Like millions of other grown-up kids, I hopped onto my Nintendo Switch as soon as I was done with work last Friday and fired up my brand new download of Pokemon Violet. Sure, sure, there’s visual glitches whatever — this game is AWESOME! I love the open world, I love the retro arcade feel of the soundtrack, I love riding around on my Miraidon PokeBike and having my lead Pokemon running along beside me, I love making sandwiches for myself and all my little monster friends! As usual, there’s plenty of gayness to be found if you keep your eyes open. Here are my 15 gayest Pokemon Scarlet & Violet encounters so far!
My Gay Uncle Mr. Saguaro
The home economics teacher at Naranja Academy is my protective gay uncle. He made that apron himself. He also made those biceps and pecs himself due to also being a gym daddy.
Trans Icon Marill
When I caught Azurill, the gender it was assigned was female. When it evolved into Marill, its gender became male. There’s a 33% chance that will happen to all Azurill who are assigned female at catch! Transmasc transmice!
This Queer Femme
If I had a dollar for every time an angry queer femme said this to me and I completely gave in and gave her everything she ever wanted, I’d have a lot of dollars that I would spend on whatever the next angry queer femme I met asked me to do!
Monogamous Lesbian Couple Tandemaus
Also, when they fight, they pull out other Pokemon’s fur so they can use it for their favorite hobby: building a nest.
Agender Pansexual Jelly
Fuck gender! Fuck Puritanical hysteria! They’re here to have a good time, breed some babies, and gently mock you!
A Very Tired Butch in the Wild
My Bisexual Scorpio Gym Teacher
You should see her try to sit on a chair.
A Psychic Duck With an Anxiety Disorder
AND chronic migraines? Too relatable!
— zinar (@fIawedroses) November 21, 2022
Sprigatito the Weed Cat has the campiest starter evolution, for sure. But good heavens, Quaxley! I thought Pavé from Animal Crossing was the gayest peacock in gaming, but Quaxley has knocked her right off the throne. The outfit, the moves, the bad bitch-ness of it all!
Every Glee Villain
‘Cause we didn’t stop believin’, Team Star Grunt.
Show me a gayer affliction.
Trauma Response Disguised as a Superpower
Friend, let me get you the number for my therapist.
This Georgia O’Keeffe Painting
Falling in Love With the Older Girl Who Stood Up for Me
If you think I’ve been following Nemona around the map and buying cooler and cooler accessories to impress her, you are correct.
Cuffing Season Greavard
Catch them on Tinder, Her, Bumble, TikTok, Twitter, Hive, Mastadon, and in the Autostraddle comments.
Thank you, Mommi.