Glee Episode 201: Brittany Wants to Touch Boobs

Tuesday night was the season premiere of Glee on Fox. I think the best part was the beginning, but I cannot confirm this with 100% certainty because I actually missed the first two minutes. So according to Carly’s tweet, this is the truth. I think that kid with the crazy curly hair was interviewing the students about rumors from the internet, and it was funny because they were bringin’ it back around. The fact that Mr. Schuster shouldn’t rap was brought up.

[Images from Gleeky]

I kind of just want to talk about next weeks Britney/Brittany episode considering the preview for it was my favorite part of tonight’s episode. But umm I haven’t seen that episode yet.

Look, I didn’t know I was going to have to write something about Glee tonight just because we didn’t post anything today and Riese was freaking out about it! I cannot possibly actually write about this episode! You see, my brain becomes zombified when I watch this show and here’s a diagram to explain:

Those are my basic emotions. Oh, and add: “Everyone is hot” to that. I’m simple, you know? I like to dance. Everyone looked good though right? Is it just me or is Kurt really good-looking lately?

I have another question: why do we feel so weird when they do rap/hip hop songs? I feel it too, I mean, WHAT IS IT ABOUT THAT?!

Let me finish this up real quick, not in chronological order:

+ Quinn and Santana get into a serious fight. I liked it. (Brittany unenthusiastically yells “stop the violence!” from the sidelines. Love.)
+ Artie wants to play football even though he has no legs.
+ Why did Rachel and Little Miss Sunshine sing ‘Telephone’ in the bathroom? Was that just for funsies? Cause I think it was.

+ There’s a new kid, he has a Bieber haircut and a big mouth. Like physically, legitimately, a big mouth. I’m not into this guy. He’s too blonde and calculatingly good-looking. I just have a problem against freakishly good-looking young blonde guys singing well, okay?
+ Brittany never EVER disappoints with the one-liners. EVER. She wants to touch Coach Bieste’s boobs.
+ This is totally not even a recap or whatever I don’t know what it is and I apologize! Are you still reading omg.

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Cofounder and Design Director of Autostraddle. Professional web/graphic designer. Whiskey enthusiast. Drumming hobbyist. A past speaker at the 2010 BlogHer Conference ("Good Blog Design: The Role of Layout in an Online Medium"), 2013 Salon LGBTQ Conference ("Innovative Best Practices for Brand-Blogger Campaigns") and featured in the Los Angeles Edition of Refinery29's 30 Under 30 in 2013. Co-owns and manages Tully's Training, a dog training company in Los Angeles. Twitter: @a_ex Instagram: alexxxvegaaa

Alex has written 100 articles for us.


  1. On the bell curve of lips, that blonde guy is extreme. I spent a great deal of the episode saying, “His lips ARE really big. His mouth IS big. Really big. Wow.”

  2. I’m so glad I’m not the only one that searches for Brittany in the background of all the music/dance numbers. She’s such a fantastic dancer. Also I’m getting a seriously queer vibe from the big-mouthed kid, I’m thinking this may lead into Kurt getting his quarterback boyfriend after all. Thoughts?

      • Except Maxxie’s cuter…I’m not a huge fan of this new kid (I hate that billionaire song for reals arghhhh) but if he becomes Kurt’s boyfriend everything will be sunshine and sparkles and happy endings. At least in my head.

        • I hate the billionaire song too! I think I hate the blond kid by default. And making the song acoustic was a new kind of evil, too.

    • yes, me too. i really really tried, like more than 5 minutes…maybe 7? argh, singing all that in teevee makes me a tad nauseous. so sorry.

  3. That’s basically how my brain looks too. Glee makes me feel good and I’m glad that it is back. Brittany remains my favourite.

    Did you see this commercial as well? I laughed. Words are hard!

  4. Glee was the perfect antidote to the awfulness that was yesterday’s DADT disaster.

    Also, “fashion has no gender.” Oh Kurt, your wisdom knows no bounds.

  5. My favorite part was everything Brittany and Sue said, and when Puck asked New Blonde Boy Sam how many tennis balls he could fit in his mouth. I love Lea Michele, but Rachel was more annoying than usual.

  6. my thoughts:

    – love sue
    – so over lea michelle
    – the gaga song was total nonsense
    – hope they make Beiste more like Bobbi Glass in popular (though I guess that’s sort of Sue’s role?) and less of a weird stereotype, so far not too bad on that front
    – the uber-meta cold open was the high point
    – next week looks SIIIICK, as long as they don’t veer in to the gaga/madonna-episode territory. those were disasters, especially madonna.
    – the new blonde kid looks like the joker w/ that crazy mouth of his
    – so glad that quinn is BACK.
    – brittany continues to be the best thing evarrr.
    – “these kids would never be unpopular in real life. they’re all hot and skinny” – Robin


  7. Glee made me cry. Granted, I had already cried like 5 times yesterday, but when they wouldn’t let the butch football coach sit at their table I felt so sad inside, and I felt really sad for her in the locker room afterwards. I actually ended up feeling sad for most of the episode, and I didn’t really like the musical numbers and as you know, I am so sick of every single plot line being based on cutting funding or somebody quitting or getting kicked off of football, glee, or cheerios.

    That being said, I liked that they seem to be getting a little bit deeper this season and obviously big up to Brittany wanting to touch her boobs.

    Next week’s episode will probably be the best episode of my life of anything, ever.

    • I felt the same way. The scene where she kicks Finn off the team made me feel very sad and uncomfortable.

      I loved the way she treated the pizza delivery, though. Showed me that she has experience dealing with bullshit and can turn it around to work in her favour!

  8. I feel like if I started taking this show apart it would just crumble like a dry cookie, leaving me like a sad and empty shell of my former self. I just look at all the shiny colors and pretty girls and smile.

  9. My Dad actually burst out laughing when Brittany said she wanted to touch the Coach’s boobs. Up until that point he’d been pretending he wasn’t watching it. STUNG.

    And yes I almost cried when the coach was crying. That was sad. :(

  10. the brain diagram is also exactly what I am thinking, except the showtunes part is a little larger and the durrrr smart a little smaller.

    I like this recap even if it is not a traditional “here’s what you missed last week on GLEE”cap

    • That’s what I heard! I briefly toyed with the idea of trying out for the open casting call they held for this season, and at the time they were looking for a female singer to rival Rachel, a faculty member, and a boyfriend for Kurt (so they can be — **SPOILER** — a “power couple”). So the blond guy has to be him, right? Plus, they made a few references to homosexuality in regards to him: not just Puck’s “how many balls can you fit in your mouth” question, which Sam successfully deflected back onto Puck, but also the scene when Finn’s trying to get Sam to join glee and Sam turns him down by saying something like, “You know what everyone says about the guys [in glee club]…”

      • I think Kurt will date the other gay character they’re introducing later in the season.

        And I think Sam looks a little like Justin from Queer As Folk. Or, um, Matthew Shepard. Just me?

  11. i would just like to point out that dianna agron is my dream girl, and it is so wonderful to see that QUINN IS BACK, BABY. the quinn/santana catfight was glorious, i don’t think i can get over how quality santana was…and brittany, of course. STOP THE VIOLENCE.

    speaking of quality, kurt has become ridiculously good-looking, hasn’t he? i couldn’t stop staring at him during the “my empire state of mind” performance, the boy was rocking the most incredible haircut. i also want to give coach biebe a hug.

    • oh dear god, i meant beiste. i’m clearly still thinking about the new guy’s jbiebz haircut. it seemed nice enough on him, i guess, but i’m sure we can all put our trust in finn’s senses of fashion & style.

  12. I got ridiculously excited when I saw the “Glee’s Big Gay Summer” sign, then was disappointed when I found out Brittany had spent her summer in the sewers and not in Santana’s pants.

    • This describes a lot of my feelings about the beginning. Why was there not more gay?? It was still awesome though.

  13. Glee is so funny that I overlook the race fail and my hair trigger embarrassment squick to watch it. I think that they grew the new dude in a lab he’s too… idk Aryan but then the lips are like not. And I’m a little obsessed with him. Adam Lambert would probably find him pretty. That last sentence may seem like a non-sequiter but it is honestly the scale w which I categorize boy pretty. So yeah.

    The Glee Brain Chart: Replace all the “Brittany” w “Santana” add a section for me pondering why Chris gets so few solos next to Leah and that’s my Glee experience.

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