stuff like that just means you’re the only one not having fun.

    • “Getting offended about stuff like that just means you’re the only one not having fun.”

      I will just use this chance to reiterate my creed, “I can realize that something is problematic and STILL enjoy it.” Why do people think that just because something was a little bit (or even a lot bit) offensive, means I absolutely cannot otherwise derive any joy from it? I don’t have to turn off my mind when I flip on my Enjoyment Switch, or vice versa.

      • THIS!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you. Telling people their opinions aren’t valid because they’re “taking things too seriously” is so disrespectful and dismissive (and usually a tactic used by straight, white, rich dudes who are like ‘stop complaining’). I love a lot of problematic things. Acknowledging that they are problematic in no way prevents me or anyone else from enjoying them.

  39. can we talk about how it is a Known Fact that we RAN INTO miley cyrus getting coffee at Dinah Shore 2010?!

    THERE IS A PICTURE

  42. Maybe I should keep reading comments so someone clarifies. What is the problem with white people twerking? What is wrong with hip hop culture? All of these rules of who gets to do what is overwhelming. I don’t understand all of the hate. And I typically like someone because I like them… being gay or not is irrelevant so at least I don’t have that to try to figure out (re: the video).

    • I am also confused by this, although I’m not saying it isn’t problematic. I feel like certain things are clearly inappropriate. For example, literally pretending to be a different race (e.g. Blackface, Redface, etc.). This has such a horrific history that even with the best intentions it’s just a really bad idea. I also see why using something with spiritual significance is not OK (e.g. wearing a bindi or a Native American headdress in a context other than how it was meant to be used).

      However, when it comes to things like hairstyles or dance moves I find the objection harder to understand (which does not, of course, make it invalid). I read the piece that was linked to and it raised the same questions for me.

      What is the line between appreciation and appropriation? If you admire the way someone dances, it seems natural to me to want to learn how to do it yourself. Miley isn’t making fun of twerking, nor is she taking credit for it. Why isn’t it OK for her to dance that way is she wants to? I’m hoping someone can go into more detail.

      • The way I’ve read articles about it, it’s come across to me that Miley’s desire to claim “black culture” and associated “accessories” are offensive because in their initial form (i.e. when women from lower socio-economic status twerk or wear grills, etc.) they are ridiculed and considered “uncultured”, but if a white girl (from a higher socio-economic status) does the same thing, it’s suddenly cool and ironic and funny.

        Basically – if it’s not “cool” for black women to do it when they are the originators, it’s not okay for a white person to “make it cool”.

        **This is how I’ve understood it. If someone has more perspective or if I’ve misinterpreted it, please let me know.**

        • I see what you’re saying, and I’m going to think more about it more rather than continuing to argue. As a white person I probably overlook some of the more subtle forms of racism, and if enough people are offended there’s likely something to it. I’m still figuring out the line between appropriation and genuine cultural exchange. I’m interested how something that originated in one social group can more outwards in a way that’s appropriate and respectful (particularly if that group is, or has been, oppressed by others), and would love different perspectives on the matter.

  43. As long we’re talking about Miley Cyrus, I’m gonna link to this amazing performance of Jolene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOwblaKmyVw

    Which, if you employ some selective listening, is totally a lesbian love anthem (“your beauty is beyond compare / with flaming locks of auburn hair / with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green / your smile is like a breath of spring / your skin is soft like summer rain” SO YOU’VE BEEN FEELING HER SKIN? Also “I had to have this talk with you / my happiness depends on you / and whatever you decide to do” I’m just saying.)

  44. I was just thinking about the olden days, when Miley was a Disney star and was always yammering on in the press that she was waiting until marriage to have the sexi-times. THEN IT DAWNED ON ME; I too told my boyfriends that I was waiting until marriage. Repeatedly. Emphatically. I was the queen of NO. I remember one of them replied with “but you’re not even religious!”

    *crickets*

    He was right. But I live in Texas where that was/is still somewhat kind of common and it gave me the perfect excuse to NOT HAVE THE SEXI-TIMES WITH THE BOYS. Unfortunately for me (and them) it took me years (and years and years, sigh…) to figure out whyyyyyyy I used religion to avoid intimacy with boy parts for so long (and also why I was obsessed with Ani DiFranco, cut all of my hair off just like Sharon Stone when “Sphere” was released, and could not take my eyes off the hot little blonde MFA student with the pixie cut who was always sauntering around the Fine Arts building in a white tank top and paint-splattered baggy overalls…whew…I digress). I’m not saying Miley is a big ol’ gayelle like me, but it makes me wonder how many other clever little queers have unknowingly used religion as a figurative chastity belt.

    • Lol yes me too! It was most evident when the first girl came along, my pants came off with no question.

  45. I’m pretty sure there’s a lady-tongue between her legs that has her writhing in ecstasy at 0:50-0:58.

  46. On a related-because-it’s-unrelated note, my girlfriend just watched the video without knowing the Autostraddle-relevance and exclaimed about 5 times how gay this video was. I was afraid that I was only “seeing” things because of this article, but no, it is pretty friggin’ gay all around.

  47. >>there’s actually nothing gayer than being weird.>>

    Well that explains a lot about my life.

  48. “In a white-centric world, putting white women quite literally in the center of the frame while women of color are off to the side is a powerful, disrespectful visual message, and it really must be said: Human beings are not accessories. These women might be her friends, but the general dynamic created is that she is in charge and they are in service to her. Not so far off from Paula Deen’s dream dinner party. Remember when Gwen Stefani surrounded herself with Harajuku girls? Margaret Cho, at the time, labeled it a minstrel show. A really on-the-nose choice of words, since white people have been mimicking black people for fun and profit from Al Jolson to Amos n’ Andy to Elvis. Now we have Ke$ha (seen below) and Miley dressing up like they live in the hood. (Do not forget that thanks to her father being a huge star and her time at Disney, Miley has been wealthy for her entire life.)”
    —
    ~ Dodai Stewart,
    http://jezebel.com/on-miley-cyrus-ratchet-culture-and-accessorizing-with-514381016

    • I find some of the things said in the article extremely racist. Way more racist than this video.

      “Now we have Ke$ha and Miley dressing up like they live in the hood.” … That is a huge stereotype. To me, that’s as ridiculous as saying black women are trying too dress too white. Or trailer park.

      “But basically, she, as a rich white woman, is “playing” at being a minority specifically from a lower socio-economic level.” Yikes. Poor women objectify themselves and wealthy women do not? Lower income black women are all dancing to “dirty” music associated with strip clubs, pimps and drug dealers?

      I still fail to understand how not being racist requires you to acknowledge color and behave in a certain way depending on the color you are. Excluding someone from behavior because they are a certain color is wrong IMO and it goes all ways. It boils down to style and vibe, not color. If people treat others badly often because of a fear someone being different… the more people are pushed out because they are different, the more they will notice skin color and differences instead of becoming blind to it.

      • What Gwen Stefani did was really not cool (same with Gwen and the rest of No Doubt dressing up as “cowboys and Indians” – what were they thinking?). The harajuku girls thing was really dehumanizing. However, I don’t think it’s an entirely fair comparison. There are people of color throughout Miley’s video, and they are presented as her friends (laughing and interacting with her, not just being silent background figures). I feel like not featuring poc, and actively avoiding engaging in activities associated with poc, is more racist than trying to engage with a culture different from your own. That said, it does seem like she’s trying way to hard.

      • If you’re trying to become blind to differences, you’re aiming the wrong direction.

    • This article makes so much sense.

      “The exchange and flow of ideas between cultures can be a beautiful thing. I believe in cross-pollination and being inspired by those whose experience is not like your own. If Miley is inspired by gold teeth and bounce music and has friends who are rappers, that’s not a problem. But when she uses these things to re-style her own image, she veers into dangerous territory.”

      Being inspired vs. appropriating = important distinction to make

  49. CLEARLY THE QUEERIST ITEMS: “Its our bodies we can do what we want to” “Its our house we can love who we want to”

    Also- Dancing a certain way is not exploiting a culture. hip hop is not a race. why the fuck do we need to be angry at racial/class/gender integration of a style?????

  50. 10 seconds into watching this initially, I knew it needed a Brittani review. I mean…SO.MUCH.TONGUE.

    And also crotch.

  51. “(True story: Miley said to them: “I just want something that just feels Black.”)

    Blackness is not a piece of jewelry you can slip on when you want a confidence booster or a cool look. And playing at being poor — while earning a profit by doing so — is just distasteful.”

    I’m disgusted.

  53. dear brittani, i’m a lurker/member since forever ago, in and out of autostraddle because life pulls you in so many directions sometimes but this, this, this is why i love AS sooo much! as why do you know me so well, feels like you are my bestfriend

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