You’re hot, you know it, and you want someone else to know it too. Be it a partner, a crush, the internet at large, yourself — you name it, you can record yourself and make that happen. But where do you start? What do you want to showcase? What does a sexy video even MEAN, you know? I am no professional, but I can tell you that I put off writing this very guide for the sake of recording a video of myself jacking off for a date that got VERY POSITIVE reviews. And that, my friends, is true commitment to my art. I am here now to spread the good word of how to get yourself started on the road to hot hot media.
Before you even begin, ask for consent before sending anything. When it comes to sending videos, it’s important to be a bit more explicit with what exactly you are sending. Your recipient might be chill with a cute striptease video, but a full production masturbation session might be overwhelming or not ok for the public coffeeshop they’re currently in. It’s good to check in with what is and isn’t on the table for sexy media, for both your audience and for yourself!
What does “sexy vid” mean to you?
There’s no limit to what a sexy video can actually be. The limit does not exist. Anything (within reason) can be sexy, depending on your delivery or what you and your crush are into. While the direction we are headed is more focused on masturbation-centered media, here’s a quick list of other avenues you could explore if the former isn’t entirely your vibe.
+ Reading literature/erotica straight to camera, possibly masturbating behind the scenes (think Hysterical Literature)
+ A sweet sexy striptease/dance
+ A nudie video sans masturbation, with gentle touches and teasing.
+ Behind-the-scenes footage of you setting a scene without revealing the actual act — laying out blankets, propping pillows, setting up desired toys, taking clothes off, etc
+ Just a straight up video of dirty talk — consider bringing it close to your mouth a la Selena Gomez’s “Fetish” video
+ Spanking/slapping/pinching/nipple play – any form of sensation stimulation
+ A masturbation video just showcasing your face/upper half
+ A masturbation video of just your bottom half/genitals
+ A POV video (for those who can devote time and creativity to angling)
+ A post-masturbation video, breathing and resting
This is just! The! Beginning! Get creative, get specific, make it personal or do what feels good. It’s ok to not feel ready to reveal all. You can also play off the things that are sexy to you and your person specifically — maybe they find your hands really hot, in which case just a video of your hands fastening your belt or rolling a cigarette could be a huge turn on; maybe there’s a prop or toy you know is a favorite of theirs in bed, and a video of yourself idly playing with it or showing it to the camera could be great fantasy fodder. There are other options, and they are still just as sexy!
Who’s the audience?
One of the first things I often consider is who this might be for; this can make all the difference in terms of what the video might look like! If it’s for a date, it might be more intimate; if for a long-term or serious partner, then even more intimate. If it’s something you think you might want to re-use for multiple dates or have as a go-to in the future, maybe it will turn out more general for a broader audience. If it’s for the internet, it might be a bit more performative and require a bit more scene setting. If it’s something I’m taking just to have ready to go at a moments notice, it might be more simple, but still get the general message across. What does your audience want to see, and what do you want to show them? What would feel good to you in different contexts; or what would feel vulnerable in a hot way for that specific audience rather than vulnerable in a scary way?
Set your scene
There’s the obvious choice is just to go for a shot from your bed or bedroom, and that’s totally cool — but what if this is going to a stranger, to the internet? While you ARE revealing your body, it might be nice to create a separate space for your sexy content that doesn’t necessarily reveal where you sleep or put your laundry. Make a corner of your room a cozy sanctuary; lay out blankets and put up string lights, play music you like, make yourself comfy and separate it from your personal space. Are you playing out a role play or public scene? This requires more elaborate planning — you wouldn’t want to shoot a video in your kitchen that you share with roommates without checking in that it’s cool with them or that they’re home, ya know? Be creative but respectful!
Practice your angles!
Here we’re talking about angles both literally and figuratively — you probably have a side or a pose you feel most confident about, and that’s cool to reach for, but also think more broadly about the many options available to you in terms of how this is filmed. You can choose to be coy, teasing your audience with hints and sneak peeks of what you know they want to see. Alternatively, you could go all in and just do straight close up of your bits; no need to hide what you’re up to. Personally, my primary camera for such content is the selfie camera on my iPhone. Get creative with the ways you prop your camera up — books, pillows, your laptop, a chair you positioned just so, a selfie stick or cheap tripod. While some webcams can capture moments incredibly well, I find they aren’t as reliable. But you do you! Try it all out, do some test runs. To find out if I like an angle, I might set a self timer photo and put myself in the position I imagine I’ll be in for the video to see if I am into what it looks like. That way I don’t end up recording an entire video of just the inside of my thigh. It feels silly, but effective! Have you ever tried to shoot a video of yourself masturbating with your camera above your head without having to hold it with your hands? I encourage you to give it a try! A fun challenge!
Praise and aftercare
This one is for the lucky recipients of sexy beautiful content. Sending something like this, of any nature, is a very vulnerable thing for someone to do. They’re putting a lot of trust in you by sharing this with you. Praise the fuck out of them! They deserve it! They put in this work for you. You aren’t obligated to respond in kind if you don’t want to, but if you agreed you wanted to receive a hot video, show them vocally that you appreciate it. If you’re an audience member of a cam show or viewing some prerecorded internet content, tip the fuck out of the performer and leave a glowing review or feedback if that’s an option. Do you even know how hard it is to get LIVE ON CAMERA and jack off for assumed strangers?? Or take a video of yourself and release it into the ether that is the World Wide Web??? They are doing some incredible work. PAY SEX WORKERS, PAY CAMMERS, PAY FOR YOUR PORN. And praise those who give you the gift of their vulnerability and hot hot content.
Battling insecurity and internalized shame
It happens to the best of us. It is very VERY hard to just casually shake off all that shit we’ve heard for years — those voices don’t just go away. You are not alone. I can’t give you a guaranteed set of steps on how to get yourself out of there but I can tell you you’re hot, you deserve validation and affirmation of that when you share it with someone, and if the recipient isn’t quick to respond or doesn’t give the response you hoped for, it is not you. It’s likely a myriad of other things that are happening to them personally that have absolutely nothing to do with your sweet media. You’re such a babe!
It’s also important to keep in mind that those insecure voices are informed by judgement or words you heard in the past, and are only the thoughts in your head — not the thoughts of others, especially the ones who are excited for you to share yourself in this way with them. Catching yourself thinking something mean or ashamed about yourself doesn’t mean anyone else will think the same! Something I often find myself doing to fend off these thoughts is trying to watch the content I have created as a consumer — I find the things in it I’m into instead of picking on myself. I also will sometimes send said media to my very close friends who are happy to review this work for me and give me lots of words of encouragement and praise. I just want you to know that I see you and I can assure you that a lot of the shit we were fed in our youth about sharing nudes is actually bullshit! Surprise!
This is only the beginning — I believe in you and in your journey to sexy video town. Go forth, feel hot, and remember that you’re doing amazing, sweetie.