“The first months of Lex were frenzied and horny and I loved it so much. Even if I didn’t match with anyone I loved the energy. Now it’s people talking about longing and dread and looking for roommates?”
COVID-19 turned our relationship long-distance. We’re getting through it with Jane Austen and love letters.
“How are you liking all this social distancing? It’s cool that you write for Autostraddle”
Dating Download is a new ongoing series where Shelli, Dani and Drew try out the latest or most overlooked of dating apps so you don’t have to. Today they’re giving you the full download on XO.
No matter how cautious we try to be, we are going to hurt people. The question then becomes: when is it worth it?
You and your cyber cutie have probably gone from simple sexting to full-on virtual sex and maybe have seen each others toy or two – but what about exploring something to use together once it’s safe to meet up again? Wet for Her is low key making it hella easy to mix online shopping with your IRL play.
The best advice for a first date is always to be yourself; obviously you’re also interested in being the hottest, most unforgettable version of yourself. A good first date outfit does both.
“Wow I’m making myself sound so fucked up! I promise I got 30 whole percent in secure attachment.”
I’m not saying this word doesn’t hold meaning — I’m saying the opposite. This word holds so many meanings.
“You don’t have to be friends with the girl you met on Tinder (even if she says “wanna be friends instead?” after two dates and some exceedingly mediocre sex).”
Time won’t necessarily “fix” it, but the more distance you have from the relationship and the more time you invest in healthy coping mechanisms, the less destabilizing these thoughts will feel.
“My biggest relationship fear is that my desire to not be controlled means that I’ll be alone forever and never receive any feeling of comfort or security. Yikes! Typing that out was fun.”
“As a broody, miserable bastard, I’ve obviously spent some time pondering past relationship failures and wondering what a functional relationship would look like for myself in the future.”
We released a list of books to read at the end of March for those interested in getting started with polyamory and non-monogamy. These resources go beyond books to blogs, podcasts, movies… so here are eight podcast episodes to get you started on polyamory and non-monogamy during this lockdown!
Sweetly enough, it’s possible to have a shocking number of cute ass dates on Animal Crossing. I’m lucky to be quarantined with my girlfriend, but we’re running low on date opportunities.
Here’s some advice about how to weather a long distance relationship during a global pandemic, whether you and your babe live in different countries or just a few blocks away.
Search polyamory and you’ll see the term partnered with words like “sexual revolution” and “on the rise” in several news pieces on the subject. Surely, there’s more to non-monogamy than sex, or the rebellion of joining a fad? What could it take to make being open/ polyamorous/ non-monogamous work? Eleven books and the internet’s idea of a “sexual revolution” bookshelf later, I present to you a list of some major titles relevant to queer women.
“Should I initiate a conversation with them about our relationship to see if they want more than a friendship? I’m afraid of embarrassing myself/making it awkward/losing the friendship.”
“She admired my tits like only someone else on estrogen could and then she grabbed them harder than anyone had before.”
Sleepovers are overrated.
Breakups are so often garbage and hard, and managing the social media that surrounds it is just another gross layer that makes them even more garbage and even harder.