That’s right, we’ve got a BONUS EPISODE for you today and are gonna be doing a LIVE episode tomorrow! We are soothing the pain of departure, like how Jenny fell into a pool.
“You can trust someone not to kill you with a knife, but still not trust them with your feelings.”
Not everybody can be a Bette or a Tina or a Jenny. Some people need to look in the mirror and accept their inner Dawn Denbo.
Willam: They said, “Mia, go get a piece of the stage, and just really gnaw at it. No, chew harder, honey. You can chew harder. No, this is the last season. We don’t even need these sets anymore. Chew it up, baby. Chew it.”
Carly: Yeah, who cares? “Chew it up. Spit it out.”
Willam: And Mia chewed the fuck out of it.
John: Could you imagine you and Dylan just got done cunnaling-ing together, you’re in bed, the California sun is basking on you. And then you turn to Dylan and you’re like, “We have to get up so we can go to Max’s Willy Wonka baby shower.” That’s the thing you interrupt with.
Riese: So then we cut to Dylan’s condo or wherever.
Carly: Wherever Dylan lives.
Shannon: Her corporate housing.
Riese: Yeah, her corporate — Dylan has her tea because she’s like, “I’m entertaining a British woman at 11:00 p.m.”
Carly: “So I must make tea!”
Shannon: “Crumpets and tea.”
You knew it was only a matter of time.
Thomas: I remember hearing that there was a trans character named Max, and that he gave birth and that possibly he was inspired by my actions.
Riese: A hundred percent, he was inspired by you.
Carly: A thousand percent.
Nostalgia for mid aughts Black girl excellence, we too would like to thank Dior for this Gillian Anderson look, and oh to be the floor that Janet Mock is lying on.
Riese: I guess if you marry Jodie Foster, you don’t have to do anything anymore.
Rhea: You don’t have to.
Carly: Nooooooo
Riese: I mean, you win!
Rhea: Yeah!
Riese: You win!
Rhea: I mean, you really do! That is it. That’s bingo, right there. “See you guys!”
Carly: You did it!
Rhea: “Later!!”
Carly: You did it.
Rhea: “I’m going to do my thing now. It’s only whatever I want, from here on out!”
Carly: I feel like if I confusedly kissed Jennifer Beals, I would also have to move away.
Christina: I would have to join WITSEC. I would be like, “Listen, get me on a USA cable drama because I got to go. I’m losing it.”
Carly: “I got to go. Give me a wacky sidekick, we can go fight crime together, or whatever. Maybe we’re lawyers. We’re going to wear suits and my name is not Carly anymore.”
Christina: “I can’t be Christina anymore because my mouth has been on Jennifer Beals’ mouth.”
“Womp, womp, womp. It’s the new Shane theme song. It used to be a gnarly guitar riff and now it’s a sad trombone.”
The L Word Generation Q’s first sliver of news has arrived: lesbian icon Rosie O’Donnell will play a “brash and kindhearted” public defender in Season Two and Jordan Hull (Angie) has been upped to series regular status!
Riese: One boob out. I love the one boob out.
Carly: One boob out is incredible.
Riese: And then she explains that they have different core values.
Carly: Then Jodi says, “What are my core values?” And Bette says, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not a judgment.” What? What?
Riese: I want Bette to be like, “I see the beauty in things.”
Carly: And what do you see, Jodi? Also the beauty in things? Oh.
Riese: And Jodi’s like, “I’m wearing your exact outfit. Obviously, I also see the beauty in things.”
Erin: Wow, they have really done you dirty. I would love to make you two s’mores.
Carly: Thank you!
Riese: Let’s go glamping!
The lights are out and everybody’s making out and we are having a live episode that you can watch (or read the transcript of!) right now, and also a podcast episode! WOW!
Join Riese, Carly, Mal Blum, Gaby Dunn, Brittani Nichols and Cerise Castle for an all-star livecast of our recording for The L Word Episode 509, “Liquid Heat”! (Yes that’s the one where everybody has sex.)
“My one note is, “God, I wish Tasha was a firefighter, so I didn’t have to feel conflicted about her.”
“I had a moment where I was watching this again, and I remembered watching this scene 12 years ago, and I was like, wow, I’m gay. You know?”