We are clearly in November sweeps, because TV is just OOC right now. Get the skinny on Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, V, Grey’s Anatomy, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, all of the Real Housewives, Parks and Recreation, SNL and more!

On this week’s televisionary, Carlytron accidentally takes some nice pills and is temporarily less snarky than normal. Journey with us as we delve into the gay Halloweens and implausible storylines of the Office, Parks and Recreation, Ugly Betty, Community, Gossip Girl, FlashForward, and Grey’s Anatomy.

Jenny is more Jenny than EVER this season, Shane fucks it up again, Helena’s even pretty in jail, and someone commits arson! arson! Oh yeah, and Alice and Tasha are cutehotadorablesexybeautifuletcetc.

First of all: Hellooooooo Paige! Someone tell Papi that she can be a chula without the Hobby Lobby hats, please. In other news, remember how you laughed the whole time they played basketball? Me too.

If Paige and Shane have already done the time then they might as well do the crime you know what I mean ladies?

Things that suck: when you and your girlfriend accidentally wear the same outfit, when everyone has PMS, trying to break up with a girlfriend who refuses to be broken up with, getting blackmailed, meeting a cute girl when you already have a perfectly nice girlfriend, etc. It’s all right here, girls.